


Them's Friendin' Herds

by NotSoDogNinja



Category: Battle For Dream Island (Web Series), My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Them's Fightin' Herds (Video Game)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Crossover, Zeeky Boogy Doog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 53,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25742329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoDogNinja/pseuds/NotSoDogNinja
Summary: Life had been peaceful in the world of Fœnum. The inhabitants of this world – furry, four-footed, hooved – had thrived for generations, creating culture, building societies. They lived happily, with sweet, grassy pastures at their disposal and great, expansive fields to gallop across. They were free. But everything changed when the predators attacked.A chance magical occurrence from Twilight and Oleander has thrown the time-space continuum out of whack, throwing the universes of Equus and Foenum together (and BFDI, because why not). And the threat of the predators still looms on ahead, threatening now not one, but both dimensions (And BFDI)! And with the ponies no longer having a reliable insta-kill option, what will befall them?Join all your lovable ungulates (and dragon) (and random household objects) as they race against the clock to save Equestria! And Foenum! (And BFDI) Man, is this confusing.
Kudos: 9





	1. Discordant Trials, Dimensional Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two unicorns and their chaotic friends flip up. On accident, of course.

"Okay! Everything's all set up nicely!" In one of the lower rooms of the Castle of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle was trying to analyze a strange piece of hair. The polymerase, the centrifuge, beaker, hair dissolver...

Discord was looking at Twilight with a bored expression. "So, you're telling me, that in order to find out who stole your hayburger, you need to perform an experiment on this 'DNA?' And you need me to, basically, if what this list says is accurate," A pair of glasses and a red trench coat came into existence on Discord's body. "Separate the cells from the cartilage, take the cell's nuclei and remove the stringy stuff from inside and make a tiny ball out of it?"

Twilight smiled. "Yep! That's it! Now, can we please get the deoxyribonucleic acid, Please, Discord?"

Discord rubbed a paw on his chin. "I could... or maybe..."

"Please, Discord!" Twilight restated, becoming flustered as she easily did with him.

He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I can't keep living this lie."

"WHAT?!"

"It is my solemn duty to inform you that I, Dinkle Scord from ********, have eaten your hayburger."

Twilight stood stock still, mouth agape in shock. Discord started to pack a suitcase. "I am sorry. Please, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be ever grateful." Seeing no reaction from the frozen alicorn, Discord finished packing, throwing in his skin, revealing an island style shirt. "Tell Fluttershy I loved her. To an extent. But for now, I must go. Adieu." He then opened up a dimensional rift, jumping in.

Twilight finally snapped out of her stupor. "WHAT?! You can't go!"

Discord popped back out of the portal. "Well, what's keeping me?"

Twilight hesitated for about half a second before responding "Fluttershy."

"You raise a good point..." He snapped his fingers again, causing him to revert back to his "smart outfit." "Well... I must say, I hate to be rude but-"

"JUST GET ON WITH IT!" Twilight basically screamed.

Discord remained, well, discordant as ever. "Pish, posh, Twilight. No need to be so pushy... Did you have anything to eat lately?" His finger turned into a lightbulb, which he held over his head. "Oh, right, you didn't. I ate it. Well..." Discord snapped his fingers, causing the suitcase and ridiculous outfit to disappear in a flash of light. "Consider this as a peace offering. A nice, shiny... BOOK!" True to his word, Discord held a large volume tauntingly in front of Twilight's face.

She immediately brightened up. *gasp* "I haven't read this one yet!" She took another look at the cover. " _The Prophet's Key._ Interesting. Oh! It has some spells at the end!" Hunger completely forgotten, the lavender pony headed off to the library to see if Starlight was there. Discord, on the other hand, sat in contemplative silence. "Oh, wait. My bad. The burger's still in its box, right on that table."

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"Fred. Come take a look at this."

The demon came out of his book, looking at the unicorn that he had made a pact with. "Yes, Olly?"

The dark unicorn was sitting at her desk, several papers in front of her. She rolled her eyes, then looked fondly at the specter. "Yes. It appears that a new bit of information was found. See here." She placed her shiny cloven hoof on top of a large, open book. "This book contains several spells, many of which could prove useful."

The demon stood by, skeptically. "I don't exactly think that this-"

Oleander cut him off. "The author's name is... Starswirled the Bearded. Strange name, that."

"Olly, I-"

"Oh, I can hardly wait. More spells, and one more step closer to finding the Key."

"OLLY."

"Don't call me Olly. Table of contents, hm? Where's the combat related spells?"

"OLEANDER."

The dark unicorn was not expecting the dark entity to call her by her real name. "What?"

Fred held up the book with a large claw like appendage. "This book comes from another dimension. We have no idea what it these spells do, or why this book is here, or how it even got here-"

Oleander cut him off again. "So basically you're saying that this spellbook from this other dimension isn't supposed to be here, and that the spells contained in here can be dangerous?"

Fred somehow nodded. "Yes, that's exactly what I was going to say."

Oleanders eyes glowed white. "Perfect."

* * *

_Meanwhile...Again..._

Twilight had managed to assemble both Starlight and Sunburst in the room with the new book. Sunburst flipped through the pages readily, while Twilight explained what Discord had given them.

"So he just gave you a spellbook?"

Sunburst called from the behind the cover. "Most of it appears to be an autobiography, but there are a few spells in the back... Take a look at this one."

Both purple unicorns took a peek. "Interesting, right, Starlight?!"

Starlight's face showed signs of doubt. "I dunno, Twilight. I've never seen a spell like that before..."

"What's the problem with it?" Twilight courteously asked.

"I've been practicing magic since I was a filly, to er... enslave villages and beat up you. I've never seen a working spell only two words long..."

Spike called out from the next room. "What about that 'fidulus compelus' spell?"

"That's just the title of the spell. It's actually several words long. This spell is ONLY two words. And they're even less sensical than most spells."

Twilight took the book from her. "That's why it's so exciting! If this spell works, than who can tell what other spells it opens up?! Ooh, grody, tahm to get-a cracka-lackin'!"

Sunburst looked at Twilight strangely. "Uh... Before you get, ahem, cracka-lackin'? Is that how you say it?"

"Yep."

"You should know that this book is unlike any others I've read. The story seems like an autobiography, but the events... They don't line up with anything in Equestrian history."

Twilight still remained optimistic. "So, either that means we've uncovered something hidden for years, or this was just something she used as a story?"

"Maybe... Let's see these spells though. We didn't come here for nothing. Might as well try these out... What's the first spell?" Starlight, the speaker, pulled out a little notepad and pencil and started to document everything her friends said.

Sunburst looked in the book again. "Hmmm..."

* * *

"Look Olly, I'm not saying you shouldn't do this, just approach it with caution."

"Oh, put a can in it, Fred. I'll be fine. All I have to do is not die, and we'll be fine."

"Whatever you say Ollie."

Oleander propped up the book on a small stand. "Let's see here... first spell in the book... transdimensional travel? Swapping places with another entity? Fred, this looks promising." 

"That doesn't sound... too bad," Fred agreed.

"At the very least sounds useful for getting the predators back in bondage. Let's try it out."

Standing back from her desk in a more open area, Oleander stood in an attacking position.

FTHNG read the spell out. "Alright. You're in position... Well hydrated... Haven't used other strong spells in a while... Okay. Whenever you're ready. It'll take fifteen seconds to charge up completely, but you should be able to teleport there and back, and take that donut with you."

Oleander nodded. She. Was. Ready.

* * *

"Not seeing what the spell does..."

Twilight couldn't be stopped. "Doesn't matter! We'll find out!"

Sunburst read the book some more. "Wait, I see something! Something about teleporting to a dimension, then coming back? It seems that you can take things with you, then leave them there. You'll be able to return anytime you want! No drawbacks, or wormholes necessary. The only thing is, you can't bring ghosts there. Oddly specific..."

Proud of herself, Twilight said some final snarky words to Starlight. "See, Starlight? Nothing wrong. Now, all I have to do, according to these instructions is repeat the words, and I'll be able to teleport to the dimension myself one time! Okay... _This is so exciting!_ " 

Starlight wrote that Twilight was sometimes a jerk in her notebook. What a friendship lesson.

"Okay... Have you done any large scale teleportation spells recently? Like, more than fifty feet in the past day or so?"

"Nope!"

"Are you well hydrated?" 

"Yep!"

"Well... Then I guess you're okay to go. Do the spell whenever you want, just be careful in that dimension, okay?"

"Alright! I. Am. Ready!"

* * *

"Starting the spell in Three..."

* * *

"Two..."

* * *

"One!"

* * *

"Dimensious Iterus!"

* * *

"Dimensious Iterus!"

* * *

Donut: "Ooba wooba grooba shmooba?"

Pen: "Frooba Drooba."

Donut: "Correct!"

_Wait, wrong camera._

* * *

Fifteen seconds passed. Nothing happened. Twilight was confused. "What?! I- I thought that it would work! Why didn't it-"

Sunburst shook his head, smiling a little bit. "See, Twilight? I thought the book looked sketchy. For a book? Heh? Sketchy? Sketchbook? Heh..." Regaining his composure after that awful excuse of a joke, he continued. "Sorry, Twilight, but I don't think the spells were real."

Twilight looked downcast at the mention of this.

Seeing Twilight looking like this prompted Starlight to attempt to comfort the alicorn. "Don't look so down, Twilight! Like, what would you even do in there? Stash some snacks or something? Not even the first time I found a fake spell, thinking it was real. Like remember that time when I tried to turn Spike female using that spell that Garble suggested? Heh, heh?"

At that same moment, Spike waltzed into the room. "Hey guys! How's it- WOAH WHAT THE HOLY HAYSTACKS IS THAT?!" He pointed past Twilight, where a bright light started to form.

Starlight looked in awe and fear at the rapidly growing orb. "What is that?"

Sunburst called from the other side of the room. "I think its the spell!"

The orb started shining brighter, rays of light flying in all directions.

Ducking for cover, Twilight hid under a table. "I didn't think it would look like this! Check the book again!"

Grabbing the book, Spike quickly found the page in question, using his years of knowledge as Twilight's assistant. "Uh... Uh... UH- IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT! WERE-"

The orb of light grew to a massive size in a matter of milliseconds, consuming the ponies, dragon, room, castle, and surrounding countryside in itself. And then, quiet. Nothing was left. Everything was leveled down.

* * *

...Nothing happened.

"Nothing? Seriously? What a waste of time..." Oleander sadly walked back to the book and closed it, producing a satisfying thud.

"Aw, sorry to hear that it didn't work out Olly." Fred tried to comfort the little unicorn he had grown fond of.

Oleander wasn't listening. She heard a small electrical sound from directly behind her. Turning around, she saw a glowing, snow white orb in the spot she was standing a moment ago.

Thinking quickly, her horn flared up in its usual dark colors, trying to overpower the orb. Only seconds later, the horn light died out as Oleander's magic was the one found overpowered.

The orb expanded quickly, but slow enough for Fred to say "I warned you Olly."

The entirety of Foenum was similarly consumed by light, and condemned to an unknown future.

* * *

Discord was watching the entire event transpire on a small television set. 

"Well, this is awkward."

He changed the channel to "My Little Donkey."

"Perhaps I should have let Twilight tell Fluttershy I loved her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Occurs after Season 9 of MLP, and story mode didn't happen.  
> Someone had to do it.
> 
> Also, I'm not finished with On the Lamb yet, just wanted to try something else. And have an excuse to write about Discord.


	2. Friendship Princess and Forgone Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twilight and Oleander find each other. And find Starlight and Fred on the way. BFDI also solidifies itself as a gag.
> 
> Oh, of COURSE you start out with a punch, me! Learn to tone down your humor.

_And now for the truly mysterious inner machinations of Twilight's mind:_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

_This concludes the truly mysterious inner machinations of Twilight's mind._

* * *

She didn't know how long she was falling for. Maybe it wasn't even falling; maybe she was flying at this point, she was in the air for so long.

All she did know, is that it was white. Bright white. But she wasn't blind; she had felt that before... A while back.

But by the forces acting on her, she was definitely hurtling in a direction. Though it was impossible to tell which.

She had tried before to regain control by levitation while in the void, but somehow, this ORB prevented her from using her magic. This wasn't what she thought traveling to another dimension would be like...

_Whump!_

Finally! She landed. Scrambling up onto her hooves again, she was... Back in her room?

She took another look. Everything was just as she had left it, except papers were scattered all over the place, and the Unicornominon was nowhere in sight. Wait, what?!

The only thing actually protecting her from any predators coming for her, and the only one who knew anything about the Predators, Gone?! This was DEFINATELY not part of her plan. Checking the other rooms in her smallish house yielded nothing at all either.

She frustratingly let out a grunt. "Another failure?" Angrily holding up Starswirl's log, she shouted, "This... BOOK has done nothing but make matters worse for me!" She contemptuously tore up the page with the spell, burning it in a flash of flame.

Like this totally won't effect the plot later.

Then she bolted bolted out the door of her house to try to find the magic book holding the demon.

And right smack dab into... some sort of a unicorn-pegasus hybrid?

Lavender colored. Not unusual for one of her kind, but the main point of interest for her was the pegacorn's, as she dubbed her- hooves. It was not like her own, appearing to be that of a standard equid's, similar to a horse's. This... was getting into territories of crossbreeds that bordered on impossible.

She was also holding a book. It looked very familiar to say the least...

* * *

Twilight had found herself in a similar situation to the dark unicorn standing in front of her. She also didn't have any control over her movement while she was still in the white void, but she fared slightly better and was overall less winded when she landed. She didn't land back in the castle, instead landing somewhere in the forest.

After reorienting herself, she quickly found the nearest dwelling, which just so happened to be Oleander's abode.

Eh, nothing out of the ordinary for her. She recalled that did this in the past, with some humans.

What WAS out of the ordinary was the appearance of the unicorn in front of her. Compared to a normal unicorn, her nose was slimmer, horn was longer, and hair more unkept, but most of that could be chalked to ancestry or the like.

What couldn't be was her hooves. A unicorn, with cloven hooves? Unheard of. And exciting! A new species, perhaps?

The cloven-hooved unicorn butted into her daydreaming. "What are you doing here... Pega...Uni... Pegacorn? Are you from the other dimension?"

"I... guess? Oh, and I'm an alicorn, actually."

"An... alicorn?" Twilight barely stopped herself from shooting off another sharp retort. This was the first contact she had from a different dimension entirely! Best to keep it... civil.

"Oh! Right. I guess you don't have those where you come from... It's like a pegasus plus a unicorn, with an added bonus of earth-pony physical strength!"

The unicorn tilted her head. "No horse?"

"Uh... no horse. Just pony!"

"And these earth ponies... what are they?"

Hmmm... she didn't know about the different races of ponies? Definitely in another dimension now! "They're ponies that have more physical strength as opposed to magical prowess, letting them work as better farmers."

This unicorn nodded. "I suppose I understand now. Your dimension must have uncloven hooves all around. Is that correct?"

Twilight nodded. "Yep! That's how it was there! But now that I'm in this pocket dimension, I can learn more about it! So I think the first thing I should learn is your name. SOOOO...what's your name?"

"You went to a pocket dimension as well?" the unicorn asked. Just now, Twilight noticed the dark unicorn in front of her had bags under her eyes that indicated exhaustion. Just like... herself? Twilight suddenly noticed how tired she was.

She coughed. "That explains a lot..." She looked past the unicorn's house. "Wait, is that... THE CASTLE OF FRIENDSHIP?!" True to her words, the castle was glistening in the distance.

"That spell I did... It must have made Equestria cross over with this one!"

"As a matter of fact, I think not." The unicorn put on a pair of glasses. "If what you are saying is true, then it would be more likely that WE caused it. We both did it at the same time."

"Oh...this is unthinkable..." The unicorn shook her head, as if to clear it of a headache. "Now both this dimension AND your dimension are in danger of them-!"

"Them? Them who?! I don't even know who 'they' are! I don't even know who YOU are!" Twilight yelled, verging on panic.

The dark unicorn sighed, regaining all composure lost in an instant. "Let us start over. My name is Oleander, the greatest Sorceress in Foenum and the Champion of the Woodlands. What is yours?"

"Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and ruler of Equestria."

"Ruler? Alright," the unicorn said. "I can see we are in much of the same boat... especially since we started this bloody mess in the first place. For NOW at least, we should team up to find out how to fix our homes." She extended a cloven hoof towards Twilight.

"Absolutely," Twilight agreed. She took the hoof in her own and shook it. After pulling away, Twilight looked at her hoof excitedly, while Oleander looked at hers... analytically. Huh. "Well," Twilight offered, "I know just the place to start!"

* * *

This eccentric... alicorn certainly knew how to run somewhere quickly. Teleportation for long distances couldn't be healthy after interdimensional tragedies anyways. Twilight was bearable as well. She wasn't rambling on, as Oleander had feared from the start, but was respecting her general silence, for the most part. Until, at least, she asked the deceptively simple question, "So, tell me a little bit about yourself!" in her usual happy demeanor.

Oleander took some time to craft a response that wouldn't be likely to drive away her only chance at bringing back the world she knew. "Alright. This may or may not make much sense to you, being from another dimension and all, but please try to listen. As you know, my name is Oleander. I come from this place called 'the Woodlands.' In it, live the Unicorns and the Order of the Horn. I was once one of them, but have since attempted the usage of different magics for better or worse. We have an enemy, dubbed 'Predators.' These predators will do anything to destroy the ungulates of Foenum. With the help of my newfound magic, I stood up for the Unicorns to help defeat them. I was toying with some new magic that I thought could be helpful, when we accidentally fused our dimensions, as they're called, together."

Twilight was listening quite intently. It was clear that she found something... familiar about this story, but it was unclear what.

Twilight chuckled a little bit. "You remind me of myself when I was younger! Only a couple of moons ago, I was only a simple unicorn, who wanted to save the world because a great evil came back from her banishment. By travelling to a new town, meeting some amazing ponies who helped me, and confronting her, we managed to stop her with the magic of friendship. Since then, me and my friends have gone on countless adventures together, only... sometimes saving the world."

"So you saved the world... with friendship magic? Oh, I'd like to see that."

"Hey, you might!"

Oleander started to laugh. "Your friends sing a bunch of songs to defeat one-thousand-year old demons and enemies?! And I thought their light magic sounded strange to me!"

"Oh, it's doesn't work like that!" Twilight laughed with Oleander as well. "There's no saying if we'll show you it here! If we can find them..." Twilight stopped her laughing slowly and started to stare off into space.

Oleander didn't have the largest sense of empathy. She hardly had any at all.

But she knew when someone needed comforting.

It wasn't going to come from her though. The best she could do was distract her for a bit.

"So, we are approaching the Castle of Friendship, as you called it, now. You're saying that some of your friends are in there?"

Twilight seemed to snap out of her trance. "Yep! Right in here."

Rather convenient, but Oleander certainly wasn't one to complain when having a lead.

Finally having reached the front entryway, Oleander could now see the Castle in all of its glory. And for once, she was speechless. This CASTLE was made out of pure crystal, something that rivaled even the greatest architecture in Foenum. She felt qualified to say that, especially after exploring the Ruins in its entirety.

After barging in, they nearly ran over a light purple unicorn, an orange, unkept unicorn, and Fred. THERE he was! "Fred! I've been looking all over for you! Where were you?!"

"Starlight! Sunburst!" Twilight called out to her friends.

"Twilight! You're okay!" The lighter unicorn, Starlight, Oleander assumed, gave Twilight a warm hug. The other one, Sunburst?, sat in relative silence. He simply asked, "Who's your friend?"

Oleander responded readily. "My name is Oleander, Champion of the Woodlands. You are Sunburst, I presume?"

Sunburst nodded as Fred piped up from his book. "What happened? And who's your purple friend, Olly?"

"Don't call me Olly. Our home and her dimension crossed over. Fred, this is Twilight. She is going to help us fix this."

Fred nodded and extended a claw-like-appendage to Twilight in greeting. "How do you do?"

"H-hi... Fred! How're you? I'd Hades- I MEAN HATE to interrupt, but well... Stuff happened. I mean, Spike appears to be Tartar- TARDY, but that's fine! I'm sure he'll turn up eventually!"

Fred's neutral expression gave nothing away. "I know."

Oleander stopped the conversation short. "Either way, we should get going. To the east. There's some things over there that will no doubt be helpful. I'll explain more about the Predators on the way. There is no time to waste. We MUST find the Key and the way to fix this mess. And also, perhaps your friends as well."

"I'll come with you guys!" Starlight called out to Twilight, picking up a travel pack as she jumped out of her seat.

Twilight shook her mane, scattering a few sparkles from her mane as she did. "No. If YOU of all ponies get lost, it might just be over. If you can, try to find more information on these 'predators.'"

"Well... that might be hard without any guides on this dimension." Starlight slumped down in defeat. "There's no way we have anything on them, even in your truly incredible library."

"I can stay behind." Fred offered.

"What? NO! I will NOT allow you." Oleander leapt forwards and snatched the book using her magic.

"Wait, that might actually be a good idea." Oleander looked at who said it. What do you know, it was Starlight of all ponies.

"Do explain your theory, Starlight."

"Well," Starlight explained, "He obviously knows the most about these predators out of all of us. You can tell Twilight what you know as you go, he can tell us what he knows. Then, we can all meet back together and brainstorm!"

The other ungulates and Fred were in agreement. Oleander had nothing left to argue about; they were wasting precious time. For once, she relented.

"Fine. BUT, only on the condition of two days AT MAXIMUM. Agreed?"

"Agreed." "Agreed."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Twilight suddenly grabbed Oleander with her magic and flew out the door of the Castle of Friendship. Oleander quickly regained her footing on the grassy floor, breaking into a run.

The two unicorns flew and ran respectively to the east, Oleander providing directions, Twilight being ever observant of their surroundings. Sunburst, Fred, and Starlight all waved goodbye to the rapidly retreating figures.

  
  
  
  


"So, uh, mister FTHNG?"

"Yes, Sunburst? Also, please call me Fred. FTHNG is... Hard to pronounce most of the time."

"Okay, um, Fred. Uh... Do you uh... like... artifacts?"

"Why, in fact I do. I have quite the expansive collection. Would you like to see one?"

Sunburst's eyes dilated, and his mouth let out a happy gasp of excitement. "Yes, of course I would!"

Starlight rolled her eyes. It would be a long rest of the day.

As she went inside, she was aware of a small pulsating glow from her flank...

* * *

Meanwhile...

Pen: I mean, it was really weird, I honestly have no idea how he got in there!

BEP Squad: Hahahahaha!

Blocky: You know, I've actually been thinking of doing more pranks, but, well, recovery centers, my INSPIRATION! There all gone.

Eraser: Well, if you ever need a hand with one of those, I'm down.

Pen: I'd say "Me too," but y'know, my team has this whole "preventing death" thing-

Blocky: Yeah you can't go betraying their- wait. What's that over there?

Pen: Huh? Oh, that glowy thing? Hmmm... not sure.

Blocky:...

Eraser: Should we jump in?

Pen: Nah, I don't think so. It would ruin the fun, y'know, like how you wouldn't like to see yourself in a movie or something?

Eraser: Yeah, your right.

Pen: Oh, that reminds me, Eraser!

Orb: VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *Expanding noises* *Sucking noises*

BEP squad: *Whatever noises you make when getting sucked into a white void*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: One moon=approximately five years for BOTH parties present.
> 
> BFDI characters (Pen, Blocky, and Eraser) are now a substory at the end of each chapter. They'll do everything that Twilight and Oleander do, just two chapters behind until a certain point. More comic relief than anything else.


	3. The Cowgirl and the... Cow girl?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Applejack and Arizona meet. Many bucks, chuckles, and rucks to be had.

_Discord, do you want some more popcorn?_

"No, I want to get back to Fluttershy."

_Well, then open a portal to get back to her. That's how you got here, didn't you?_

"I don't even know where she is. Equestria has been completely flattened, and she's nowhere to be found there, even if I go back. She's in this new cross-over place now, with the only clue being the TV signal. I don't even know where the TV signal is coming from, so I've been racking my brain for any ideas! Poor Fluttershy..."

_Have you tried turning the "machine that keeps the dimensions apart" off and on again?_

"Yes, that's the first trick in the book!"

_Okay... Well, have you tried hacking into location SCF-23 using jack HDKS-2 in section D47 with memory address 0x981209792H to force a reboot with the "Poisoned Teeth Command" by creating a simple Python code? That worked last time for me._

"Yes. Nothing."

_Have you tried shoving an actual Python with Poisoned Teeth down jack HDKS-2 into location SCH-23, section D47? If it works out, then you should be able to short out 0x981209792H by using the poison._

"Wait, what?! That might actually work! Give me a few seconds, time to find the machine again!"

_Yes. Sure. Gee. That's depressing. And now back to your regularly scheduled program._

* * *

"OOF!" Applejack had come to her senses lying in a haystack. "Unnnghh..." Groaning, she wobblily stood up on all fours. What in the hey happened? One moment she was standing, doing... something, the next, conked out cold.

Noticing the pitchfork stuck upright in the hay in right beside her, she chalked it down to her overworking herself again. Rarity had warned her about that; probably said something along the lines of "Darling, all that filthy work can't possibly be healthy for someone with a stature like you! You're so... petite!"

Personally, Applejack didn't consider herself as "petite," being about, or rather EXACTLY, as tall as Rarity herself, but what she said was right. Applejack did workhorse-elf too hard way too often. Finally, Applejack found the energy to pick up the pitchfork and mosey on out of the barn for some brunch at Golden Harvest's house.

The events before she passed out slowly came back to her. Yep, she was shoveling hay back into the barn for the past couple of hours. Since the sun said it was about an hour before noon, she felt it appropriate to head over there now.

Passing the pigs, the corn, and the cows, the orange equine straightened her back, feeling the warm sun on her neck. It was a good day for farm work. No wonder she fell asleep on the hay; it was so comfortable. For her, at least. Rarity would have a fit if she were forced to sit in there for any amount of time.

Ah, there was good ol' Carrot Top's house. Absentmindedly, Applejack looked around her house, but something wasn't right. What were those caravans doing there? In front of Applejack, there were about eight caravans, lined up in a circle around a small campfire in the middle of a desert. All of them seemed in good repair, but no one was nearby to check on them.

Wait, DESERT?! That DEFINATELY wasn't there before. Something happened, but she didn't know exactly what happened to turn a previous road into a sandy wasteland.

Making up her mind, she walked over to the back of one to investigate further. Upon inspection, it appeared to hold several containers, but none of them seemed to house any magical spells or djinns that could have caused it. They also apparently didn't seem to be part of any magical gypsy band, so that was good. It also ruled out the possibility-

"Howdy!"

Applejack instinctively turned, striking a defensive stance. All she saw were the cows grazing not far off. "Ah, nuthin' there. Is mah lack a' sleep really that bad fer me ta be 'allucinatin'?"

"Ah dunno. 'Aven't seen you around these parts before."

Almost out of nowhere, a small calf with a red bandanna tied around her neck was standing in front of Applejack. She hopped from one side to the other in an energetic fashion. "Who're you? Whut are ya doin' with mah family's carts?" the cow asked, confident smile on her bovine features.

AJ shuffled her hooves, eyes and mouth open in surprise. This calf wasn't normal. She was definitely a cow, horns, tail, and muzzle all lined up. But, she had the stature, eyes, and even MANE of a pony, to an extent. But, the absolute MOST disturbing about her was that she SPOKE, coherently. Not some mix of moos and broken ponish, but genuine ponish, completely grammatically accurate.

The calf, seeing no response to her question, asked again. "Let's staht ova', nice 'n' simple. Who're ya?"

AJ appeared to want to faint. "Ah-Ah MUST be 'allucinatin'..."

"Ust B. Alucy-Natin? Strange name." The calf impatiently stomped both hind hooves on the ground, one after the other.

"Uh, wha? No! Mah name is Applejack, Element of Honesty!" she corrected.

The cow continued. "Oh, uh, okay, Applejack? Did Ah get that right?"

"*gulp* Yep."

"Good. Mah name's Arizona, Champion of the Prairie. Nice tah meet you." The calf, who was now noted as a female, narrowed her eyes and continued her questioning. "So, uh, what WERE you doin', checkin' out our carts like a thief in a thicket?"

"Uh..." Oh, how the heck do you explain to someone that there wasn't a desert in the area before-?

"There was never a desert there, and I thought y'all could've MADE the desert appear?" That certainly wasn't the right way. Applejack visibly cringed while saying it, and the cow didn't seem entirely convinced either.

"Your head filled with tumbleweeds? Like mah pa always said, deserts don't appear out of thin air." Arizona looked thoughtful for a moment. "Don't know exactly what he meant when he said it, but he certainly said it."

AJ dropped her voice low as she murmured, "You haven't seen the beginnin' of it..."

"Huh?"

"Nuthin'!"

"Alright," the calf said, finally appearing satisfied. "I guess I'll believe ya. You don't seem like a liar. You're name's... Applejack, right, sugarcube?"

Sugarcube? That was... somewhat unexpected. Especially after that bad start with the caravans. Applejack realized that she should probably not make this any worse than it already was, and so decided to treat kindness with kindness.

"That's right, Arizona, wasn't it? Heh. Wasn't expectin' tah meet a talkin' cow today."

Arizona looked confused. Sarcastically, she responded with, "You've never seen a talkin' cow before, miss Applejack? Do all yer cows stay silent?"

Blinking, Applejack responded with, "Uh... that's hard tah tell, 'specially 'round 'ere, in a place like Equestria."

"Equestria?" The cow tipped her head to one side. "Wuzzat? This is Foenum!"

"Foenum?" The orange pony parroted the cow's motions. "This is Equestria!"

A figurative lightbulb seemed to go off in the cow's head. "Oh, golly. Somethin' happened!"

One seemed to go off in Applejack's as well. "Ah don't know much about magic, but seems BOTH of us are displaced; and probably everyone else too."

"Yeah, Do you have any idea of how your...Equestria got sucked into this mess?

Applejack shook her head. "No... not that I can reca-"

Suddenly, memories are flooding back!

* * *

_Applejack was standing, somehow using a pitchfork with only her front hooves._

_Wasn't the job she'd hoped for that day, but with apples out of season, well, there weren't much else she could do except tend to the animals._

_A bright light shined in the back of her vision. It quickly grew, and consumed her vision entirely, throwing her into an abyss of light._

_That sounded wrong. End flashback._

* * *

"Actually... Eye do remember!"

"Really?" Arizona was rather shocked. She sort of expected this pony was unconscious, like her during the ordeal. "What was it, miz Applejack?"

"A giant ray a' light flew ova' me when Ah passed out! That musta been the cause!"

Arizona racked her brain, trying to recall her own experience.

* * *

_Arizona was in the middle of a bunch of test dummies, working out a few kinks in her combo game._

_Her loving family were all around her, simply minding their own business. She knew the predators would come. She knew that they were threatening the entirety of Foenum. And She. Would. Stop them._

_Except the giant ball of light expanding from the Woodla-_

* * *

"Yer right! There was a bunch laht that hit me too!"

"Yup, that brought us 'ere, alright," Applejack concluded.

"That means... That means that yew an' anyone else that got 'it by that laht'll be at risk a' the predators now!"

"Predators?" Wait, she didn't know what Predators- oh right. She wasn't from here. Arizona provided the closest explanation she could offer.

"Predators! Ghostly beins' that wanna see nuthin' but Foenum gettin' destroyed! They'll devour every single ungulate before Ah could say 'don't touch the cow.'"

Applejack turned her head downwards, whispering to herself. "Sounds like spirity timberwolves..."

"Pardon?" Applejack snapped out of her trance, shouting "Nuthin', Nuthin'! Just sumethin' we in Equestria hafta worry 'bout sometimes."

Arizona understood. "Ah. Okay. Er, I got a couple more questions fer ya, so mind steppin' in the cart? Pretty hot out here."

"Sure."

The cart was surprisingly spacious, even with all of the boxes of materials in it; enough for the two ungulates to stand comfortably in it.

Somewhat interestingly, Applejack stood on her hind legs for a few seconds to adjust her hat, before finding a box of flour to sit on.

"Alright. Oh, an' by the way, there's some water over thataway." She gestured with her horns towards the other side of the cart. "Well, now that we ken cool off a bit, mind explainin' what that...er... Element of Honesty is?" Arizona kindly asked.

Applejack obliged. "Sure! You wanna know about me an' the Elements, huh? Well, here's a little story fer ya. Ya see..."

* * *

Arizona listened intently to the story for fifteen minutes, not getting up for anything at all. It was surprisingly interesting, much more interesting than even the stories her pa told her. They way the leaders of Equestria wielded the elements, before it got passed down to Applejack and her friends, its powers, the Tree of Harmony, and the way that AJ and her friends now WERE the Elements. Of course, a couple of things struck her as strange, like how friendship could be used as an offensive magic, but considering how similar she and Applejack were, Arizona felt more than inclined to ask Applejack to help her and her land out.

However, when Applejack finished her story, she turned to Arizona once more and stated, "Well, that's about the gist of it. Now, before I head on out, I'd like to ask you something.

"Arizona, if is isn't too much to ask, could you help me out on this? You're a fine young cow, if Ah do say so mahself, and you're from this cross-over place. I could use yer assistance in more places than one."

Breaking in to a large grin, Arizona stomped both front legs down hard with conviction, quite nearly breaking the bottom of the cart. "Yeehaw! You've got yerself a deal, miz Applejack!"

AJ rubbed the back of her neck. "Aw, shucks, just call me Applejack! No need for formality among friends. We're goin to Ponyville, not far from 'ere."

"Alright, so when're we leaving, mi- Ah mean, Applejack?"

The rustic pony hopped out of the van. "in a bit. Gotta get to the barn. Just gotta get some supplies.

"Sure! What do ya have ta get?"

"Oh, some bags, some food, a lasso... Just the usual stuff."

The two mammals retread Applejack's steps to the barn.

Arizona was rather intrigued by it, having not really lived in one place at one time. Her family was always on the move, going wherever they could find greenery. These farmponies didn't have to worry about that at all.

Applejack ducked behind a short wall, where Arizona assumed she kept her bags and lasso. Finding a piece of rope on the ground, Arizona used her cloven hooves and mouth to work one end of the rope into its own lasso.

Applejack came in with her own lasso and bags on her back. Testing her lasso out, she nodded before coiling it up swiftly and hanging it from her neck. Arizona volunteered to carry her bags for them, which Applejack accepted.

  
  


GAINED THE KNAPSACK! _+2 Storage Space +4 Weight Standard pony travel pack. Magical artifacts not included._

  
  


"Alright, Arizona. Ready to say goodbye to yer family?" the orange pony asked.

Just finishing up with her new lasso, Arizona donned the Knapsack. "Yep."

Arizona went to where her parents were, in front of the carts. Applejack galloped over to the porch, where an older, green pony, large red stallion, and a yellow filly with a pink bow were sitting. Wait... Green pony? Arizona pushed the thought to the back of her head as she reached her mother, Minnesota, who was unsuccessfully trying to strike a conversation with the non-sentient cows on the farm.

And by reached, I mean she bumped into her mother's rear end. "Ope! Ari! There yew are!" Minnesota called out in mild surprise. "So, did you find the ungulate hanging around the carts back there?"

"Yup, it was a pony. She wasn't trying to steal anything though; just trying to figure out why we're here." Arizona responded.

Nodding, Minnie added, "Uh-huh. We were definitely not here earlier. Why're we here, and where exactly is here?" She motioned back towards the farmed cows. "These un's don't seem very talkative either."

"A giant beam a' laht hit us, and now we're crossed ovah with a place filled to the brim with ponies." the calf explained, adjusting her backpack.

"Oh?" Minnesota stood in thought for a minute or two before nodding. "I remember now. How do we get out of 'ere, if we even can?"

Answering, Arizona continued. "That's why Ah'm gonna go with one a' 'em ponies. She and 'er friends saved the place we're in now countless tahms, and she might know someone who ken 'elp us outta this mess. I came 'ere to say goodbye ta you before I... Before I..." Unexpectedly, Arizona let out a small sniffle of sadness. Minnie, sensing her calf's fear, threw a loving hoof around her shoulder, talking to her as only a mother could.

"It's alright. You know, when Ah left, to be with yer great trustin' lump of a father, I was jus' lahk yew, Ari. Young, and spry, I thought that nothin' wood be the same again. An' y'know? It never was. It was...er-" here she looked around nervously "-interestin' at the start, but over tahm, I started to love the kooky adventures our li'l troupe got on. If yer mama cahn do it, my little calf sure can!" She rubbed her other hoof roughly on the calf's head, leading to a couple of giggles from both parties. As well as the third party.

"'Ey!" Applejack called. "You ready ta head ta Ponyville?"

"Yup!" Arizona scrambled out of her mother's grip, quickly reaching Applejack.

"Heh. Come along, mama's calf!"

"D'aw, Applejack!"

But before they could leave the general area, Minnie called back to them with an air of concern in her tone. "Wait, hol' on! You're the pony Ari was talking about?"

AJ whipped around sharply to face Minnie. "Ah suppose so. Unless Ah take it she's talked to others?"

"Good! Now, I just wanted ta make sure she was goin' to be safe with you." Madison shook her head. "But unfortunately for yew, mah wurst fears were confirmed."

Applejack looked understandably shocked. "Wha-"

"Yoor'e meetin' all meye standards!" the cow concluded, breaking into a beaming smile. "Yer an 'onest mare, an' it shows! Ma Ari'll be fahn wi' you. An don't worry, Ah won't tell Dada, Ari!"

"Maaaaaa!"

She quickly ushered them out of range of the carts. "You two hurry 'long now, and save your worlds!"

"See ya!" "Bye, Miss!"

Minnasota waved them goodbye from the carts, until they were completely out of their line of sight. They had finally reached the gate of Sweet Apple Acres. Arizona looked at her companion, who was wearing a...sad expression?

"Somethin' wrong, Applejack? Hard goodbye to yer parents?"

"Huh? Who?!" AJ snapped out of something.

"Yer parents? Ya know, the green and red ponies, I presume?"

"Granny and Big Mac? Oh, they're not mah parents Not at all."

"Oh. Where are they, then?" Arizona naively asked.

Applejack seemed to look even more crestfallen. She slowed down to a stop, head facing the ground, hat drooping forwards at a ridiculous angle.

Arizona made a confused cow noise, then said, "Well, if you wanna talk, Ah'm right 'ere fer ya."

Applejack started to cry, just BARELY, but still loud enough to be heard by the calf. "Naw, that won't be necessary." Applejack stopped entirely, leaving the cow to stand next to her in confusion.

Starting to grow impatient with Applejack, Arizona came up with something SO CRAZY it just might help Applejack open up. "A'right, That's enough!" The cow took out her lasso, and deftly ensnared Applejack's legs, throwing her over her shoulder to the ground. Before she could respond, Arizona tied her legs up further, mimicking what she had seen her father do before, once.

"'Ey! Lemme outta 'ere!" Applejack yelled, as Arizona contemptuously sat down on her stomach.

"Heh, I ain't lettin' ya go 'till ya tell me what's ailin' ya."

Applejack struggled for about five more seconds, before sighing, adding, "Yer a shrewd character, Ari. But that's why I wanted ya with me. Ah'm proud to have met someone lahk yew."

Applejack let out her pains and fears onto Arizona, who listened empathetically. Yep, they were gonna make a great team!

* * *

Pen: Wait! We're still flying through the air! That orb was strong.

Blocky: Are we going up or down now?

Eraser: Doesn't matter. Hey! I see something green!

Pen: It must be the ground! We're getting outta h-

*WHUMP*

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Blocky: Oh, god my leg!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arizona is bby when with her mother, fite me.


	4. Roaming Excursions and Ravenous Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twilight and Oleander head towards a smaller base, and have some cool interactions on their way.

"*Grunt* *Pant* Where are these things?" Twilight exclaimed, now running on hooves due to the forest canopy overhead.

Twilight and Oleander were still on the run towards Oleander's...she didn't actually say what it was, but it was almost certainly going to be nothing but helpful. They had been going for a couple of hours now, and it was almost sunset in this crossover world.

Suddenly, Twilight realized that she wasn't controlling the sun's cycle. How did it move without magic? She wasn't complaining, as that would be pretty distracting while working with Oleander, but how did it move? She turned to ask Oleander about it, when she suddenly realized Oleander was no longer with her.

"Oleander? Where are you?"

Out of some underbrush, the dark unicorn popped out. Panting, she angrily suggested, "Could you mind slowing down, if only a bit?"

Wow, Twilight didn't even realize her companion was lagging behind. "Sorry. We were running neck and neck at the start, so I thought you could keep up."

"The only reason we were running neck and neck, was because you were PULLING me by my bloody neck and neck." She stretched her hind legs out a little while catching her breath. "Ugh... I should really start jogging more often... To keep up with you, at the very least... Do you do this often?"

"Uh... Kinda?" Twilight responded. "Only when doing, uh, tactical retreats."

"I never knew that saving the world would involve so much running..."

Twilight stopped. "Er, if you want a little break, would you mind explaining something about yourself to me?"

Oleander sat down ungracefully. "Sure. *gasp* What's your question?"

Twilight smiled courteously. "Yes, okay! Just one. Ahem..." Unexpectedly raising her voice almost accusingly, she roared loudly enough to echo, "WHY AND HOW ARE YOU WORKING WITH A DEMON-?!" Oleander gasped at seeing the normally calm Alicorn snap. Twilight quickly shut her mouth and apologized.

“I’m sorry for yelling, truly, I am. I’ve just had some bad experiences with dark magics and the sort.”

"Apology accepted.

“Oh, alright, I'll tell you. I've already told you part of it, but it seems that you require more clarification for my actions." Oleander cleared her throat while Twilight quickly calmed down from her outburst.

"Well, it's sort of a long story, so I'll try to keep it as focused as possible. So, as a unicorn, where I'm from, all Unicorns are trained under the Order of the Horn. This order prevents unicorns from ' **abusing** ' their magic for evil. This includes the usage of dark magic. Something in me didn't like the prospect of being barred from any magic; especially dark magic.

"Well, what do you know, that's where Fred comes in. He was... amazing. He changed my life. And I think I changed his. He gave me boundless power, magic I could only once dream of ever wielding. But, of course, the other unicorns were not going to be happy about this; I did all my practicing in secret.

"When I tried to rejoin my fellow unicorns for a yearly ritual, they noticed that I was using it. Because apparently, dark magic stains fur black. Should have definitely read the fine print there.

“What is important here is that they shunned me, and gave me the cruelest punishment their law was allowed to give. But, I still learned more. I used it for good. I have to show them that my magic can be used for good as well as it can be used for evil. The only reason they even tolerated me in the first place is because of who my great-grandmother is. I've been training for thirteen seasons for this." She finished, expression never having changed from when she started her rant.

"Do you understand, Twilight Sparkle?"

"Huh?" That caught her off guard. "Uh... yeah, sure! All magic has its goods and bads about it. I can't deny that, considering I experienced that first-hoof with time travel spells."

Oleander looked relieved. Huh. Though, Twilight supposed that if she had spent the past three-odd years being shunned by trying to show the good in something, and one of her own finally understood, she'd probably feel that way as well. Both of the unicorns, well, unicorn and former unicorn, sat for a couple more minutes in the relative silence of the night. After their moment passed, Twilight spoke first.

"Ah. That was a nice rest. So where is this...thing you mentioned?"

"Oh, not far. About fifteen minutes of WALKING from here."

"Sure thing," Twilight responded with a chuckle.

* * *

Finally! Someone understood what her motivation! As admittedly unconventional as learning the darkest magics were, it was so relieving to finally have someone who understood what she went through. Oleander had been thinking about Twilight since that moment. She spoke so... well. Even if she didn't exactly agree, judging by the tone of her voice, she still knew how to make her feel she convinced at least one ungulate. Perhaps Twilight could be a Princess of Friendship...

“Hmmm...ah! Here it is!” Oleander excitedly called. She had found the rock wall. Twilight soon came over. In front of her, was a rock with a strange, blue inscription on it that glowed. Putting her horn down on it revealed a door that opened up in the rock face in front of them.

Inside the cliff face was a rather large bunker Oleander had created herself; it was about as large as the atrium of the Ruins. Just in case anything went wrong; her house was taken over for example. She kept her important things here. Like her crayons.

It was quite homely, in fact. There were less cobwebs in here than in her own home, so that was something. On the opposite side of the door was a large bookshelf, containing mostly combat related spells and notes on Predators. To the right was a small kitchen area, and to the left a place where supplies and rations could be easily kept and, of course, a bookshelf from all eras of unicorn history.

In the center of it all, a large wooden table sat; large enough to seat twenty or so entities.

Twilight sat down on one of the chairs while Oleander checked around in her records, hoping to find more to explain to Twilight.

Absentmindedly, Oleander asked from her place at the bookshelf, “So, could you tell me some more about yourself, Twilight?”

She suddenly realized her mistake as she covered her mouth with one of her hooves.

Too late anyways; Twilight’s eyes are dilating again.

The purple alicorn avidly explained, with great detail, all of the adventures she and her friends had gone as Oleander stopped her searching to brew some coffee for them. From reforming a 1000 year old deity to trapping a Lord of chaos, to defending against invasions to defeating a magic stealer, it seemed that her and her friends had done it all. All with this magic of friendship...

Hmmm... how to use this knowledge to her benefit... more power was always good, right?

The dark sorceress was ultimately confused and perhaps skeptical about this entire thing, but considering all the things her and her own dimension went through, she didn’t rule anything out of truth.

“So, because of all of this, you were sworn in as ruler of Equestria due to an ‘early’ retirement?”

“Yes! That’s it! My friends and I visit every week or so to discuss things as friends.” She stopped a moment to sip some of her coffee. “Before we got sucked into this mess, I was at the Castle to visit Starlight because of, ah, professional reasons- turned casual reasons- turned... uh... dimensional reasons.”

Okay, that didn’t sound like a lie. Oleander quickly went back to work as Twilight continued with other events she partook in.

After rummaging around in both her supplies and bookshelves and picking what she saw fit for travel, Oleander seemed satisfied. “Twilight, do you mind carrying some supplies?”

“Huh?” Twilight asked as she removed her hoof from her nose.

Oleander repeated herself. “I asked if you could carry our supplies.”

Twilight seemed up to the job. “Sure! What do you want me to carry?”

Olly held up a small backpack filled with books and scrolls. “Just this.”

GAINED THE BOOKBAG! _+1 Comfort +4 Storage Space Self-explanatory backpack. Feel the weight of your books crawling on your back._

“So, are we ready to go, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Almost.” She picked up a single tiara from the storage area with her magic. “Uh... do you mind if I bring this?”

“Well, it would be better to travel light, but I suppose so. Why?”

“It’s just kinda important to me.” Leaving it at that, Twilight picked up the crown and placed it on her head.

GAINED TIARA! _+4 Season +5 Regality Twilight‘s original tiara, now with 40% more Sparkle!_

“So, now that I’ve explained my history, could you explain a BIT more about the Predators?”

Oleander obliged. “Why certainly. For starters, take a look at this drawing I made. Nowifyouseehere- ⏩FF

* * *

"Ugh, this is so boring. Skip all of this. We've heard this all before."

_Only if they read the book of lore or completed story mode. Wait, Discord, are you sure you should do this?_

"What? It's fine! The author should thank me for this. I'm removing the padding. Besides, my gut says that they talk like this for at least ten minutes. I want to see those 'objects,' or whatever they are again."

_Okay, you do you. Just don’t cross a line, or you could get banned or something._

“Oh, pish-posh. He wouldn’t remove ME for even a chapter.”

* * *

“And so, Fred seems to know the most about the predators, so that’s another reason I’m working with him.” She looked behind Twilight to check the time. “Hm...it appears to be nighttime now. The moon says it is not quite midnight yet...”

Twilight turned around as well. “Yep. We should really start heading back to the castle now.” The unicorns stepped out of the bunker, Oleander closing the magical stone door behind her.

An eerie howl echoed in the dark breezy night. A few shivers ran down Twi’s spine as it rang out.

Oleander was immediately on guard, striking a pose, eyes darting too and fro to check for any danger. Suddenly realizing what the howl likely meant, Twilight also took up a defensive stance.

From inside the bushes nearby, a few leaves rustled. Suddenly, two red, ghostly wolves jumped out!

With little to no time to prepare, Oleander and Twilight were in for their first battle...

**Ready?**

**Fight!**

The first wolf quickly lunged at Twilight. With little to no time to prepare anything else, she did the only thing her brain could think of at the time. She pulled the bag of books off her back and hit him hard with it.

The second wolf instead headed for Oleander, who quickly remembered she didn’t have Fred with her. “Oh, I knew I should have brought him with me...” With options limited, she stayed on guard, holding a different book in front of her, protecting her from the wolf’s claws.

If you’re wondering, it’s _Twilight._

Twilight zapped her wolf with lightning magic, throwing him back hard. Fortunately for her, she gained a bit of ground as she did so.

Oleander didn’t fare as well with hers. For all her knowledge of dark magic, she NEEDED Fred with her! The wolf finally got past her book with a low sweep, then knocked her away with a hind leg kick. Quickly regaining her footing, Oleander retaliated with a shadow spark and a small burst of magic, which lay on the ground.

The first wolf charged at Twilight again, the latter of which simply put up a magical barrier, then attacked with her bag again and again, not letting up.

Oleander’s wolf dodged the projectile with a well timed jump, only to land right in the trap. Angrily recovering, it mad a mad dash towards Oleander. She guarded again, but to no avail, as the wolf grabbed her with its gaping maw.

Twilight had finally taken care of the first wolf. It disappeared into a puff of smoke as she whacked its body to its breaking point. Turning to see how Oleander was faring, she saw the dark sorceress in the wolf’s clutches! Gasping angrily, Twilight shot a single, strong beam forwards from her horn.

It hit true. Wolf No. 2 was now laying on the ground, stunned. Getting up, Oleander finished him off with a double stomp on his exposed gut. It too, disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

“Is that it?” the cloven unicorn asked.

Almost on cue, certain red wisps of magic flew around some twigs, rocks, and leaves. In a mere matter of milliseconds, a perfect wooden replica of a wolf with a red aura was standing in front of them, twice as tall as Oleander. It snarled and unsheathed it’s stony claws, before crouching down in front.

“What’s that?” Oleander quickly shouted to her teammate.

“A Timberwolf! A wooden hull of a wolf that almost killed some of my friends before!” Twilight’s horn flared up with magic. “Let’s take this guy out!”

The Timberwolf headed for Twilight first, raking its claws on her side. She screamed out loud, causing Oleander to act faster.

Oleander ran up to the larger wolf and retaliated with a stab of her own horns to a spot that seemed weaker then the rest, then a short magic blast to his face, causing him to shift his attention from Twilight.

Turning to face her, he roughly grabbed Oleander’s body in his mouth and threw her a large distance against an oak tree, knocking the wind from her. The large wolf lumbered over to his prey, mouth salivating with gusto as the unicorn lay there unmoving.

Twilight was quite suddenly back on her feet. She flew upwards and shot a single shot from her horn at the leafy lupine’s head. That gave her just the distraction she needed. She quickly swooped down and swept out the wolf’s legs from underneath him, knocking it to the ground.

Oleander stood up, slowly. She dashed towards the Timberwolf before it could react, and shot a large fireball out of her horn to finish it off.

The cedar canine’s jaw quickly turned into ash; writhing in pain as sparks and small chunks of wood flew from its smoky mouth. Then, silence and stillness.

It attempted to snarl again, but only let out a noise of pain as its mouth completely disintegrated. Thinking quickly, Twilight took a page out of Spike’s book, using the same tactic he used before.

Choking.

Twilight kicked a rock upwards, then caught it with her magic. Then, she fired a straight shot straight down his exposed throat.

This time, the Timberwolf had finally seemed to have run its course. If it could gag, it likely would have, if not for the rock blocking his windpipe. He attempted to attack someone, ANYONE in range, but was quite easily pinned down by Oleander’s magic as he slowly suffocated.

**It’s Over!**

Both of the unicorns were winded after the battle, but not badly hurt. Twilight turned to Oleander, exclaiming, “We did it! They’re gone!”

Oleander shook her head. “They’ll be back. That was only the start. More reason to get to the castle, get Fred, and find your friends. Are the supplies alright?”

Twilight checked their supplies. The bag was slightly damaged, but everything inside was intact. “All good!”

Oleander sat down to catch her breath. “Alright. Just give me a little bit, then we can head back to the castle.”

Twilight sat down in front of her. “Right behind you. Heh. In a place like this, you really have to watch your back, don’t you?”

The two sat for a few minutes before silently slipping off into the night, each both silently hoping they wouldn’t have to see any more predators that night.

* * *

Pen: You alright?!

Blocky: Yep. Just said that for dramatic effect.

Eraser: Well, now we're somewhere else, with no sense of direction. What do we do now?

Pen: Hmmm... How about we stay at that house over there? We can regroup and try to figure out where we are!

Blocky: Yeah! Sounds like a good plan. Let's go.

*Walking*

Pen: Yep. Looks abandoned enough.

Eraser: Ugh, the door is locked! Grr! And this fake key isn't helping either!

| **Throw away which item?** |

|------->Fake Key<\---------|

|_________Yoyleberry___________|

|_________Arm Cutter__________|

|_________Maroon Ball__________|

|____Half a Pair of Scissors_____|

|_________Win Token x2________|

**Eraser threw away the Fake Key.**

Blocky: Now what?

Pen: Huh. Hmm... If only we had something sturdy and cylindrical to bash the door open with, like a battering ram.

Eraser: Yeah, if only.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


*SMASH*

Pen: Ow... Remind me never to suggest anything ever again, guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Velvet's totally next. I just kinda want to balance things out between anyone I want to introduce.
> 
> Slightly lower quality, but still pretty good if I do say so myself.


	5. The Regal Courtier and the Reine Champion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rarity and Velvet have a tiff, then a spa.

"Mmmphhh..." Rarity had been taking a nap in some of her silken ribbons. Smacking her lips together, she slowly came to.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" In typical Rarity fashion, the pony flailed all four of her hooves around in every direction, somehow untangling herself from the cyan ribbons as she did so.

Rarity gasped for air, trying to make head or tail of what just happened. She couldn't have fallen asleep on the job, could she have? She had about twelve cups of coffee before she started work on the order of twelve blue-purple gowns with a gem imbued sash! There was no way!

She looked around again, the blue streamers falling everywhere. Other than the fact there were now ribbons all over the floor, nothing was different. However, Rarity noticed that none of the twelve mannequins had any sort of fabric on it, meaning she had passed out before she even started! "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed again, checking the time as she did so. Still had the rest of today and likely the next two to complete them. Totally doable! Just need... MORE COFFEE!

Looking around for her measurements, she noticed a few things off. A few spools tipped over, a stool out of place, corkboard less cluttered. But that didn't matter now, all that did were MEASUREMENTS.

Ah! There they were! All...onetwothreefourfivetenTWELVE of them! Okay! Horn lighting up in its sky blue colors, Rarity quickly gathered all of the materials required for the gowns, checking each one off on a fancy clipboard.

"Okay! Sewing machine... check! Fabrics, Saddle Arabian Blue? ...Check! Blue ribbons... check! Mannequins, one through twelve... check! Good! Now all I need are the gemstones! Now where- Ah!"

She trotted over to a set of storage drawers and opened one of them, which had several "No Spike" signs on the front. What? A dragon's gotta eat something.

Oh, no! She checked again. Oh, NO! All of her ice blue diamonds had gone missing! At first she chalked it down to Spike again, but then she realized Spike had been at the Castle of Friendship for the past couple of days. That was ruled out with definate certainty. Starting to work herself into a panic again, she checked all of the other drawers. Rubies, emeralds, amethyst, demantoid garnet, opal, all there, but no diamonds!

She even checked her collection of less ordered rocks. Feldspar, unakite, coral, kunzite, uvarovite For the third time in seven minutes, Rarity screamed, this time adding in several of pony profanities in for good manners.

She sucked in about three liters of air. Ugh! "I need to cool off..." Ah! When there's something strange in your diamond drawer, who you gonna call? "Lotus and Aloe's Spa treatment! Yes!"

She cut the fabric needed for the sashes and dresses in record time, every stitch and thread looking FABULOUS as always. All she needed were the diamonds, but of course that could wait until AFTER her spa.

Rarity rummaged around in her closet, and found a cream-colored dress with a pink sash. She also picked up floral style hat from a hat stand nearby. With a few poofs of blush, Rarity stood in front of the door and loudly announced, "Ready or not, spa treatment, here I come!"

She opened her front door, where she was immediately hit by a blast of frigid air. She gasped at the feeling of the dry cold on her fur. Another gust of wind picked up, deftly knocking the unicorn back into the main room, knocking hat, makeup, and the wind from Rarity.

What?! It was the middle of the summer, for Twilight's sake! Didn't matter, she had to get to that spa! Yes, it was absolutely crucial!

Checking her closet again, she looked for something suitable to wear. Unfortunately, all of her clothes seemed... outdated. Ugh! Purple? What was she thinking then? She checked around a little more. An ugly yellow poncho, a frivolous navy jacket with FAR too many frills for what it was worth, a lackluster bleugh-brown parka, couldn't ANYTHING suit her tastes?

Wait! What was that? In the back of the closet was a blue hoodie, with a cute little poofy neck liner! Suitable, if not just SLIGHTLY bland. Easily fixable, but not for now, Spa-a-a-a ti-i-i-i-ime!

GAINED BLUE HOODIE! _+2 Reference Points +100% Puns +137 Hotdogs Maybe it's the way you're dressed?_

Donning the blue hoodie, Rarity confidently hoofed it out the door one more. Quite the unusual day, but nothing a hooficure at the spa couldn't fix! Her day finally starting to turn around, Rarity giddily skipped towards her usual massage givers, hardly noticing several landmarks in Ponyville had been replaced with much more...reindeerish varieties.

* * *

Velvet had noticed them. As soon as she walked out her door in the morning, she had noticed quite quickly that the perfect statue of herself in the center of Town Square had been removed and replaced by a statue of two pegasi, two unicorns, and two ponies. All of which looked inferior to her, of course, but that was beside the point.

Wait, ponies?

She looked around. All around her, she saw ponies. Sure, there were still reindeer, but the number of ponies there rivaled, no, basically equaled that of the superior ungulate's.

Ugh, these wretched horse want-to-be's, in Reine? What was the meaning of this? Velvet had never seen an influx of new immigrants like this!

Finding a yellow and orange pegasus sitting at a coffee table reading a newspaper, Velvet promptly elected herself as the first reindeer to make contact with one of these new inhabitants.

The pony glanced at her, then looked back at her newspaper again. "Any orders, reindeer? I've had at least three try to boss me around earlier today."

Okay, scratch "first reindeer." Velvet still got straight to the point. "Vat? No! I chust vant to know vy all zeze...ponies are in Reine now."

The yellow pony spat back at her. "Reine? Ha! In your dreams, missy! This 'ere's Ponyville! I got no idea where your head's been, rookie."

Somehow, Velvet managed to rein in her temper. Coolly, she clarified, "No, zis is definadely Reine." She coyly shifted her legs. "'As zomezing happened to your 'ead? Perhaps you did not eat. You're looking peckish."

The pegasus slammed down her newspaper with anger. "Oh, are you saying something about my eating habits?"

"Vy, yes, of course! I wouldn't like to zee ze pony I am guestioning zdarve to death, now vould I?" taunted Velvet.

"Questioning?" The pony stood up from where she was sitting. "You're gonna question me? Not without a fight you ain't, rookie!" The pony launched herself forwards at Velvet, who coolly sidestepped her.

With one final taunt, Velvet got ready. "Do I haffe to? I just shined mie floof! And I gave my sprites zhe week off..."

"Enough talking, are you going to fight, or not, pretty girl?"

"Oh, but uv course! I wuz just zaying. Chust one ACTUAL question."

"Ugh, what?"

"Vhat's a 'girl?'"

"Uh... I don't have any idea."

**Ready?**

**Fight!**

Spitfire launched herself at Velvet, hoof outstretched in a punch. Velvet shrugged it off with a simple block. Again, Spitfire came, throwing two hooks and a jab, all of which were also nullified.

"So, are you going to fight or just stay b-?"

A white circle appeared under Spitfire. It grew in size vertically, spinning itself into an icy tornado. Spitfire was completely consumed by it.

Velvet, on the other hand, was looking in all directions for an audience. Finding none awake in still-early day to show her glamour off to, she halted the battle and the tornado, leaving only her and a deep-frozen Spitfire in the street.

**It’s over!**

Velvet walked over to the Spitfire statue, and spat on it. "ZAT vill teach you NOT to fight a lady!"

Walking away contemptuously, Velvet noticed a few more odd things. More houses than usual, more pony statues, things... not in Reine. Strange. But, not all things were changed. For one, a very familiar voice was calling out to her from a small shop.

"Velvet! Hello!"

Velvet ambled over to her cousin. "Hello to you, as vell, Cashmere!"

"How's it going?"

Velvet shook one hoof to and fro. "Eh... could be better. A pony tried to fight me, but I took care of her."

"You fought an ungulate?" Cashmere seemed quite shocked; rightfully so, due to Velvet's status.

"Vat?" Velvet exclaimed, defensively. "She vanted to! She hit ME first."

"Well, alright, cousin. I'll believe you. Just uhhh... try not to fight any more ungulates, ponies or not, okay, deer?" Cashmere asked.

"Yes, uv course. Good day!"

Conversation abruptly over, Velvet continued on her way and thought about these strange occurrences more, while Cashmere pulled out some of her chests of hats to set up her shop for the day.

Yes, perhaps that pegasus was right. This was not the Reine she knew and loved. Several more houses that looked inferior, some ponies flying around and conversing, a few more statues that looked nothing like anything she had seen, let alone imagined. Even some of the Elite 7 seemed to be intrigued; Comet seemed to be striking up a conversation well with a pony with a... chelloh? Right, cello. Whatever.

Let's see... Now that her first witness was frozen solid, who else could she ask for information? She looked around for anyone else she could cajole into telling her what happened.

Ah! How about her? Yes, the white one. With the luxurious curly purple mane and stupi-looking sweater. Didn't she know about the cold?

"Ah! Hello! Could you help me wiz zomezing, deer?"

"Mmm? Moi?" The white and purple unicorn pointed a hoof at herself. Not seeing anything against her thought, she trotted over to the reindeer. "Do you need anything?"

"Yes, in fact I do! First, could you tell me your name?"

"I am Rarity, seamstress and Element of Generosity. Now, darling, I suppose you have more questions than that, no? Hm... Though that floof... quite charming indeed, but how do you manage to keep it clean?"

"Ah, my sprites do zat. Your mane looks razer nice as vell! I loffe zee curls."

"Thank you! I've spent simply hours on them! Hours!" She ran a hoof through them, tossing them into a more appropriate angle. "Quite fashionable, as compared to your, ahem, simply charming, floof."

Shouldn't have said that. Should NOT have said that.

Velvet dumped her nice façade quicker than she dumped her last buckfriend. "Du? Better then, ich? Ha! Vu look like ein bag of poofy marschmallovs tied togezer vith ein filthy purple ribbon!"

This 'Rarity' was taken completely aback, gasping loudly and shooting off a retort of her own. "Well, if that's the way you want to play it, Y-YOU look like the mop that misfit Rudolph uses after he cleans up after the others' reindeer games!"

That... broke down quickly.

"Inbecible! No one talks to ze ice queen like zat! You should watch your mouth in the presence of ME."

"Oh, really? Well your mouth should be washed out. No, wait, that's an understatement. It should be purged by Celestia's flames!"

At this point, several ponies and reindeer circled around the ladies as they continued their tirade of insults. At least this time, Velvet was bound by promise. They circled each other, getting up closer with each scarring mark.

"Your tail is az thin as a lutefisk's!"

"Your floof is as thin as your insults!"

"Your mane looks like a clump of a dragon's facial hair!"

"Obviously not, you were clearly blinded by the curls! Unlike your BORING antlers. You should get them filed down. To nothing; maybe then you'll look like a lady."

Quite too soon for part of the audience, the two females were standing muzzle to muzzle, both frothing at each other. Then they both took a deep breath, gathering their energy, before screaming as loudly as they could at each other.

With whatever they wanted to say done, they both walked away from each other, each in their own respective directions, heads high, neither turning to look back at the other.

"Aw, come on! No fight?!" The crowd glared at the small colt who yelled at the walking ungulates.

* * *

After a while, Rarity finally regained her senses. What was she thinking, insulting that reindeer like that? So much for “generosity,” if that even applied here. Did it apply? No matter, what she did was wrong, and nothing could change that.

This was the most sincere regret she had felt yet. For some reason or another, she felt some unnatural attachment to the fluffy reindeer, self-absorbed as she was. Those WERE some good insults.

A couple of minutes later, she found another reindeer. She looked shockingly similar to the one she just passed. She wore a pair of glasses, a small apron, a green silken scarf, and a cheerful demeanor. Not finding much else to do, and perhaps to find how to speak to these new inhabitants, Rarity decided to strike a conversation with her.

“Hello! Welcome to the Cap ‘n’ Cash! My name is Cashmere. Cap is out sick today, poor thing. How may I help you?”

Rarity nodded. “Yes, I need help with someone. I... sort of made them upset.”

Cashmere looked at Rarity strangely. “Hmmm... you seem familiar." She brought her voice down low, but a few scattered statements regarding hair, demeanor, and behavior were audible. Eventually, the reindeer asked, "Have you met my cousin?”

“Your cousin?”

“Yes. She’s regal, charming, and has a fine selection of hair, just like you do.” Cashmere said, opening up a chest with a tinfoil hat inside. “Velvet. Call this a long shot, but was she the one you angered?”

“Yes! That was her, I think.”

“Oh, Velvet’s really something else. She even told me she beat up a different pony earlier! Tell you what, I’ll help you apologize since you seem so nice.”

“Really?!” That was the last thing she was expecting this reindeer to say. “You mean it?”

“Of course, deer!” she said, slightly beaming. “I have a feeling you two would get along.“

A new friendship and a burden off her chest? Yes! “Absolutely! Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I’ll make it up to you. Right now!”

Cashmere looked skeptical. “How so, deer?”

“Like this!” Holding the tinfoil cap with her magic, she quickly folded it into a very stylish, shiny fedora. “Voila! A perfect hat! Mind you, it won't reflect alien beams as well, but it looks so much more fashionable, wouldn't you say?" Rarity turned to the other chests in front. "Would you like me to do more to the rest of your stock?”

Cashmere looked awestruck. Stammering out a reply, she finished, “No, that won’t be necessary. In fact, that was so good, I’ll let you keep that one. Consider it a gift.”

GAINED TINFEDORA! _+10 Shiny +100 FABULOUS!!! Screams style, by yours truly!_

“Right. Now to find Velvet.”

* * *

Velvet was thinking something similar. Quite the interesting...pony, for sure. The only one who dare match her in hair selection; the curls weren't out of season at all. Quite the repertoire of insults ready at the waiting as well. Hmmm...

“Velvet! Velvet!”

“Vat?!”

Rarity?! Didn’t she learn her lesson from earlier? "No touchy!" Velvet quickly conjured a few icicles in the air, pointing them threateningly at an alarmed Rarity.

The white unicorn held up both hooves. “Wait! I... wanted to apologize. For what happened earlier. I really shouldn’t have insulted you like that.”

Ugh, same old, same old- wait a second, was that Cashmere?

“Yes, I’m here!” her cousin announced. “I’m just staying here to make sure nothing goes wrong while you make up with each other.”

Wait, wha-

**Cashmere: Hangout...begin!**

Rarity: I’ve already said I’m sorry. There’s no need for me to say anything more!

Velvet: You should be. Vy inzult berfegtion?

Rarity: Yes, of course. Just one teensy question for you, darling. Why are there reindeer here in Ponyville? There weren’t before.

Velvet: Vy are there ponies in Reine? Zat’s ze question I vas going to ask you earlier.

Rarity: Oh, no. Something happened. This can’t be right. This can't have happened naturally, could it?

Velvet: Agreed! How could zis happen?

Cashmere: Well... if I remember correctly, Cap said something this morning about a seizure warning? At first I thought he was talking about one of my rainbow shirts, but he clearly said it was in the sky.

Rarity: That sounds... familiar. Quite familiar, actually!

Velvet: Zat sounds like ze reason... but how do we know for sure?

Rarity: Well, if there’s one person who should know what caused that, it’s definitely Twilight. She’s already probably figured it all out by now.

Velvet: Who?

Rarity: Twilight Sparkle. Ruler of Equestria, and best friend! All I have to do is find her.

Velvet: Very vell. I vill help you on your quest, especially with... ZEM on ze loose.

Cashmere: Good. Are we done here? Anything else you want to add?

R&V: Why, yes we're done. Of course.

**Hangout...end!**

With new ally in hoof, Velvet asked, "Vell? Vat shall ve do to break ze ice?"

For Rarity, that answer was obvious. “It’s spa time!”

Velvet had never had a full on spa before, so she gladly accepted the offer.

Curls to floof, the two ungulates headed towards where Rarity could only hope were Lotus and Aloe’s Ponyville Spa. Cashmere stayed behind and watched them leave before heading back to her shop.

“I’m sure they’ll get along fine.”

“...”

“I just jinxed it, didn’t I?”

* * *

Blocky: Well, now that we're in here, we should try to find things that could help us.

Eraser: Like that diagram of a unicorn?

Blocky: No, not like that diagram of a unicorn. Wait. Look at those books!

Pen: Well, don't just stand there, open one of them! Maybe they can help us!

Blocky: Eh, not much. Some sort of spellbook? Take a look at this one!

Pen: I'll bite! Here goes!

Eraser: Nowaitwaitwaitwait-

*poof*

Eraser: Ah! Where are we now?

Pen: Some sort of tailor shop?

Blocky: Hey! Look at those dresses!

Pen: And an order form. Twelve purple dresses with diamonds? Huh.

Eraser: Well, I think I know what to do.

Pen: I’ll try to find the diamonds. You two, do you know how to sow?


	6. Dangerous Cracks, Deep Caverns, and Dress Crafters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Applejack and Arizona complete Chapter 1.

"I hate this show's plot! The TV guide says absolutely NOTHING about when Fluttershy shows up."

_..._

_Discord, do you have any idea what a TV guide even does in the first place?_

"Of course! Where I come from, it gives a detailed analysis of every single episode, not just one or two sentences about each episode at maximum."

_How did you even survive, coming here? Just... keep watching._

"Hmmm... the timing keeps bouncing around. It looks like this one starts JUST before those unicorns went on their quest to the cave..."

* * *

"...An' THAT's how I became the Champeen a' the Prairie." Arizona concluded.

Arizona and Applejack had been walking for a few hours. Nothing out of the ordinary for either of them, though.

"Sounds perfectly reasonable. Jus' one question. Wah don't the Key Seekers work togethah'? Strength in numbah's, right?"

Shrugging the best she could, Arizona replied, "Well, I'm not opposed to the idea of the Key Seekah's workin' togethah, but rules 'r' rules, and there's nuthin' we ken do to change 'em raht now."

Fair enough. Applejack looked on ahead. "Ponyville was ne'er this far out. Whah do you think it is noaw?"

Arizona readjusted the Knapsack on her back with a slight toss of her head. "Well... In MAH world, this is the path towards Reine. A city filled to the brim with the stuck-up likes of the Reindeer. Eh, if what you told me about Ponyville is true, then it pro'lly joined up with it. Either way, it should be JUSS- Whut in tarnation?"

In front of them, a massive ravine had appeared from in between two large sand pillars. There were two posts on either side of it, implying there was a bridge at some point, but it was out, for one reason or another.

Applejack stared into the ravine in disbelief. "Seriously? We came over here, just fer this ta happen?"

"Ah jus' don't believe it... Whut 'appened?" Arizona said, crouching down low.

"Oh, the bridge is out, ya know? Shoulda' seen you ova' there. Thought I heard hooves a' comin'."

The two cowgirls turned to look at the new voice, which had come from behind them. "Aw, now don't be shy now. Would be nice to have some company!"

A cow walked out from behind another wagon, which the two had just noticed. "I'm Madison. Nice ta meetcha'!"

Seemed nice enough. "Howdy, Madison! Name's Arizona!" "An' mine's Applejack."

Madison winked at them. "Well, aren't you all jus' bundles of joy!" Lightly lowering her voice, she added, "I also saw that you, uh, know yer way 'round the canyon. Saw you come the SECRET way."

AJ and AZ shared a proud glance between each other. It was rather strange, the blue marking on the stone, the cliffside jump, but they had a vague understanding of how it possibly worked.

"Aw, don't worry 'bout it none. We ain't gonna talk 'bout it to anypony." Applejack responded.

Maddie nodded. "Good. Say now... Aren't you one of Minnie's calfs? Thought I recognized yer momma's poofy hair as sure as the sun shines! What'cha doin' out here with yer friend?"

[Need ta be on my way... ]  
[> How do I get to Reine City?]

"Well hol' up! Fastest way forward is over this 'ere gap, but... ya know. I'm waitin' for the pronghorns ta come by and fix the bridge. Just a day or two more."

Arizona sat down dejectedly. "Dangit all! Now what?"

Applejack, on the other hoof, piped up. "We NEED ta get to Ponyville! Er... Reine? Er... you know what Ah'm sayin'?"

"Hey, no need to fret! We'll figure something out." Madison mooed, staying optimistic. "Worry like that, and you'll end up with more wrinkles than a raisin by the time you're my age."

"Yeah, you're right! There's gotta be another way past, er, barrin' jumpin'," Applejack said.

"I dunno 'bout that... unless you count the tunnel..."

"Tunnel?" Arizona leapt up back onto her feet. "What's the deal with the tunnel?"

Madison hesitated for a split second before giving an explanation. "Oh, them? Well, it's an old salt mine that goes through the canyon. Used ta be the Reine Deerfolk would hire us Cattlekind to work 'a cut 'a what we mined."

"Salt?" Applejack turned to Arizona. "Is that yer currency here, or somethin'?" Arizona nodded.

Madison continued. "Either way, there was some kind of disagreement, and the whole place shut down. Probably still some salt left too."

"Well, straight through the canyon? Yeehaw!" Arizona shouted to the sky.

"That's the shortcut of shortcuts, there," Applejack agreed.

"Wha? Did you two drink cactus juice for breakfast or somethin'?! Decent folk jus' don't go there anymore! Could be some other beasties live down there, or maybe the rocks are all collapsed..."

"Hmmm...Well..." Arizona decided to try a different tactic. "You're headed to Reine city too?"

The older cow perked up. "Oh, sure! I make this trip all the time! Was headed there to sell some grain and milk. Ever since the decree went out, they're buying as much as they can get! I tell ya that Deerfolk city ain't nuthin' but a slum'a snoot-bags... but they're practically giving away their salt. Times are what they are. What kinda business d'ya have there, Equid?"

[Who, me? ]  
[>Tryin' ta' find a friend.]

"Ah'm tryin' ta find a friend over in, uh, Reine. Pretty sure she's there, at least.

"A friend, huh? Well... I suppose that's a fair claim. Whut does he look like?"

"Er... a she, actually. She's another pony, but she's purpler than a grape in the garden, an' has wings an' a horn. Couldn't miss 'er." Applejack provided. Notably, Madison looked skeptical about all of this, but that was probably normal behavior for her. Especially in badlands like this. Applejack continued. "Well, sure I'm gonna run inta' her sooner or later..."

Madison seemed understanding. "An what about yew, Ari?"

"I'm after the legendary key! I'm gonna find that on' thing, lock up em' sharp-toothed critters crawlin' about, an' save the world! Jus' like the stories!"

Madison eyed her slantedly, then asked "Yer parents know where y'are?"

...

"Could I just step over that edge there for a sec?"

"Now, now," Madison laughed. "No need to fuss. Meant no offense. You just seem a little young to be runnin' around lookin' for trouble like that."

"Hrmff."

"Tell ya what. Why doncha' set up camp here with me? Might be somebody'll come by in the mornin' ta fix the bridge."

[> Sure, why not? ]  
[Wanna look around a little more...]  
[BUT THOU MUST ]

"Ah agree with Ari. Don't see any harm in spendin' the night here." Applejack agreed.

Madison winked again. "It's a sleepover! I'll get ya set up."

* * *

_Approximately two hours later, when Twilight reached the cave_

Both Applejack and Arizona were sitting next to the fireplace that Madison generously set up for them.

Applejack was silently dozing off, head down and eyes closed, but Arizona was quite nearly wide awake. Sighing contentedly, she whispered to herself, "Champe'en of the Prairie, and helping a new friend untangle this mess. I'm WAY to excided ta sleep." She looked over the chasm again. "Goshdarn broken bridge... I'm two trots away from tryin' that tunnel."

Arizona stood up slowly and walked behind Maddie's cart. Suddenly, she heard a noise from above herself. Didn't sound like anything she heard before. Almost like an eerie wind. A few chills ran down her spine. Finding the courage to look up, she saw... a Predator. Dropping all silence, she shouted, "Hey! You're-"

Before she could say any more, the wolf ran into the abandoned mineshaft, disappearing from the light of the lanterns.

Creeping up near the entrance, Arizona listened for any sign of the wolf. Nothing. "No way... They're already here?"

Making up her mind, the brave calf entered the dark tunnel in front of her. Almost. "Psst. Applejack!"

"Mmm...wha? Whozat?" The farmpony jumped up quickly. "Oh It's you, Ari. What's goin' on?"

"Saw a wolf. Headed into the tunnel. Wanna get 'im?"

AJ stretched her legs. "Well, sure. Jus' gimme a moment... There we go."

Both of them suddenly looked at a piece of bread sitting next to the fireplace.

...

GAINED BREAD LOAF! _+24 Slices u lik'd the bred_

GAINED SLIGHT REGRET! _-2 Happiness Not the best of choices..._

"So, yew ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

They walked into the cave, where they saw a wolf sitting long at the other side of the tunnel. Suddenly, he looked up and turned tail on them, heading down the tunnel further.

"Gi'back'ere!"

Applejack was leading, being the older of the two. But not by much. Arizona was right behind her. They turned to the right, trying not to knock into the walls. Quite suddenly, before them was a treasure chest behind a chasm, elevated several meters in the air. To their left, was another mineshaft.

"What's that doin' up there, Ari?"

Arizona shook her head. "I dunno. Why anyone would jus' leave somethin' like that 'fore leavin' is beyond me. Can't reach it anywho; if we use our lassos, it'll fall down into that hole there faster 'n a pig in a poke. Sure we'll come 'cross it again eventually."

They headed towards the left, reaching a tiny stretch that branched off. They all met up again at one point, thanks in part due to this entire structure being engineered. Strangely, the next part was not straight at all. It turned to the left first and led into a small stony room, before turning back to the right again.

Applejack stepped into the cul-de-sac first, Arizona right behind her. "Ne'er thought we'd be doin' the huntin', eh, Applejack?

"True, that Ari! Where'd 'e go-"

Suddenly, two wolves came on either end of the cul-de-sac, blocking off both exits.

Arizona stared at them. "oh..."

**Fight!**

The two wolves charged at the bovine first, sensing something greater from her. They were right. Just before they came upon her, she slammed her forehooves into the ground so hard, the floor shook. Both wolves were thrown up into the air, quite nearly hitting the ceiling, before crashing back down.

One of them ungracefully hit the ground, while the other one was roped in by Applejack, who showed no mercy to it, kicking it over and over again.

Arizona was doing something similar to her wolf, flinging it higher into the air, before finishing it of with a few clean hits on its midriff.

Bothwolves were in critical condition, but that would just get worse, as both of them were thrashed against the wall, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

**It's over!**

"AN' GOOD RIDDANCE!" Arizona mooed, snorting angrily. She turned to her companion. "Are you okay?"

AJ checked herself. "Alright. That was some stunt you pulled, there. Where'd you learn somethin' like that?"

"It was my pa! Always told me to try mah own style of fightin'." Turning back towards the new path, she hung her head, whispering, "I understand now, Pa. But I can't jus' let these monsters run free in Foenum again... Gotta keep figntin'! Everyone's countin' on me! And Applejack and 'er friends, too! Can't let 'em down."

The path led to... a hole. Nothing more, nothing less.

Applejack looked down this hole as well. "Another roadblock? This 's getting annoyin'."

"Dangit, there's gotta be more to this cave... Is that water I hear?"

AJ struggled to hear more than a trickle, but there did seem to be water at the bottom of this tunnel. "Yeah, Ah think there is. Is there any reason whah?"

Arizona backed up a bit.

"No, Ari, Ah don't think that's the best i-"

"Here goes!" With that, the calf jumped into the chasm, and into darkness.

"Arizona!" Cowgirl instincts kicking in, Applejack leapt into the depression to save this brave, yet brash calf.

* * *

_Approximately fifteen seconds later_

*Splash!*

Gasping for air, AJ surfaced near a very wet Arizona. "Remind me to keep you reined in before you jump the cart."

"You're welcome!" The two swam to the nearest bank, where a wolf was sleeping. Not wanting to get into a conflict until they were more prepared, they simply slipped past it and into a nearby mineshaft.

Once there was inside, Arizona mouthed to AJ, "Huh. Don't know why we're here, but I think there might be something at the end of this one."

"Why do you say that?" Applejack turned around a couple of times. "It's completely dark in here!"

Finding a lantern and some tinder, Arizona struck her hoof on a rock a few times. "Not completely!"

ouchy ouch fire ooh ow hot

The flames from the lantern glowed an ethereal blue color, filling the nearby area with warmth.

"Huh... I feel it too now. Wonder how that worked."

Arizona shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Let's see what's at the end of this one."

The ungulates headed towards the end, illuminating another lamp as they went along. A narrower path revealed some sort of underground river.

"Probably flooded up. Let's see what's at the end of it." They lit one more lantern up on the way. Finally finishing the river wade, the ungulate were greeted with a... skull and bones of a deceased ungulate, and rather fresh at that. Appeared to be a cow skull, but the most interesting thing about it was its left eye. A single glass eye was in its socket, reflecting blue and yellow colors around the general area.

"What 'appened 'ere?"

Applejack shook her head. "I dunno, but... feels wrong to leave it like this. I think we should take it."

GAINED SANDY SKULL! _+1 Crossover +3 Bad Time he's dead where he stands. that's why i don't make promises._

With that being done, the two left the cave. And right smack dab into the wolf they saw earlier. It yelped in surprise, before snarling and striking an attacking position.

**Fight!**

The wolf lunged at Arizona, who simply blocked his advance with a well timed headbutt. After that, she simply followed up with a few hits in the right places, and he was down for good.

**It's over! That was fast.**

Applejack looked on in amazement again. “You gotta teach me how to shrug off pains like that.”

"Not too hard, if yer expectin' it. Come on, let's keep goin'."

A short wade, and a small hike later, the two came upon a stone with a blue engraving on it. "This again?" They looked up at the ceiling, filled with stalactites. "Golly, this is a bit of a squeeze." Arizona put on a determined face. "Gotta keep low, or else we'll hit our noggins."

**Jump across the chasm?**

"Yep! Let's go!"

Because of the low ceiling, staying low was basically a requirement. Not the easiest of tasks; being used to the open air meant changing their style, and FAST.

The first jumps were the easiest, but Arizona was the least used to confined spaces, and very narrowly avoided the first couple sets. On the third, though, she rammed straight into a rather blunt one from below, causing her to shoot downwards at a fast speed.

Looking down at the edge of her platform, Applejack saw the calf lying on the ground dazed, but not hurt. "You okay down there?"

Arizona shook her head, then called back up. "I'm fine! Just a little dazed! There’s a way for me to get back, so just give me a sec!”

True to her word, the cow was soon at the previous location. She jumped the crack successfully this time, meeting up with AJ. Together, they finished crossing the gaps, silently thanking whoever left those stones there.

* * *

The two came upon a large open room. A few wolves were prowling around, but they didn't seem to notice the farmer and adventurer. Yet...

"Say Ari?" "Yeah?" Applejack motioned towards the two exits of the room. "There are two exits here. Which one leads out?"

"I don't know..." The cow looked back and forth at the exits. "How about this... you take one, and I'll take the other? We can both take care of ourselves, I think..."

“Alright... Ahl tray to see what’s over to the raht. You trah to see what’s ahead, and clear out any predators there.”

Arizona was in agreement. With all said and done, Arizona ran over to one of the wolves, and started to lay roughshod on it, leaving Applejack to take the tunnel on her right.

Surprisingly, there were no predators in the general vicinity. All Applejack could see were a few bridges, stringing together the several "islands" of solid granite. A single pathway was very clearly laid out for any traveler to follow. At the end of it, was a single exit. Overhead and to her right, a second path was visible, possibly leading back to the first room.

Well, weren't anywhere else this cave led to. Walking forwards, she suddenly noticed something on the walls. Or rather, lack of something. Wasn't this a mine? For salt?

Weird, weird. Sure, it might have been mostly cleared out, but still. They must've left something, other than these cleared out rocks. In fact, some of them looked recently mined, but that could have easily been her imagination.

As the cautiously turned into the next room, Applejack reflected on what those predators had looked like. Like she had surmised before, they seemed like timberwolves, but more... spirity. Waitwaitwait, not just spirity... DEVILLY. That was the word.

A blue light flashed in front of her. "Yiee! Whut's that? Who's there?"

The light receded, leaving only Applejack and the same stone from before. "Yew again? Well... Ah suppose that cliffside will pose a bit of a problem..." she said, gazing up at the path before her. "Guess you're some kind of warning for travelers, huh?"

She kicked her hind leg down hard, leaving a tiny indent on the floor. "Guess Ah'll have to climb this thing! Here goes!"

**Challenge the climactic crag?**

"Bring it!"

The first couple of jumps were short and easy. Just a hop, a skip and a jump. Of course, AJ had to crouch down for most of them, but she made it through no problem.

The upwards climb was otherwise, much more grueling. One wrong step, and she'd plummet down to where she started.

Fortunately, the next jumps were in a closed area, so even if she did fall, she could just redo it. But once she got out of there, there was a short gap that she had to cross.

Easily jumpable! Just a windup, then-

"Oof!" A random rock got in the way. Suddenly, where she should be flying, she was falling. Down... down... into...

"AAAAAAAA- Oof-Dangit!" Back where she started?

Wait, what?! She should have been dead! That's... also kinda weird to think about.

"Well... at least redo's are definitely possible..."

Trying again, she managed to clear the gap this time by a long shot, as she had originally predicted. As she continued the climb, she kept thinking about how she was saved.

Was it the stone? Her friendship magic? Or just the way things worked in this world? She wouldn't know.

All she did know, is that she could continue her quest, and get back to Arizona. She was at the top of the crag.

"Whew! That was... interestin'... but Ah won't question it fer now... Shood probably get back to Ari now... Wait, whuzat?" Noticing something sparkly out of the corner of her eye, she ran towards it at a rather brisk pace, for someone who just finished a cliff climb.

A treasure chest! Nice. She made a motion to open it, before suddenly stopping to take a look at her surroundings.

It was a room from earlier! "Wow... these cows sure knew how to clear out a place..."

Pushing the thought from her mind, she turned again and opened the treasure chest that lay before her.

Da-da-da-daaaaaaah!

_You found the Hylian Hat! Press START to get into the subscreen to equip the hat!_

Press (A)

With that finished, Applejack picked herself up, and headed towards the north part of the caverns, where she hoped Arizona still was.

And then immediately fell down a hole in the path, dropping her down a level.

Yep. She was on the path she had seen earlier, crossing the wooden bridges a little bit ago. Looking down on the place she once trod was... kinda spooky, with how high up she was, but at least she knew where she was headed.

Back in the large room she was in before. Well, Arizona wasn't there, but there weren't any wolves either, so... That meant that Arizona cleared them out!

_Knew she had somethin' in 'er._

After walking through the still-warm predator death sites, Applejack came into another room, with nothing in it but a black... thing. Not knowing what to do, she tried to talk with it.

"Howdy!...Who 'r what are ya?"

It responded by circling around her.

"Uh... Ah don't understand. Do you speak ponish?"

The orb simply increased its speed, flying ever closer and more annoyingly to the orange pony.

"Uh... POHHHHHN IIIIIISH. Do ya understand me?"

Apparently not. The orb flew a little bit away, before launching itself at Applejack, who was caught off guard by it completely. It hit her in the side, causing her to take a heavy fall to earth.

"Alright, that's it!" AJ reared up on her hind legs, using both mouth and hooves to commandeer her lasso onto the entity, flooring it. She then stomped down on it, HARD, with one of her hind legs. Upon doing so, it shattered, leaving many blue and green orbs in its place.

Before she could react, the orbs flew at Applejack, getting absorbed into her. It felt... strangely good?

"Whah...Ah feel great!" She started to walk forwards. "Bettah keep mah eye out for more a' those things..."

She started to head down the maze-like caverns once moe, searching for the cow she had left some time ago.

* * *

"Where is she?"

Arizona paced around a little bit in a small room. Sure she could have gone ahead, but then she could have left Applejack behind! Better safe than sorry.

In fact she was just about to stop her balking and get on walking, when Applejack poked her head into the cave. "Oh! Applejack! Howdy!"

Applejack returned the warm gesture, then sat down. Musta' had a rough time trying to find her.

"Well, you did clear out those predators good, sugarcube!"

"Thanks! Didn't want ta' leave you behind, so I waited for you. Come on, let's keep going. We're almost out of here, I can sense it!"

The next room contained a few groups of enemies. Some of them were wolves, but at the rest Arizona looked confused.

“Are those coils a’ ropes? Wit’ ‘eads?”

Applejack provided an explanation. “Snakes. These looks like poison at me. Yeah ta keep yer distance, an’ watch for tricks. They’re smart un’s.”

“Yeah, but where’re their legs?”

“They don’t ‘ave ‘em. Let’s take ‘em down!”

They ran to the first group of predators, who fully anticipated this move.

**Fight!**

There were three wolves and one snake in this first group. Almost immediately, the snake spat out purple venom from its fangs, striking a direct hit on the calf.

“Woah! Wasn’t expectin’ that!”

Arizona had to stop to at least get the toxins out of her eyes, giving the first wolf a chance to strike. He rammed himself into her, flinging her upwards as he did. A second wolf lunged at Applejack, who didn't have much time to do anything, really.

Remembering what Arizona had done before with a previous wolf, Applejack stood her ground, trying to not get pushed at all, only to fall prey to the creature's claws, as they raked down her side. Somehow, this only launched her a little bit away, instead of tearing her flesh entirely. Quickly regaining her footing, Applejack lunged towards the snake, who was back at a distance, still spitting at the calf.

Arizona had gotten herself mostly in the clear, finally landing a few hits of her own on the wolf of her own. Making sure to keep her eyes shielded from the venom, she threw a few more hooks, then charged at him, headbutting him HARD in the gut. Finally finding the snake, Applejack silently got behind it, then pounced on its tail. Instinctively turning around, the snake was met with Applejack's forehoof, which, uh...

Have you ever ran into a wall before when you were five for no damn reason other than to show how "invincible" you were? That's about the force the snake got hit by. The snake crumpled with this single attack, and flopped uselessly to the floor, where it started to fade. AJ started to stand up to see if she could help Arizona, only to get hit from behind by a large muzzle.

It attacked again, trying to get closer, but this time, the pony knew to keep at a distance. This new wolf was relentless, trying to edge her against the wall... how could she-

"Applejack! To block, trah tah not stay rooted like a tree on a Tired Tuesday! Let yerself get pushed back a bit, an' it'll feel less- oof!" The wolf that had attacked Applejack had shifted his attention to the cow, leaving the battle to be a two one-on-ones.

 ~~The wolf~~ Fluffers struck once more, from above this time. Taking Arizona's advice to good use, Applejack slightly braced herself, enough to hurt less, but not enough to keep her riveted in one spot. Fluffer's attacks bounced off Applejack's body with nary a scratch, leading her to launch into her counterattack.

Arizona was doing well with hers as well. She had gotten hers between a rock and a hard place, that hard place being her hooves. She was basically doing a jig on him with all of the downwards aimed attacks at his nearly finished body.

Both wolves were down at nearly the same time, each fading away into nothingness as well.

Arizona checked herself and the supplies, then sighed. "Coulda' been worse. Still, glad that's over!"

A nearby howl called their attention elsewhere. "Aw, shoot."

The other wolves and snake, quite nearby in fact, rushed onto the duo too. This time, they were ready for what they had to offer.

The venom was blocked right off the bat by Arizona, who jumped high in the air to slam down on it. Applejack had to deal with both wolves at the same time.

To her credit, Applejack was quite quick with her lasso. It whipped out, past the frontrunner and onto the back one, who was thrown under Applejack's iron grip.

The other wolf attempted to run away, to get stomped on by Arizona. Well, stomped near. The shockwave threw him a little bit into the air. Ari twisted her head upwards quickly, tearing a surprisingly large chunk of black fur from his body.

Knowing she had one Arizona taunted, "Had enough yet? Too bad, ya'll in for a-" She reared back, preparing to launch herself forwards, before flying at a breakneck speed! "-hurtin'!"

Time seemed to slow down, as she landed the final blow of the battle. The wolf collapsed, but didn't disappear.

Applejack ran over. "Yew jus' don't give up, now do ya? Take this!" *Kick!*

Suddenly, the wolf exploded into green orbs! They lay on the ground, glistening with another, gentler glow. They pulled themselves into the heroes, healing any wounds they had.

**It's over!**

"Still don't know how those orbs work..." Arizona remarked. AJ just looked on, shocked, as usual. "What in the name of Granny Smith's super secret apple pies was that move?"

"Well, ya see, through 'ours of trainin' and fightin', I figured out that if I use a special technique once in a while, I can land a hit like that! An' well, I know when I can use it, because, because... I got no diddly darn idea."

AJ shook her head. "C'mon. We still got the rest 'a this cave to explo'. Ah ken almost feel the fresh air agen!"

The next room contained no predators, lucky for them. Only two treasure chests were there, free for taking.

"Welp. Guess we should take a looksee?"

_**GAINED DUSTY DUSTER!** +3 Indifference I don't feel like playing the game to find the descriptions for this, and I am not looking at seventeen playthroughs of it either._

_**GAINED TEN-GALLON TOPPER** -1 Sense of Care Same principle._

Cool. The ungulates headed into the next room, one more step closer to the exit.

The next room contained the same black orbs from earlier, as well as a firepit. Arizona motioned towards them. "Ah'll take care 'a them, yew see what that firepit is about. Mebbe we ken siddown an' take a breather.

AZ briskly walked over to the orbs, where she went to town. Applejack stepped over the firepit, striking her iron horseshoe on a rock, and breathing life to the fire.

ooh ow fire ow ouchie hot

Again, the fire emitted the same blue light that the lanterns had. No reason was forthcoming, so no reason to bother thinking about it too much.

They sat down for a few minutes, simply feeling the warmth of the fire. Not a word passed between them; they were just happy to spend this time together.

* * *

"Hrrp...Ah! There we are! I think that's enough, Applejack, let's finish this up!"

Standing up, Applejack replied, "Sure thing. The exit's o'er thataway, so let's go." The two headed through the next door, where a few howls could be heard.

"Anotha' one? Well, we'll just have to take 'im out as well!"

"Er. Ah'm not sure about that."

"What's wrong? It only sounds like there's oooonnnnn n n n e e......"

One final predator. The final one. And it was massive. His eyes glowed yellow, and two smaller wolves flanked him on either side. A snake slithered out from the shadows, joining the ranks.

A standoff. Both sides moved not an inch forwards or backwards. Then the yellow eyed wolf snarled, casting its gaze hungrily on the pony in particular.

She didn't notice, or perhaps she just didn't care. She shouted a challenge. "So, yew wanna get in a line, or are we gonna do this hoedown style?"

The two smaller wolves leaped at the pony first, who simply guarded. "Hoedown it is!" She shouted to Arizona. "Take down the snake, then we'll face the big guy togetha'!"

Arizona nodded, and leapt into battle.

**Fight!**

The two wolves were quite the nuisance. Despite their size, they hit true, at least causing Applejack to retaliate. And retaliate she did, with a single shake of her head, she threw both of them off with her superior strength.

Arizona was faring equally as well with her foe, having thrown it off guard in the first place. She readied for a stomp, before getting interrupted by the larger of the wolves's claws.

The small wolves were taken care of, one with a full lasso truss, the other with a well placed blow to the head. A few drops of venom oozed onto Applejack's body, but she gave no heed as she heard the cow's cry of pain. She leapt onto the behemoth's back, trying to distract it long enough for Arizona to break free.

Once, twice, she struck with her front hooves. The father wolf reared up on its back, and effortlessly threw her off, into the wall, completely stunning her. Arizona was left there, back on her hooves.

Worriedly, she chanced a glance at Applejack, who was clearly unconscious. The remaining wolf loomed overhead, while the snake inched closer. Was this how it ended? Was this-

No. She couldn't let her friend die like this, so close to escaping!

She readied her stomp again, this time throwing her entire mass and will into it. This time, a huge shockwave flew from the place her hooves landed, throwing the wolf high into the air, and the snake into the ceiling, effectively crushing it.

The wolf snarled again, attempting to bite the calf, but she had different plans. She whipped out her lasso, and drew him in close, before throwing him roughly on a patch of rock behind her.

"Heh! That's a wrap! Ya'll in fer a... Beatin'!"

**It's over!**

* * *

"Miz Applejack! Yer awake!"

Applejack was sitting by the fire. Arizona was looking at her with concern and relief in her eyes.

"'Ey, Ari! Ugh, what 'appened? Ah feel lahk Ah got 'it by a train there."

"You got knocked around pretty badly by that predator, but Ah think Ah patched yew up nicely."

Applejack suppressed a laugh. Arizona wasn't having any of it. "What's wrong?"

She couldn't hold it in. "Bahahahahahaha! That hat...and that mustache? You have gotta be kiddin me! Ahahahahaha!"

Arizona shook her head. Yeah, maybe she should change.

THE M-POWER _+1 Superstar Points +2 Jump Height +1 Sexy Mustache It's-a-me, Moo-rio!_

GAINED A FEW LAUGHS! _+100 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH_

"Let's get outta here. I checked for predators. The way to the city is clear as day, so let's see if we ken make good time."

Applejack nodded, getting a few last chuckles out of her system. "Alright. Just, don't put that ridiculous outfit on again, okay?"

* * *

He saw them. He saw them head out of the cave, and into the sunlight.

But, now was not the time to strike.

That will be later.

But for now, following them seemed like a good plan.

Ah, the predators will rule once more. He could almost hiss in excitement.

But, there was no harm in being patient.

Absolutely none at all.

* * *

*knock knock knock*

Pen: Huh? Oh! Hi! You must be the person who ordered those dresses!

?: Yes, I am. I just wanted to check on their progress.

Pen: Yeah! I think we're all done with it. If you want to see them, they're in the back of the room. Miss, uh... Horsé Collins?

H. Collins: Yep! That's me!

Pen: Hinny of the Hills. I'm familiar.

H. Collins: Huh?

Pen: Yeah! I read about it from totally not a random diary I found on the ground.

H. Collins: ...

Pen: Alright! Right over here.

?: KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT

H. Collins: Is everything alright back there?

Pen: Not sure... Do you want to check it out with me, or do you just want me to go alone?

H. Collins: I'll...come. I haven't seen a show like this yet.

Pen: Great! Let's go.

Eraser and Blocky: KILLTHESNAKEKILLITKILLITKILLIT

H. Collins: Snake?

Pen: What's going on?

H. Collins: Snake?

Pen: Snake?!

Eraser and Blocky: SNAAAAAAAAAKE!!!

Pen: We're comin' for you guys!

Pen: WAIT! It's already dead!

Eraser: Oh. So we've just been kicking around this dead red-black snake for two minutes?

Pen: Yep. Uh... you okay, Mrs. Collins?

H. Collins: Uh... Yes?

Pen: Anyways, Here's the dresses.

H. Collins: *gasp* They look gorgeous! You're very talented, for Rarity's understudies.

Pen: Yeah! Eraser was surprisingly good at sowing.

H. Collins: Well, if it isn't to much to ask, could I take them now?

Pen: No problem. Totally fine with me. You think you can carry that?

H. Collins: Absolutely! Dresses aren't that hard. You know, I used to work as a stage hand.

Blocky: I bet you were pretty good at it!

H. Collins: Thank you!

Pen: Well, thanks for stopping by. See ya!

H. Collins: Bye bye!

...

Eraser: Is she gone?

Pen: Yep.

Eraser: Did you tell her that we couldn't get the diamonds?

Pen: Nah, she didn't need to know. Besides, Yellow Face's cheap plastic toys worked out fine. Plus, I searched for HOURS for some, and all I found in that stupid cave was salt. Just all over the place. I took it with me. See? I also found a cactus, this weird orb, and a cowgirl outfit that I left there. Doesn't matter. If I took stuff, I left stuff in their place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next chapter.


	7. Party Balloons and Picnic Baskets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ponk and Pap find each other. Spike is present.

_Ha! Your rotten days have a number, vile villains!_

_No! I will not be defeated by the likes of you, Hum-drum!_

_Take that! And that! You'd be better if you'd stop "dragon" your feet, Mane-iac!_

_No! NO! NOOOO!!!!_

_Yaha! I won!_

_Hahaha... Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You think that's it, little dragon?_

_You still want more? Bring it!_

_Prepare for my ultimate attack! Wake up, Spikey-wikey!_  
  
Huh?

"Wake up, spikey wikey!"

Spike was lying in a fuzzy, brown quilt. He stirred slightly, trying to stay asleep, to no avail. Staring up at the pony who woke him up, he was greeted by the warm smiling face of-

Pinkie Pie?! She got right into his face, shouting "Hi!" as she did.

Obviously, he did the only thing that his baby dragon brain could think of at the time. Scream. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Pinkie Pie was quite unfazed. "It's so happy to see you awake, silly! You were out for a day or two! Did you hit your head on a rock before you were out?"

Out? Seeing the confusion in the dragon's face, Pinkie continued, "You know, the light that hit us in the zeroth chapter?"

Spike decided that this question wasn't even worth an answer. "Okay. But where are we? This isn't the Castle of Friendship."

"Oh yeah!" Pinkie brightened up again. "We're in Prince Rutherford's house in Yakyakistan. Except it's in a place with a whole bunch of alpacas!"

He... didn't understand ANYTHING the earth pony said, but... "Okay?"

"Well, the day's not going to get any more boring than this! Get up!" Not like he really had a choice, now being taken away from the warm comforting folds of the blanket, and into the snowy cold outside.

While seated atop her head, he did notice that the number of houses greatly increased from the last time he had been there, long a time as that was. And what more, Pinkie was right! There were several alpacas among the ranks of the yaks, heads low, trying not to be noticed by the stronger. They didn't seem to mind, anyways; they just snorted a bit.

And did it feel... warmer? Not by much, but JUST enough to be noticeable. "How did-"

"It was easy, silly! Well, I'm off to talk to Adobo and Rutherford! See ya in a bit, Spike!" And with that the pony trotted off, not noticing that Spike was still clinging to her mane.

Looking around more, he found that every single alpaca had a frown on their face. Sure, the yaks didn't look too thrilled about the new tenants, but a few of them were at least attempting to socialize.

Pinkie turned a sharp left, straight towards a main meeting hall, where a few yaks and alpacas gathered outside. Spike watched them, but none of them really looked his way, so that was boring.

The meeting hall, though, HOO BOY. It was large, even for Yak standards. A couple of guards lined the entrance, but upon seeing their honorary yak approach, stepped aside with a grunt.

Upon entering, Spike saw Prince Rutherford, and possibly the saddest looking alpaca yet. He looked even duller than the rest of them, had large baggy eyebrows, and a single scar that ran on his rear.

He looked at the pony and dragon with the same gaze as before. Quite suddenly, he softly remarked,

"Small cheerful one, you have brought more danger to us? What will you do next? Summon the Devourer upon us?"

"Maybe!" Pinkie Pie continued to smile, and sat down, flinging Spike from herself as she did so. "Oh, Spike! Did you follow me?"

Spike didn't have time to respond, as Prince Rutherford shouted out first. "Tiny dragon not danger. Tiny dragon friend! He best dragon! The Best!!!"

Pinkie Pie was in agreement. "Yep! You won't meet a nicer dragon around! As long as you don't count that one across the street, or that other one, or that other one...ooh! Can't forget about that one."

Rutherford rolled his eyes. "I bring you here to talk about long necks and bright light. Honorary yak know why here?"

Pinkie Pie simply shrugged her shoulders. "I've already told you everything. But! That doesn't mean we can't throw you a DIPLOMACY party here!" A party blower appeared in her left hoof, and she readied to blow. Fortunately, before she could, Spike snatched it and burnt it down to ashes, causing her to look slightly downcast.

After that tiny party fiasco, Spike turned his attention to Adobo, if that was his name. "So... Adobo... Who are you, and these alpacas? I'm a little late to the *ahem* party here."

"Of course." Adobo replied. "I am Herd Leader Adobo. We the Alpake Clan of the Highlands are wretched and alone in this world... Mother Nature was cruel where we were... But this pink one... When we came here, we were onslaughted by the prideful ones... But she convinced them to help us somehow. And they have been of great help to me and my clan, with even the simplest of deeds."

This made a minimal amount of sense to Spike. Didn't explain how they had gotten here but-

"We had arrived here after a beam of light flew in from the west. It consumed us all, then dropped us here. How curious..."

The light again? Now Spike was getting suspicious. He couldn't recall- oh. Oh. OOOOOOOOHHHHHH.

"Oh! Oh! Did you remember the giant beam of light that Twilight and created that combined the two dimensions? Cool, huh?"

Spike groaned. "So now what do we do?"

Pinkie Pie had a plan as always. "Easy! We find Twilight! BUT! First, we finish this meeting. It's only fair. And fun! Yippee!"

Facepalming, Spike sat down on his cute dragon behind. "I guess I don't have a choice in this one, do I?"

"Nope!"

"Although, how did you convince the yaks to stop their...smashing?"

Pinkie explained. "Well, you see, it all started when-"

* * *

_Long necks not perfect! Yaks smash!_

_No! Don't smash them!_

_You heard honorary yak; stop smash!_

* * *

"Why am I not surprised?" Spike said, with a completely deadpan expression.

"Ooh! Maybe you have some Pinkie Sense too!"

Adobo shook his head. "Yes... that is how she saved us..." He turned back to Pinkie Pie. "I see no reason for you to stay for the rest of this... You can certainly go... You only have to worry about the monster..."

"MONSTER?!"

"Yes. She will stalk you. It will track your scent like the predators once did. And once it finally corners you, it will suffocate you with its crushing embrace!"

"Uh... Should we really-"

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Before he had a chance to respond, Pinkie pulled Spike back onto her back. "Let's go find this monster! AND KILL IT."

The room, sans Adobo and Pinkie, stared at her slack-jawed. "With kindness!"

Huh?

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie jumped down from her chair, and ran out of the building.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

With that Pinkie pie started to run up the mountain, leaving several footprints behind her. Spike clung on for dear life as it flashed before his eyes.

"Okay! We're at the top now! Wow, what a plateau! Adobo mentioned the monster yesterday. But it probably doesn't matter! Maybe we'll even meet it!"

Spike looked around the flat area worriedly. "That is the exact OPPOSITE of what I want to do! Can we just go now? It's p-pretty c-cold, you k-know?"

The party pony sat down. "Aw, did Spikey-wikey forget his sweater?"

Spike tried to curl up further in Pinkie Pie's curls. "I-I wasn't ex-expecting me to go up a MOUNTAIN t-today..."

Pinkie Pie simply laughed. Suddenly, they heard the crunch of snow behind them. "Oh! I think I heard the monster! Hey, monster!"

Spike attempted to shut Pinkie up, but to no avail. The monster had already heard them.

Although they couldn't see it, it was coming. They heard it. Spike partially hid behind the pony's hair, but enough to see outwards.

At first, nothing but the snow. But then a dark silhouette turned a corner and approached, slowly.

The dragon remained frozen, gazing at the figure, before the outline became clearer, revealing-

Revealing-

"Outta the way!" Spike screamed as the creature slammed a large tail where the pony had been standing before.

"S-S-S-SNAAAAKE!"

Pinkie Pie took a slightly closer look, opening its mouth wide. "Yep! Definitely a snake! Looks like poison too!" She quickly danced back, narrowly escaping the snake's jaws as she did so.

"Hey! You weren't invited to this party!" She took out a lollipop and put it in her mouth. "Look's like I'll have to take you party crasher outta here!"

She larger-than-average snake reared back, standing on coils as it did. It hissed in their faces, before launching itself at them.

**Fight!**

It hissed as it struck at them, but utterly missed as Pinkie ran around it.

“Wheee!” Pinkie spun on her hooves, narrowly missing getting bit, again. The snake didn’t take this very kindly.

Spike, not wanting to deal with, like, any of this, jumped off of Pinkie’s back and ran a small distance before taking flight with his wings. He soared a little bit above them, but mostly watched what happened.

Fortunately, it didn’t seem like Pinkie was in any real danger. Neither of them had hit each other yet, but the snake was looking angrier by the second. Noticing this, Spike shouted out a warning to his friend.

“Pinkie! He looks angry! You should get out of there!” Noted.

The snake heard as well. It reared up on its hind coils- then blew the biggest, most obnoxious raspberry that Pinkie Pie and Spike ever heard.

Suddenly, the snake threw off its head, revealing a VERY happy alpaca.

**It’s...over...?**

Okay...? Well, they certainly weren’t in any major danger anymore. The new alpaca looked... Friendly! Happier than the ones back in Yakyakistan.

The yellow one laughed a little bit before rolling over and over again on the cold, snowy floor.

Spike stared at her, still a bit shaken from the battle. "Wh-who a-are y-you?"

She pulled out a little satchel of... something... and dumped the contents onto Spike's face.

"Ah! What was that?" His face was now covered in a bright red plant-based powder, but fortunately, none of it got in his eyes.

She pointed at the herbs on his face, then back at herself. Spike took a little lick. "Paprika?"

Paprika nodded, laughing again as she did.

In fact, she laughed a lot. So much so, that her pupils contracted to the size of peppercorns as she pulled stunts in slight levitation.

"Wow! That alpaca looks like she had more fun than I did!" The earth pony jumped a few feet in the air, then ran over to Paprika.

"So, Paprika! Do you like cake?"

"❄︎☟︎☜︎ ⚐︎👍︎❄︎⚐︎☝︎⚐︎☠︎ ✋︎💧︎ ✌︎☠︎ ✌︎💣︎✌︎☪︎✋︎☠︎☝︎ 💧︎☟︎✌︎🏱︎☜︎ ✋︎❄︎ ☟︎✌︎💧︎ 🖰︎ ✌︎🕈︎☜︎💧︎⚐︎💣︎☜︎ ✌︎☠︎☝︎☹︎☜︎💧︎" she responded eagerly.

"Uh..." Spike strangely looked back at his ride. "Did you catch that?"

"Nope! But I think this calls for a NEW FRIEND PARTY!" A new blower appeared in Pinkie's mouth, and she managed to blow this time. Paprika joined in with her own tooter, creating an interesting harmony.

The pony pulled out a little clipboard. "So what kind of party do you want? I can do classic, loud, music, extra catering, extra dancing, or mud!"

Paprika pulled out a picnic basket and blanket, and created a little spread right there in the snow. Pinkie pie giddily gasped in delight. "Oh! Simple picnic party! Woo-hoo!"

Spike was still mostly in shock from all of this. The snake turned into this alpaca, and she might be the only person who could rival Pinkie in randomness. Except Discord, actually. He totally takes first place.

* * *

"Ah! Nice to see I'm still number one here!"

_Yes, yes. We are number one._

"What do you mean, we?!"

* * *

Paprika, noticing Spike's discomfort, pulled off some of her wool as she sat down. It immediately grew back, leaving her coat relatively unharmed. Then she pulled out some giant needles!

And started to knit. Not ten seconds later, a perfect sweater, complete with a heart on the front, was being held in Paprika's hooves.

Spike looked at it, then back at the two others. Both of them were looking at him with an expectant gaze. "What do you want me to do?"

"I think she wants you to try on the sweater, Spike!" "🏱︎☜︎✌︎☠︎🕆︎❄︎ 👌︎🕆︎❄︎❄︎☜︎☼︎ ☺︎☜︎☹︎☹︎✡︎ ❄︎✋︎💣︎☜︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎ ✌︎❄︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎ ✌︎❄︎ 🕈︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎ ✌︎❄︎ ☠︎⚐︎🕈︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎ ☝︎⚐︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎ ☝︎⚐︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎ ☝︎⚐︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎ ☝︎⚐︎✏︎"

Oooooohhhhh. That made sense.

_**GAINED HEART SWEATER!** +1 Giant Heart +4 Warmth She put a lot of heart into it. She also put her ~~blood,~~ sweat, ~~and tears~~ in!_

"Wow... This is really comfy! And warm! Thanks Paprika!"

Now the entire company was happy, and ready to eat. From the picnic basket, the not-llama produced a few apples, some broccoli, and three cinnamon rolls. A few plates, cups, bowls, and potted cacti also appeared from it. Paprika set up the picnic in record time, even going as far as giving the cactus a place to sit and relax.

"Alright, everycreature! Dig in!"

The rest of the party needed no second bidding, all of them taking from some of the spread. Paprika in particular was hungrily gobbling down the broccoli. "Actually," Spike thought, "Maybe Pinkie isn't the Cupcake Eating Champion '20?"

Pinkie Pie was far into her meal. After swallowing a big bite of cinnamon roll, she shouted, "This calls for something big!"

Oh, no! Not again, Pinkie! Not every occasion calls for a-

"PARTY CANNON!" Her signature blue and pink cannon appeared right in front of herself. "Spike! Light it up!"

Spike shook his head, backing away from the pony. "What? I didn't agree to thi-woah!"

Pinkie held him over her head. "That wasn't a question! Yaaah!" She pulled hard on his tail, causing a burst of flame to come shooting out. A direct hit on the fuse! "Here it comes!"

BOOM!

A plethora of various cakes flew out from the cannon, landing perfectly on several plates. Streamers, ribbons, and confetti rained down from above, and a paper hat floated down onto the cactus. Lastly, Gummy crawled out of the cannon, and waddled over to the cacti with its crossed eyes.

Paprika was delighted at this show, and clapped at the impromptu performance. Spike, just mumbled incoherently to himself.

Suddenly, Paprika shot out at both pony and dragon, pulling them close.

"Aw, a hug?" Pinkie inquired. Paprika nodded at the both of them, squeezing them tighter.

Spike felt it first. "Agh! Too... Tight! Can't- Breathe! Can you-" *Pop!*

The two flew out of Paprika's arms due to all the squeezing, landing back at their respective seats at the picnic spread. Paprika simply looked at them with a surprised expression, before starting to laugh again.

"Aw, I liked that hug, too!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Spike facepalmed. "Well... I would really like to stay... but we have to find Twilight!"

Hearing the name, Paprika jumped up and ran down the side of the mountain facing the city, leaving pony and dragon alone again. "Aw, we didn't even get to finish the party! Bye Paprika!"

Spike brought Pinkie back to reality. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but we kinda need to find Twilaaaahhh!" All of a sudden, Paprika appeared behind him, now holding an oversized school chalkboard over her carpeted backside. She placed it down, and drew a crude picture of a six pointed star.

"Ooh! A game! I want to try! I want to try!" Pinkie shouted, raising a hoof.

Pictionary time!

Pinkie Pie pointed out what the drawing was first. "Ooh! That's Twilight's cutie mark!"

Paprika nodded, and started drawing a circle with a cross through it.

Spike thought for a moment. "A compass?" Paprika responded in the affirmative. She pointed then drew a picture of an upside down bucket, with a circle and a triangle on top.

Pinkie Pie responded. "Ooh! That's where we are!" Again, correct.

Paprika nodded again. Then she drew herself.

And by that, I mean she spent the next twenty minutes creating an extremely detailed caricature of herself as a superhero, big bulking muscles, a snazzy outfit, and outside underwear.

But when she was done with that, she took drew an arrow pointing in the Southwest direction.

"So they're over to the southwest?" Correct!

Finally, she drew three moons, and two circles, alternating with each other.

Hmmm... "Three nights and two days away?" Paprika smiled sweetly at Spike, before giving him another bone-crushing hug. "✋︎ ☹︎✋︎😐︎☜︎ ✡︎🕆︎☼︎ 👍︎🕆︎❄︎ ☝︎"

"Aaagh!"

Neither of the others seemed to notice his pain. Pinkie Pie in particular, said, "Okey-dokey-lokey! Looks like the picnic is over! I guess now, we'll invite Paprika to this party, and see how many more we can add!" With that, Pinkie pie headed in the southwest direction. "Come on, Paprika! I ain't waiting for you!"

Paprika snickered again, and placed Spike on her back. She took off towards Pinkie Pie, scooping her up as well.

The dragon didn't like this. "Isn't this kind of uns-mmmph!"

Paprika shoved a final piece of broccoli in his mouth, ending the conversation for the time being. The three ran off into the rest of the mountains, on their new quest to find Twilight.

"Hey! Don't forget the others!" "🏱︎✋︎☼︎✌︎❄︎☜︎ ☝︎⚐︎❄︎☜︎"

And the others.

* * *

Eraser: Huh. This is taking longer than usual. Are we main characters yet?

Pen: Nah. But DEFINITELY sometime soon, RIGHT, AUTHOR?!

Ye.

Eraser: Which is?!

>: (

Eraser: :C

Blocky: Fair enough. But first, check out this cool ice statue I found!

Pen: That's literally a deep-frozen pony.

Blocky: So...?

Pen: Alright, since you want to keep it so badly, how about this. If this *magical die of judgement* rolls even, she stays in. If it's odd, she gets out.'

Blocky: Agreed.

Pen: Three, two, one... roll!

Blocky: So?

Pen: It says pi.

Blocky: ...

Pen: ... I'll just throw her off the top of this building, and if she survives she gets to go.

Eraser: Good idea. I ain't gonna stop you.

Spitfire: MMMMMMMMPHHHH!!!


	8. Frosty Balneotherapy, Frigid Backstories, and "Friendly" Brawls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rarity and Velvet meet old and new friends, and also beat up some predators.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but this one is good!

Rarity looked down at her hooves. "My word, that took longer than expected. It took half the day to get over here!"

Velvet offered an explanation. "Reine is zhe grandest city in Foenum. I'm not zurbrized that you're not used du zis..."

The unicorn didn't react to the thinly hidden insult. They were finally at the spa! "Here we are! Aloe and Lotus's Ponyville Day Spa!"

Velvet looked around the unfamiliar room, on guard for some reason. Then she relaxed as the sudden herbal scent of eucalyptus filled the room. As well as two rather clumsy spa ponies with some broken bottles of essential oils.

"There you are!" Rarity walked forwards, picking up the broken bottles with her magic. "Oh, here. Let me help you with that. Now, myself and my friend here are going to have a nice relaxing spa night. If it's alright with you, at such a late hour, that is?"

Lotus nodded. "For sure! You and any of your friends are always welcome here! What would you like?"

"The usual." Rarity looked expectantly at Velvet, who seemed a little lost.

"And yourself, Velvet?"

"Um..." Velvet looked extremely confused at all of this. Rarity suddenly remembered that Velvet had never had a spa in her life before.

"Aloe, could you show this fine reindeer a selection of your works? She looks all turned around." Nodding again, Aloe pulled down a small screen, which showed the selections in a neat and organized format.

Rarity saw that Velvet was taking her time in deciding, so she grabbed a newspaper from a nearby stand. Breaking: New Reindeer Tenants Found All Over Ponyville!

"Eh, zhe selections are not worth zhe effort. I'll take what zis pony gets." With that all said and done, the two spa ponies led them to the end of the hallway.

The building in question was surprisingly large, for Ponyville standards. Several of the rooms held other spa related things; a steam room, sauna, hot towel press added after that broken pipe fiasco.

But at the end of the hallway, was the main attraction, and the one that Rarity liked the most. The spa and massage room! She apparently knew it well, starting to head straight for the steaming hot tub in the center.

Lotus told Velvet what to expect from this particular visit. “Alright. So Rarity’s usual is a spa, followed by a massage, then a simple hooficure and horn polishing. For you, we can certainly accommodate your antlers as well.”

With that, Aloe and Lotus left the room, leaving unicorn and reindeer in the general silence of the room.

Cutting into it, Velvet cooly asked, “Zo, are we chust to zdand around? Or are we going to zdard zis... spa?”

But of course. Rarity stepped into the not-quite scalding water first, followed soon after by Velvet, who looked quite panicked. "Vat iz zis? The pot to maig reindeer zoop?"

Laughing, Rarity said, "Of course not! Just take your time. You'll get used to it. I'm not boiling myself! Besides, that would positively ruin my mane. Just relax! I'm right here!"

Not to look like a coward in front of someone like Rarity, Velvet slowly settled down in the heated water.

"Ah! See! Whadever you can du, I can du as vell!"

Rarity leaned back, allowing more of the water to cover herself. "Yes, I can see that. Besides, I bet you've never felt water like this in a climate of your own."

Velvet seemed to be in agreement. The two sat for a few minutes in relative silence, only being disturbed once in a while when Aloe had to get something from the spa room.

"Hmmm..."

Velvet looked at Rarity strangely. "Vat iz it?"

Sighing, Rarity let it all go. "Oh all right. I'll tell you. I've been with you for a few hours now, and I just can't understand your attitude. I know that you don't like the company of others, but that's no reason to act like that to everyone you meet. Even with me, after I offered you a spa day with myself, MYSELF, you still act like you're some sort of... QUEEN or something. Why are you acting like this? You froze a pony earlier, yelled at two other reindeer for not bringing you coffee, spat on MY statue, and acted very rude to Aloe and Lotus. As the Element of Generosity, please explain yourself!"

Velvet looked ANGRY. Angrier and angrier by the second. Suddenly, Rarity realized that the water was getting cooler by the second, as Velvet let HER anger go.

"ME? YOU ARE ASKING ME WHY I AM ACTING LIKE ZIS? I can see that 'my bervegdion' is not enough for you. Do you want to hear my story? Here you vill find my 'generosity.' Well, here you can take it from m-"

Aloe tapped Velvet on the shoulder. "Um, miss? You are freezing the water. It is fifty degrees now (Fahrenheit). Might I suggest a massage? Your... floof is looking a little waterlogged."

Angrily nodding, Generosity and Ice both left the spa and onto a small table, on which they both lay on. The spa ponies soon came back to start their massage.

Massaging start!

Rarity sighed happily, as the soothing hooves of the spa ponies started at her back. Velvet seemed to be more happy about this part, as she relaxed quite easily. And more importantly, DIDN'T try to freeze anyone.

Since she seemed to be more calm, Rarity found it an opportune moment to try to find out the reindeer's origin story.

"So how did you learn how to..."

She was cut off. "Yes... I don't often tell others about my story, but for you I vill make an egzebdion. Now open your earz, and pig oud zhe wax, for zis! Is my origin."

* * *

_I wasn't always an ice queen. My powers; I didn't know them, or learn them. That was simply something that I- let me start from the beginning._

_I was a gentle soul to begin with. I often took long walks in the woods outside of Reine, enjoying nature, watching snowfall, seeing the natural beauty in everything; brown eyes and antlers to attract the masses. Not anymore._

_Even though I was a Hoofstrong, the renowned fighters of old time, no one minded that I was gentle. That was what most does were here. Gentle, and even slightly skittish. Feh! Like I would be like that now._

_My family was rather popular in the city as well. The Hoofstrongs were always strong, but they liked my gentleness, for once. The "star calf" of the family._

_I was subject to dreams often. Not fluffy, cute dreams, but nightmares. For much of the past few months. Dreams of darkness, large teeth, and doom, all to predators. Sometimes even, retellings of legends, but mostly predators._

_One of these dreams spoke out to me. It called me to find a small lake in the woods. But that was only the beginning._

_When I arrived, an orb of ice emerged from the center of the frozen pond. It said to me, "What do you want, Child of Reine?"_

_"I've been having these dreams...Bad ones. They feel so real."_

_"Omens. A sign of what is coming."_

_"But I saw-"_

_"No future is certain until we reach it. But the shadows have grown strong. Large teeth, sharp claws, and piercing eyes; all to satiate their hunger."_

_I shouted, "But what can we do? We cannot fight these... these nightmares!"_

_"No, not as it is now. But YOU can."_

_"Me?"_

_"At a cost. I can grant you a power. Power to ~~spam snowballs like an degenerate~~ fight these Predators."_

_I listened intently. "What cost?"_

_"The warmth of your heart."_

_What?_

_"I am able to bestow upon you the mastery of ice snow and frost. But! This is unable to co-exist with the warmth in your heart."_

_I watched as it rose higher. "You will stand against the shadows; not only as a hero, but as Champion of the Tundra!"_

_Then I thought a while. "I'm not sure I want that." But there was no other way._

_I gave up myself for the good of Foenum. As consequence, I also drove away my friends. My family. My previous fame, before becoming a champion._

_Still, you might see a bit of the old me shine every once in a while... but because of what this orb did, the cold in my heart is overwhelming._

_Ever present._

_Ever bitter._

_And evermore._

* * *

"Zo? Appy? I haf told you everysing you need to know about me. Do NOT. discuss it any further with me, or anyone else. Ouch!" Velvet recoiled as a file nicked her head.

Lotus, the file holder, looked panicky. "OH! I did not mean to do that! Please accept my apologies."

"Eh... Alright. Vell, Rarity, I du fink ve should get going, no? It is quite late."

Rarity snapped out of her shock at Velvet's story. "What? Oh, yes! Of course! Um..." She looked around nervously. "If you don't mind, could I stay at your place for a night? It's a long way back to my house, and you mentioned yours was around here..."

The reindeer sighed and shook her head. "Alright. Chust don't tell anyone, fine? Fine."

That worked out better than she expected!

"Great! Now, let's get out of here, darling!"

Velvet simply rolled her eyes as they left the building, and the waving duo of spa ponies.

"Lotus, how much do you think we lost tonight from the freezing spa water?"

"At least 500 bits..."

"*Groaning*"

* * *

They were at Velvet's home. Home of the Hoofstrongs. Fortunately, there was enough room to make herself easily comfortable, despite only getting the living room. The couch wasn't even half bad, even if not made of silk.

The room was surprisingly similar to her own living room. Down to the placement of certain objects, but most of the spools and needles were replaced with medals and antlers.

Lying on her back, Rarity thought about what just happened and Velvet some more. She probably shouldn't, but she just couldn't help it.

So, if what she thought was true, a beam of light radiated from the Castle of Friendship, at the same time something similar happened to Velvet. That made some sense.

But Velvet seemed to be everything she was... and possibly more.

It was almost like Mistmane's story all over again. Just even worse. She sacrificed her control over emotions, for control of wind and ice and the future of her dimension.

Even Rarity, if she was in her own hooves, couldn't bring herself to sacrifice her element. This... was generous beyond anything she has done.

Her mind reeled at what her newfound friend had done. She stood up and softly vowed,

"I can't feel what you've been through. But I can understand. I WILL help you, Velvet. With every ounce of my body."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Looking behind herself, Rarity saw Velvet with tears in her eyes. But something was off.

Her antlers, hooves, and irises were now completely brown! "Velvet? What happened to-"

The reindeer suddenly threw herself onto the floor, streams running down her eyes. Rarity ran over, confused. As she came closer, Velvet covered her face with her hooves, before launching into her second speech of the day.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for how I treated you. I'm sorry for how I treated THEM. I drove everyone and everything I loved away from me. I'm so sorry!

"The orb told me that I would lose my warmth; that it was impossible for the warmth in my heart to co-exist with the cold of the ice. It was either myself or Foenum; one or the other. I chose Foenum.

"I didn't know what that orb would do to me, in all honesty! I've lost myself! Completely! I couldn't feel compassion! Couldn't feel love! Couldn't feel other's pain! Couldn't feel... anything!

"So cold... So cold! I don't know what felt worse, these... feelings, or the dreams I was plagued with!

"I couldn't love my family the way I used to. Everyone was upset that the star calf of old had gone astray. They didn't care, or know, or even want to know what I went through, my loss. All they knew was that I was a selfish, LAZY, OAFISH jerk who somehow had won the tournament. And yes, they respected me, still found me beautiful, but it wasn't the same. It was NEVER the same.

"Everything I told you in the spa was true. But I left one thing out. This. There was always this one inside of the cold, icy shell of the Velvet you know. Sitting. Waiting. That little voice that always got ignored when you do bad things.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. But tonight, I thought about you. You weren't selfish, even with your pride. You showed me kindness. You wanted to see my problems, even if you didn't have to. I...Something happened. The warmth of my heart returned.

"I thought I had lost this part of myself. But you have showed me that it's possible for anything to happen. I will be back to my cold, hard self by morning... if what the voices told me were true. But-"

She pulled Rarity into a hug.

"Thank you. Thank you for helping me feel love again. Thank you for bringing back my warmth, even if only for a night! Thank you for helping me! Thank you!"

She continued to say thank you, over and over again, but softer each time. Rarity had started to cry as well, pulling Velvet closer.

Eventually, Velvet broke out of the hug, and dusted herself off. Still tearful, she slowly walked back to her room, but blew a single, sweet, sad kiss towards Rarity just before she turned the hallway.

Rarity thought about Velvet a little more. She was more than she had expected originally. Even more reason for Rarity to help her.

She smiled at the hallway, before wiping the excess mascara from her eyes. Then she hopped back up onto the couch, and took her much-needed beauty rest.

* * *

_Mmmm... ah- Huh?_

_Snow? But-_

_Wait... this means..._

_*gasp* Not you again!_

_No! No! Please, just a little longer! I don't want to go back yet! Please!_

_Get away! Please! I-_

_Ngh- I- So... Cold..._

_Can't- Mo-_

_C-c-c-_

_Cold..._

* * *

"Velvet, Wake up!"

"Aah!" Velvet woke up, waving her hooves. She took some time to look at them, for some reason. Blue. She shook her head a few times, as a headache had started to form. "Vat is it, Rarity?" she snapped. Rarity looked startled, then looked concerned.

"You were making the most DREADFUL noise tonight. Did your dreams return?"

She tried to recall such a dream, but none came to mind. She shook her head to signify this.

Rarity, thank goodness, didn't press any further. She instead picked up a small platter holding a steaming hot teapot, bowl, creamer, and two small cups with her magic. "Your father, Jarl, said you liked dark coffee with creamer best."

The reindeer shook her head a few more times, to get rid of the last bits of her headache. "Yes. Is zere sugar? I like zat."

"No... but I did bring some pumpkin spice..."

"PUMPKIN SPICE?!" Velvet quickly got up and checked the contents of the bowl Rarity had brought. Only sugar.

Rarity giggled a little. "Oh, please! It was just a joke! Jarl made SURE I didn't bring anything even related to pies into here." She flopped down next to Velvet, alarmingly close to Velvet's... dirty... floof.

Aah! Her floof! What she doing last night? Was she on the FLOOR? She looked to Rarity for an answer, but she didn't seem to notice or share the reindeer's confusion.

"...Fine. Dark coffee, you said? That is acceptable, fur myself."

"Well, yes, of course! I don't see why it shouldn't be. My, my, what it must be like to have a father like Jarl... Is he taken?"

"Taken?!"

"As in dateable. I like my dates to sometimes be more... rugged, you know, darling?"

"RUGGED?! MY FATHER?!"

Rarity chuckled some more, then regained her composure. She held a small notepad with her magic. "Don't worry! I'm not sure what the rules are on on interspecies marriage here. On an unrelated note, I hate to ask you at a time like this, but could you show me more around Reine? I would really enjoy a tour, and I find no better person to ask than yourself. Are you willing to help someone like, me?"

Velvet took a small sip of her tea. "...Fine. Chust don't ask me too many gueszions, yes?"

Unexpectedly, Rarity gave her a big, warm hug. "Thank you, darling! It means a lot to me!" The reindeer rolled her eyes. Why was this unicorn acting so attached to her lately? Not that she really minded much, but still... "Ve go in one hour! I need my dime du ged brebared." She looked at her chest floof again. "SPRITES!"

* * *

They left the house, some ice sprites, and a smug male reindeer behind as Velvet started to show Rarity the unique facets of the neighborhood. Pointing dramatically to several large buildings in the vicinity and explaining what each and every building meant in a detail greater than the usual tour guides, Velvet cut a somewhat comical sight, at least to most usual ponies.

Seeing the ice glazed houses, and front wall, Rarity remarked, "How beautiful! Everything is much more appealing in the day."

Before Velvet could reply, a few ponies and reindeers in coats and hats passed by. They were talking amongst each other, so they weren't hiding anything. Still, Velvet couldn't help but eavesdrop a bit. Rarity, was preoccupied with chatting with someone she knew, so there wasn't anything stopping her.

"So, that's what happened?"

"Oh, yes. I wouldn't have expected it any other way. That doesn't matter. Twilight will most certainly fix it. She always does."

"Yes, your ruler. I've heard you talk about her a lot. Didn't you say she had a few friends?"

"Yeah! In fact, I think two of them are here now! One of them just arrived. Also, I heard she was with someone else..."

"Really? Who?"

"Did she bring muffins?"

"No, she did not bring muffins. Besides, that doesn't matter here. Not yet, at least."

"Well, if this friend arrives, I, Comet, would be glad to share any muffins they have!"

"Wait, Derpy, didn't you bring a hat or coat?"

"Huh? Oh... I thought you said ratty oats!"

"It's winter here in Reine, Derpy! How couldn't you understand what Octavia- What-!"

A few rats and grains popped out of the grey pegasus's mane, which started to chase Comet and... Octavia. Derpy simply looked around with an expression that just said "I just don't know what went wrong!"

"The poor thing..." Rarity shook her head. "Dr. Whooves has been hearing the most DREADFUL noises at night. And from the neighbor's basement... I shudder to think what happens under there."

Velvet thought. "Hm. I have heard a similar complaint. I haf remembered that I should probably take care of it myself... But!" She faced Rarity with a slight scowl on her face. "I vill allow you to come wiv me. But only if you promize to not tarnish my image. Understood?"

Rarity nodded, then pulled out a small comb.

"So! Let's get going, shall we?"

They headed to a small house in the middle of the block, where presumably the complaint in question was.

Upon opening the door, they saw two reindeer inside, one anxiously pacing in front of the doorway, and the other staring out of the window with an unreadable expression.

The one at the door immediately perked up at the sight of Velvet. "You finally got here! I thought I'd have to go looking myself! We keep hearing strange noises from the basement."

Suddenly a loud growl erupted from the floorboards. All reindeer, including Velvet were caught completely off guard, all of them throwing themselves onto the floor. Rarity nearly shrieked aloud, before neatly faux-fainting onto a pillow.

The male reindeer at the window yelled, "There it is again! You heard it, didn't you? It's been like that for weeks! Coming from the basement! We don't dare to go look!"

The female looked downwards with a pained expression. "Please do something quick! We can't sleep with all the noise!"

"You poor things, having to deal with this. We will be helping, right Velvet?"

"Right!" Velvet turned to face the wife. "Where is the basement located?"

She nodded. "You can get in from the back of the house. Here's the key."

She handed them an ornate key, complete with some strange green jewel on the end that wasn't emerald.

Satisfied, Velvet ushered the still slightly shocked Rarity out of the room. "Ve are wasting time. Let's ged zis over with. Zhe day isn't over yet.

* * *

"So, zis is ze spot. Hand me ze key?" *unlocking sounds* "I could have very vell done zat myself, you know?"

Rarity pouted. "I would let you, but you said you wanted to get this over with quickly. Besides, there's no way for us to undo the action, is there? Hm? Now, let's go."

The two trotted down the steps into... a large basement largely unfitting with the scenery outside. It was made of hard stone, possibly some sort of granite. It also branched off into two other caverns, but they were blocked off by... something.

Rarity confusedly looked at the purple tendrils, before making up her mind to investigate them further. She walked directly into them, attempting to push through-

ow owie fire hot hot

-before quickly jumping away back onto the cool stone before getting burnt.

Velvet rushed over to the groaning unicorn on the hard stone. "Zere's no way ve can get through zat..." She pointed back to the entrance. "Ve should think about zis more. Let us get out of here."

Nodding, Rarity stepped back onto her hooves and with Velvet, headed to the door. But just as they reached the entrance, the same purple flames erupted from the entrance, blocking their exit!

"Vat?" Velvet checked the flames blocking their escape. "Hm! Nozing zat ze ize bueen can't conquer!" She readied a small ice shard, which she shot at the base of the fire. Unfortunately, something got in the way of the blast. Something big and hairy.

Something black.

Rarity stumbled backwards upon seeing the wolf, and right into two other, smaller ones. She screamed, but at least this time it was warranted. 'Velvet! What are these... THINGS?!"

The reindeer stood in an attacking stance. "Vell, I haffe to vait no longer for zis. Predators! Zey are our enemies. I hope you vill fight, as I must remain focused."

Gulp.

**Ready? Fight!**

Well, at least Velvet was having an easy time with her opponent. She was dancing circles around it, all while gracefully attacking it from all angles from ice shards and statues. True to her nature, as well as practical.

Rarity was in the middle of a two-on-one. Even though the other wolves were smaller, they still posed some threat. Well! No point in messing around! She picked up a paper fan with her magic and opened it towards the aggressors.

Both wolves strafed around her, but with a simple sidestep, slammed into each other instead. The paper fan was smacked over their rears, bowling them over (somehow).

She conjured up a large gemstones and held them in place with her magic. Apparently, the fan slap was enough for one, but only one of the wolves. The other one stood at a greater distance, bristling at the pony.

"Ugh... could you please kindly remove the purple... things? blocking our way? Pretty please? Or I'll cream you with this crystal. I think that's a fair deal, do you?"

Apparently not, at it lunged at her again. She released the gemstone... which fell straight down on the dwarf canine, crushing it with 400 carats of force.

**It's over!**

With the end of the battle, the purple flames dissipated, leaving the exits of the room open again.

Rarity looked at her companion, who seemed unharmed. "So where to now?"

Velvet stepped back to the entrance, judging which door was better. "Ze right one! I smell zomesing zere!"

"Right. Let's go." The two elegant females walked into the next room, where a few barrels lined the walls.

"Ugh, just pine? Cherry gives a much better flavor."

Velvet noticed a small mug of... ale sitting on a small shelf. Realizing that Rarity probably wouldn't be one to drink it, she picked it up herself.

_**GAINED ~~MUG O' MAGICAL OAT BREW~~ ANTI-COFFEE!** -3 Energy -4 Cognition Gonna kill you and I'll keep killin' you and I'll never, cause you're 'onna be dead and then I'm gonna kill you-_

Rarity wasn't focused on Velvet, though; she was more focused on the fact that it was a dead end and that the dust in the room was absolutely RUINING her mane. "Well, there doesn't seem to be anything here... so we should- AAAAH!"

Purple flames erupted from the floor where the exit was, again. Sighing, Velvet came to the realization that "Zis vill probably happen in EVERY room ve enter. And now I suppose zat-"

A large snake and two small wolves spawned in the room.

"Uv course."

* * *

**3...2...1...Go!**

_Discord... I don't think that playing Smash Bros right now is a good idea._

"Well, why not? I need a break from this show, anyways."

_But-_

"Oh, shut up. I'm only going to do this for a little bit. Almost- Got him! Take that, you spammer!"

_Good old Game and Watch. The only guy who can make Samus actually play the game._

* * *

**It's over!**

The large snake disappeared at the sheer number of projectiles shot at it. Rarity, just to make sure, shot a couple more gems at the spot the snake was lying before.

"Well, that was certainly something." She looked around, then pointed at the room's corner. "Say, have you noticed those orbs?"

"No..." Velvet crouched over them. "Although...I fink we should take zem with us. Zey might be useful."

Rarity nodded in agreement. "Well, with that done, where to next?"

Of course, Velvet had an answer. "Vell, since zis room doesn't lead anyvere, I suppose the next logical place to go vould be in the ozer direction. Correct?"

"Right. Let's not waste any time. I so terribly want to get out of here. This place is giving me the chills. And from what Meadowbrook told me, chills are not good for the skin."

The two queens, one of ice and one of drama, backtracked to the previous room. Fortunately, it didn't seem like any new predators would spawn there, so they enjoyed a nice rest before entering the new rooms. This one was longer, with a single archway separating the room in two. The first part contained nothing in particular, but the second one held a table.

And a VERY angry cat.

"Just az I zuspected."

"A cougar? Ugh! I knew I should have brought more ponies to help me..."

"Cougar?" Velvet shook her head as readied her ice shards for the fight with the large cat.

* * *

_Welcome back to Discord and "Italics" review. So how are you liking this story so far, Discord?_

"Personally, I think the characterizations of the four we've met so far are... alright. The alpaca is clearly the best of all of them."

_Agreed. Even without a word, her actions are communicated so well._

"The story seems to be decent as well, though I think that the movie with the bees had a better plot."

_Wholeheartedly agree._

"But, I will say, I am LOVING the action scenes! Although I hope Fluttershy is safe..."

_Gee, that's depressing. Well, tune in next time, where we discuss the hit classic, Super Mare-io Bros!_

* * *

*ahem* The fight with the puma went well, again. Keeping the opponents at bay worked surprisingly well, with Velvet taking down the larger opponent with her extra skills, and Rarity taking down the smaller ones with her telekinesis and literal rocks.

"Hmmm..." Rarity was looking at the table with her eye for beauty. Sitting on it was a lonely plush of a reindeer. "I wonder why anyone would leave a positively good doll down here... I'll take it."

_**GAINED THE TEDDY DEER!** +2 Care +4 AWWWWW! Just hoping that it doesn't come to life._

Past the next doorway was a rather long walkway, flanked on one side by a wall, and on the other, an underground lake that was presumably filled with sewage. Rarity in particular cringed at the scent.

Dotting the floor were more black orbs. Similarly to the last few, Rarity packed them into a purse she had brought, for safekeeping.

The hallway wasn't very long, and neither pony nor reindeer were feeling very chatty, especially with the stench, so they passed through it noiselessly to the next room, where they were immediately blocked in by the purple flames and beset upon by two mountain lions and a large wolf. Not that they couldn't handle these as well.

* * *

"Gee, it sure is boring around here."

_My lord, this peace is what all true warriors strive for._

"I just wonder what Fluttershy is up to!"

_My lord, Fluttershy's location is not known for now._

"Hmmm... How can we help?"

_It says, "Only 'she' can find Fluttershy."_

"Oh, boy! I'll grab my stuff!"

_No, you aren't. You don't even know where she is._

"*ugly crying*"

* * *

One last room. Neither of the party had gotten hurt thus far, but Rarity in particular was starting to feel tired.

More predators appeared in front of them, this time a wolf, snake, and panther.

"Is this the last of them?"

Velvet looked at the advancing predators, then back at Rarity. "Almost... But I think zere's zomezing about zis place..."

With that... Rarity pulled out a roll of fabric and started twirling it around the enemies. "Well, we'll find it sooner or later. But for now," emphasizing it with a hoof slap to the wolf's jaw, "SHOW ME THE BLOODY."

* * *

"Hello readers! It's viewer mail time!"

_This one comes from someone named "NotSoDogNinja." Dear Discord, Are you messing with the story again?_

"Oh my goodness! How did you guess! Ha! You're better than I thought!"

_Thanks, Discord! This next letter also comes from "NotSoDogNinja." Dear Discord, If you have this letter read to you, I'm going to ban you from the rest of the chapter._

"..."

_Thanks, Discord! This has been viewer mail time! And thank YOU for joining us!_

_Dear weird unspecified italic writing, You're welcome._

* * *

Finally. Discord's gonna stop interrupting. And the protagonists have finished off the predators, still with nary a bruise. Velvet said to Rarity, "I fink ve are almost done here... Although zis place... I've veen looking for it for a long time! It is clear to me zat zis is where the Predators are coming from in Reine! Through the door!"

And through the door, was the Altar of Appetence. A sacred place for the Deerfolk, before being lost to ruin and sewage.

At the end, stood a door. Rarity ran down the windy pathway leading to it, past the flowing water, past some extra black prbs, and a large pit. Velvet followed more slowly, taking in the extra details of the place.

"Velvet Look at this door!" Rarity pointed at the pictures of the predators lining all sides of it. "These carvings look like the brutes we faced earlier!"

Velvet stood on guard, at more of a distance away from the door and Rarity. "I don't like ze look of zis... Ve shood find a way to seal it-" An ominous rumble interrupted her. The eyes of all of the predators on the door started to glow with an evil, red glow. The door opened up, and the largest predator yet lumbered out. Upon noticing the ungulates, it roughly pushed them into the pit.

To their credit, they recovered from the shock quickly. As they looked up at their aggressor, it growled, and stomped on the floor, causing more predators to appear on the other sides of the pit. Two wolves, two snakes, and four cougars were looking down at them as well.

Rarity wasn't having any of it. "Do I have to fight you? You'll positively ruin my mane if you fight me!"

Seemingly in response, two wolves and a cougar teleported around the champions.

"Ohhh......"

**Fight!**

Wolf 1 headed for Velvet first, who simply put up an ice shield to block all attacks. Rarity did something similar with her two enemies.

The wolf started to get aggressive. He started attacking from all angles, trying to make an icebreaker. Realizing this, Velvet created an extra statue from her shield, deftly knocking it away.

Rarity, on the other hand was utilizing the tried and true method of “run.” She stood at more of a distance, almost up to a wall, and formed a few gems.

Of course, Velvet was having no problem keeping her wolf at a distance. Her disjointed ice spikes was keeping her wolf well on its toes. Eventually, it reached its breaking point, bursting into black smoke like all the others beforehand. A snake jumped down to take its place, where it promptly spit its venom from its fangs. Right into Velvet’s eyes.

Being in a two on one, Rari doubled down on her fighting, even bringing her hooves and horn into combat. Block, jab, hook! Finally, the puma was downed, and the wolf was in critical condition. A second one jumped down in its place and headed towards Velvet, as Rarity sent the wolf running. Straight towards velvet with a hungry glance.

Partially blinded, Velvet stumbled around, even tripping over one of her spikes. She faceplanted on the floor, HARD, but before the wolf was able to get over to her, it too was tripped, this time by a fancy tablecloth trick that swept his legs out.

With all wolves downed, a puma and one other snake jumped into position. The snake attempted to fire at Rarity, but was repelled by a silk fabric that fluttered in the still air. After the successful block, Rarity used the silken threadwork to bag up both snake and cougar. Tying a knot in the top for good measure, she slammed the bag onto the ground, spikes from Velvet aiding in this process. With the bag in useless shreds, the panther jumped up and snarled, before calling down its buddies from up top.

Velvet had defeated her snake like she did with all the others. By beating it in a snowball fight, by which the snake lost by a mile. She looked at Rarity, who seemed willing to fight. Now, roles were reversed, as Rarity took out the larger opponents with Velvet providing coverage. And they were doing surprisingly well. Rarity had quite some brawls in the past, and with her magical abilities (and fan), she was easily keeping the predators down. Velvet had no reason to be worried at all; she was standing far enough away to not get hurt. With her long range ice eruptions, none of the predators could touch her. Eventually, all pumas were downed, leaving Velvet and Rarity in the pit.

Rarity sighed, and flopped down, near Velvet. Velvet gave her a hug. Rare for her, but she sort of felt like she needed it.

Suddenly, she remembered. "Ze large one!"

Noticing a doorway at the bottom of the pit, Rarity and Velvet scampered up to the edge of the rim to reach the bear, who hadn't moved the entire fight. It slowly turned to them, as they got into an attacking stance...Then teleported away in a similar fashion as the others. As he did, the door's eyes returned to their slaty gray color.

"Vell..." Velvet said. "Ze noise issue haz been zolved. I do not want to be in zis altar anymore. Let us make haste out of zis dark place."

"Agreed. Oh, UGH!" Rarity pointed at a few splatterings of black on her fur as they walked away. "I just took a shower..."

* * *

Back on the surface, Rarity quickly took out a small makeup pad and dotted her face and barrel with it. "Well, now that that's done with, where should we go next? There's still much of the city left to explore."

"Vell... ve are in ze vicinity... And I'm sure Blitzen vouldn't mind."

They walked a block or two away, when Velvet stopped in front of a courtyard. "Behold! The Elite Seven's mansion!"

Rarity gasped in wonder at the rather tall structure. Predictable. "Uv course you're impressed. Who wouldn't be? They're the SEVEN!"

In front of the building stood a cow and an orange pony, listening to a reindeer talking. Judging by their stance, they had been standing there for a while.

The reindeer threw a chest in front of herself, and they opened the contents of it, revealing a plush of an ice sprite. They then went on their way. Good riddance to them.

Upon noticing Velvet, the deer stepped aside, as well as a deer that was in remarkable likeness to her. The chatty reindeer immediately started gushing over the ice queen, as a confused Rarity watched from the sidelines.

"Miss Velvet the High and Mighty! Wow! Why are you here?"

Velvet very narrowly managed to avoid bashing their skulls of the speaker in. That one was pretty annoying. She turned towards two other reindeer standing in the front of the building.

One of them was the shy Dancer. Upon noticing her, she stammered, "Oh, Velvet! H-hello! I wasn't expecting anyone today.” She looked at the reindeer she was talking to, who shook his head. “Sorry, we aren’t having any visitors to the Elite’s house. Come back in a couple of days, and we’ll be sure to have some coffee for you and your... friend!”

At the very least, Velvet was alright with that outcome for once. After all, it WAS their rules.

“Oh! There’s Cashmere!” Rarity was looking over at the shop in question, a little ways down the street. She quickly let Velvet know, before trotting off towards it.

Velvet was fine with her leaving. She needed a bit more time to herself. Just what she needed.

She didn’t really tell anyone, but when no one was looking, she liked to sometimes slip into an alleyway to think to herself. Besides, most of them weren't dirty in the slightest. The sanitation department, she had to admit, did their jobs well. And also got paid well.

She sat down an a random barrel. Sturdy. Nice and surprisingly warm. Must have been some sort of ale.

Also nice to get away from the crowds once in a while. Mostly because there wasn't even a crowd for once, but that was beside the point. Also, what is wrong with the tastes of the reindeer who designed this alleyway? So uncultured...

She heard a noise from the front of the alleyway. She pricked her ears in expectance, and heard a...rustic, ugh, voice. And female. It said, "She wants to go to a store? Well, good luck to 'er. Thought Ah herd somethin' in 'ere."

The voice came from a pony. Upon noticing the reindeer sitting on the barrel, she walked up to her and inspected her from all angles, before nodding.

"Howdy! Whut're yew doin' in a place lahk this?"

Velvet didn't give anything. "Fascinating, isn't it? This...erm... barrel is simply divine! I've been staring at it for days! Simply days!"

The orange pony didn't seem to buy it. "An' what's so special about it? Just a regular barr-"

"Because! It is an ornate version! See zese markings on the staves? Zat's zhe markings of a very old creator. Zese staves are also made of a particular type of wood; cherry. Gives a better flavor to zhe ale anyway. I don't see how zhe ozers can stand not having ze fruity flavor, but I don't judge ungulates based on flavor."

On the topic of judging ungulates by flavor, have any of you noticed that 5/7 of the Foenum 7 are edible? The only two that aren't are only inedible because they don't actually exist. Huh.

"Still, how plebeian! Ze sprites make ze ale. Zis one was probably grand. Good winter sprites are so hard to find zese days. Do you agree?"

"Huh?" The half asleep pony woke up. "Uh... well... Ah don't 'ave winter sprites, whatever they are, from where Ah come from."

"No?" Velvet was immediately invested in the conversation. "So who styles your floof? Who brings you oats? Who carries you from place to place?"

The pony, still with the same tired expression, responded, "Ah reckon mahself?"

Eh. Might be worth the effort. "So! You seem like a fine, upstanding... pony as well. What brings you to Reine, darling?"

Something seemed to go off in the pony's head, but she didn't say it. "So, uh, forgive me if I forget any details, but... Y'know that decree that supposedly came from the Council of Ungulates, of the whatcha-ma-callits?"

Velvet was listening. "Mmmm hmmm... Yes?"

"Well, Ah'm teamin' up with one a' the champions! The champion of the prairie!"

Shouldn't have said that. Should NOT have said that.

Velvet smiled sweetly. "Oh, really? Well, zen..." She raised her volume level to "drama queen meltdown." "I'M CHAMPION OF ZE TUNDRA! Ze greatest fighter in all of Reine!"

She pulled out a little satchel of glowing powder, which she sprinkled onto herself. "EN GARDE!"

* * *

Ah, yes. The Cash and Cap! Still there. Cashmere was standing out in front, so Rarity threw up a hoof in greeting.

She suddenly noticed that there was someone else in front. A cow? That was strange... So this dimension didn't only have reindeer? She wouldn't have gotten that from just listening to these deer...

The cow took out a small cube of salt from a knapsack stationed on her back. Cashmere said something to it, before shaking her head. The cow looked a little downcast, Cashmere said something else, and then the calf looked a bit surprised, before confidently telling her off. Cashmere simply shrugged before smiling and walking back into her shop.

The cow walked away, taking a final glance at the stand before walking fairly close to Rarity.

Suddenly, the calf looked up at Rarity and broke out into a fake-ish smile. It shouted a "Howdy!" to her before walking closer.

After recovering from the shock of having a COW of all creatures come over and greet her like that, Rarity managed to stammer a greeting back as well.

"Come around 'ere often?"

"Huh?" Rarity asked. Realizing that this was a real, sentient being, she started to talk as her usual self again. "Oh! No, I'm just visiting this location."

The cow, now being noted as female, shook her head. "This reindeer drives a hard barter fer most a' 'er prices. What was 'er name? Cashmere? Certainly earned it."

"Yes of course." Rarity used her magic to style her hair more acceptably. "On the topic of names, what's yours?"

"Arizona, the bonna-fide Champe'en 'a the prairie! An yours?"

The accent and mannerisms seemed... extremely familiar. Almost like...

"Rarity. It's a pleasure to meet you." She giggled. "My, if one of my friends saw you, she'd throw a fit!"

"Oh, really? Why d'you say that?"

"Because, she's never seen a talking cow before! And she's just like you!"

"Aw, shucks!" Arizona kicked a hind leg awkwardly to the side. "That's jus' like the pony I met earlier!"

Rarity laughed again. Then she pulled out a small makeup kit for a few last touchups. "Well, they must have been in just as much of a shock as I was! Did you get her name?"

"Sure did! We're travelin' partners now! 'Er name's Applejack!"

[beat]

"Applejack?! Th-that's exactly who I was thinking about!"

"Really?"

"Yes! You must show me to her immediately; I had no idea Applejack was with you! I was worried about her and the rest of my friends!" She packed up her makeup kit and faced the cow with a large smile.

The cow tipped her head, then shrugged. "Oh, all right. She's back over there."

Rarity grabbed the cow with her magic and gave her a nice hug. "Thank you, darling! You're really just like her!"

Arizona led her to where Applejack supposedly was, only to be met with... Nothing.

Rarity turned to Arizona and asked, "Where is she?"

Suddenly, a western accented voice yelped out in pain from an alleyway. A thin sheet of ice also emerged from on the inside.

"Woah! Some kinda ice monster?!" Before Rarity could stop her, Arizona ran headlong at a breakneck pace towards the alleyway. Upon reaching the entrance, all she saw was a reindeer shooting some shards at AJ, who was backed into a corner.

"Not on my watch!" AZ pulled out her lasso. "Time for a good ol' fashioned hoedown!"

"Ugh! Could you at least take a bath first?"

**Fight!**

Using her lasso seemed like the best idea to Arizona, so that's exactly what she did. Lassoed the reindeer! She pulled her towards herself, freeing Applejack from the sub-zero bullet hell in the process. Applejack tipped her hat to Arizona before sliding in and giving a few good hits on the ice queen before she ultimately got tossed away.

"Hmff! Vell, you don't want to take zis ze eazy way out, no? Well, have at you!" She started to spin rapidly in circles. "TOOOOOOORNAAADOOOOO!" Quite suddenly, a large tornado spawned where she was standing, the winds knocking her opponents away a fair distance. She poked her head out of it, facing her opponents. "Now ve fight!" She sent a large ice chunk hurtling towards the cowgirls, which were easily jumped.

What wasn't so easy was avoiding the other attacks she threw at them, especially with the slippery surface of the ice sheet. Arizona in particular was struggling to keep her balance along with not getting creamed, but was somehow managing.

But Applejack reached Velvet first, and with that came a good ol' beatdown! She knocked her out of the tornado completely, after which it dissipated. A single kick with a hind hoof sent her hurtling towards the wall that AJ was trapped in front of not moments ago.

With nowhere to go and on the verge of panicking, Velvet attempted to block any further attacks with a shield, only for it to get snuffed out as the cow rammed her chest, and tossed her back towards the center.

"Ha! Yer in over yer 'ead!" Arizona crouched down. "Here's the big one! Ya'll in fer a-"

"STOOOOOP!"

The cowgirls halted their actions, Arizona particularly midleap. She ungracefully faceplanted right into the cold, hard, icy floor.

"Rarity?"

Huh. Well.

So, I guess that means that

**It's Over!**

"Rarity, it's you!" Applejack attempted to run over and give her a hug, but lost her footing on the ice and crashed into a nearby wall instead.

"Of course it's me, darling! I'm never one to not help!" She turned back to Velvet. "And YOU are not doing that!"

Rarity gracefully skated over to the bellyflopped Arizona and the downed Velvet. "She should not have done that. Velvet, say you're sorry."

...

"VELVET, SAY YOU'RE SORRY."

"Fine. You have bested me."

AZ scraped her front hoof on the ice. "Still doesn't give an explanation for why she attacked mah partner 'ere!"

"Because," Velvet hollered, "you're the Champion of the Prairie! Ve MUST fight!"

"Now hold on just a minute! You just said that you were 'Champion' from the start. You never told me you had to fight other ungulates!" Rarity yelled. Velvet simply looked on with an expression that could be summed up in the word "Um."

Arizona shook her head. "Sorry. Shoulda' told ya the Champe'ens hafta compete in this tournament to get to seal the predators as Key Keepers."

"Oh." Well, that complicates diplomacy a bit...

"Uh...Applejack, what do you-"

Suddenly, the alleyway was closed off completely as the bear teleported back in! To ensure that no ungulate would leave until he was done with them, purple flames appeared at the exit.

Rarity hurriedly turned to the other three. "You won't fight each other now will you?" Not waiting for a response, Rarity spawned a couple of gems in the air. "GOOD!"

**Fight!**

Rarity released the gemstones, sending them flying towards the bear. It swiped a massive claw, knocking them all away without any visual damage done.

Seeing that it had no effefct, rarity started to get worried. "How do we-" Applejack and Arizona ran past her, comically spinning her around on the still-slippery surface of the ice rapidly.

Arizona and Applejack flank the bear, and pummeled him with lower attacks to his legs. This was much more noticeable to him, actually making him grunt in pain.

Having had enough of the cowgirls jabs, he smashed the ground with his heavy body, creating a shockwave consisting of broken ice and wind, pushing both AZ and AJ away. Velvet and Rarity ran forwards and jumped at his face, as Arizona righted herself and smashed the ground, tripping it.

While he was down, Velvet blew a smaller blast of ice from her mouth directly at his nostrils, as Rarity was taking Velvet's quote "Staby staby!" with stride. The bear was showing more and more signs of pain from each hit, and it seemed to know what to do.

A slash of claws hit Rarity, knocking her into the far wall, which she slid down like a doll. It followed up with a roar that blew nearly everyone else over, forcing everyone to crouch.

While Arizona and Applejack could do little but hunker down and wait for the winds to subside, Velvet came in with a low icicle that stabbed straight forward, right into the bears gut. An extra statue popped out the top, sending the bear upwards It attempted to right itself, but to no avail.

Velvet snapped an order to the others present. "You! Cow! Get me into ze air! Orange pony! Keep ze bear in his place!" She ran forwards, then jumped up into the air.

Not stopping to think, Arizona and Applejack followed her orders blindly. Applejack took out her lasso and threw the end of it upwards, quickly bringing the ursa down faster than a shooting star, while Arizona ran directly under Velvet and used her head and strong neck to headbuck her higher.

Now acceptably high, Velvet started to barrage the bear from above with icicles while Applejack held it in place as it writhed around in pain and to try to get an early freedom. Just before Velvet landed, she spun around in a few quick circles, blowing both bear and lasso away from Applejack.

The bear lay on the ground, then stood up wobblily. The flames at the entrance of the alleyway dissapated, as the bear lumbered off with a grunt.

Which is absolutely what it would have done if it wasn't tripped by Rarity using the same tactic as before.

Rushing forwards, Arizona jumps on his head to make sure he was down, while Velvet started to spin around again.

"Tornado!" This time, she sent the tornado straight at the hapless bear, nearly picking up Arizona as well. "CHILL OUT!" As soon as the tornado appeared, it contracted into nothing, entrapping the bear in a pillar of ice. It broke, and the great grizzly sagged down on the floor, motionless!

**It's over!**

Velvet stood over the defeated bear, which disappeared. Rarity and the others fighting with her were cheering her on, for her stunning performance.

Not to be one who is modest, even when hurt, Velvet threw her hooves in the air in victory.

"Alright." Arizona took the knapsack off of her back, revealing the black orbs from earlier. "No fightin' each other fer' now." She extended her front hoof in alliance.

Velvet looked at the hoof, face holding some emotion that was somewhere between disgust, concern, and thrill, then begrudgingly took the bovine's hoof.

After the armistice, and a short rest, Velvet stomped her hoof on the ground. "Now vat?"

"Let's take a rest at my house, this time! There is positively enough beds for everyone here back at the Boutique."

To the rest of the group, that sounded like the best idea for now. All four of them started to walk towards Rarity's boutique, Velvet giving general directions towards that part of the city.

A single head poked out of a shop in the middle of the street. "Are they gone? Did they take care of the predators? Phew! For once I didn't jinx it! Woo! Woo. Woo... I'm going to keep hiding."

* * *

"Wow... Ah had no idea that Velvet 'ere went through alla' this. You helped 'er open up?"

"Why of course, darlings! I can't just let someone like her stay like this, can I?" They rounded a corner, where Rarity's home was soon visible.

"We're here! The Carousel Boutique!" Both Velvet and Arizona seemed rather impressed with it. Surprising for Velvet, considering she found all reindeer things... superior.

Applejack sighed with relief. "Alright! My hooves need a-restin'! 'Specially after travelin' through that cave."

Suddenly, Rarity noticed three figures standing on the roof, with an ice statue between them. "Wait! What are those...things doing on my house?"

Applejack squinted, trying to get a better view. "That's Spitfih'! They're throwin' 'er off the roof! An' are they... A pen, pink thing, and wooden block?"

AZ did a few short hops. "Let's get 'em!"

Them's runnin' herds!

And run they did, towards the boutique, some tea, and three very strange objects.

* * *

Pen: Okay! Ready?

Blocky and Eraser: Yep!

Pen: Three... Two... One!

Blocky and Eraser: Hup!

*Shattering noises*

Blocky: Dang it. She got out.

Eraser: Now what?

?: You! What are you doing here?

Pen: Freeing a pony. Why?

Rarity: No, I meant, what are you doing on top of my boutique?

Applejack: Should Ah kick 'em off too?

Arizona: I second that.

Blocky: How did you get up here?

Velvet: Zhe door uv course. Where else?

Eraser: Can't we just talk about this?

Pen: Yeah! We even finished the dresses!

Rarity: You did? Wait just a moment! Don't attack them yet! Let me see!

Blocky: Ooooooo kayyyyy? I should probably tell you that-

Rarity: Where are they! They aren't where I left them.

Pen: Oh, yeah, Mrs. Collins liked them so much, she took them with her and paid, like, 1.5 times the amount you asked for. Money's in the cash register on the rightmost compartment. I also added a 20% salt tip.

Rarity: Really, darlings?! That's positively wonderful! Thank you, thank you! Is there any way I can repay you?

Pen: Well, if you could-

Blocky: Wait... about the kicking thing...

Rarity: Yes?

Blocky: The reindeer.

Velvet: Yes? Vat? No vey! Away! Hooves off! Hooves, OFF. Whaaaa- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Blocky: OOOOOOHHH! GET PRANKED! GET PRANKED BROAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! *splintering noises*

Applejack: That'll teach ya! Oh... Is 'e?

Eraser: Yep. Looks like it. Great job, you just killed Blocky!

Applejack: Uh, I didn't mean-

Eraser: Don't worry. I know you didn't. Since I'm cool, I won't brutally murder you as well.

Arizona: Uh... an' you...?

Pen: Nope. I ain’t a fighter. Ooh, right in the dumpster.

Rarity: With that out of the way... would you two like some tea?

Eraser: Nah.

Pen: Actually, I'd be down! Been a while! Also, we could really use an explanation on why we're here now... I think it's an okay idea, Eraser.

Eraser: Whatever.

Rarity: Yes, we'll explain all we know. But let me put on the kettle for you.

Blocky: Can I join, too?

Applejack: Whut? Ah saw yew dah right in front a' mah eyes! How're yew back up 'ere?

Blocky: The door, of course. Where else? Got the reindeer too!

Velvet: *Reindeerish profanities*

Blocky: Hah! For a prank, throw someone of an opposing team off of a building and into a dumpster! Then, when someone tries to take revenge, fake your death, come back, and throw her off again!

*This program was brought to you by:  
Blocky's Funny Doings, International.*

Velvet: Oh, mother of Foenum! Someone, help!

Pen: Actually nah. Bad idea. We're outnumbered, anyways. Let's all just cool down, and have a nice drink.

Eraser and Blocky: Fine, whatever.

Pen: Situation sorted. Let's get some info!

Everyone but Velvet: Yeah!

Velvet: Lutefisks! All of you! Lutefisks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some news on the future of this thing. I am only going to write up this thing up to the point where I am unable to make any more crossover chapters between similar characters. After that, there's too much uncertainty in the story for me to make it consistent. Therefore, only up until the chapter I write Rainbow Dash and Tianhuo until I stop. Then when Chapter 2 gets released, I'll start writing more on this story again. HOWEVER. I will do some shorter crossover one-shots and extra scenes between ungulates already covered and work on revising and editing my other story, On the Lamb, until Chapter 2 drops. Don't worry if I'm gone from this for a while; I'll still work on it, but I just need the official materials, ya know?
> 
> But yeah. After I hit all 6 crossovers (Not including Shanty; she will join later though), I'm going to stop until I get more information on the story. But when that happens, be on the lookout for Them's Friendin' Herds EX(tra scenes that didn't fit)!


	9. The Cerulean Magician's Trials, and the Cutie Map Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oleander and Twilight go for a brief stop in the unicorn village, then head to the castle with a friend in tow. Also challenges.

_And now, for the truly mysterious inner machinations of Twilight's mind:_

_OHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTWHERE'STHECASTLEWHEREISITWHEREISITWHEREISITCOMEONITISN'TTHATFARTWILIGHTYOUKNOWTHATBUTWHATIFITISWHATWILLIDOOHTHISISALLMYFAULTTHISISALLMYFAULTTHISISALLMYFAULTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTOHSHOOTWHATWOULDCELESTIADOOHGOSHOHGOSH-_

_This concludes the truly mysterious inner machinations of Twilight's mind._

* * *

Fortunately for them, they did not have any more encounters with any regular predators, although they have to take down a single timberwolf on the way back. And judging by the good time they had made, it was unlikely that they would meet any more before reaching the castle.

"Whew! Almost... there!"

"It took long enough." Oleander stared at the sky, and the sun, which showed that it was now dawn. "At least now I can get Fred back with me."

Twilight looked around the forest canopy. "Alright, it should be in this general location."

"But where, exactly?"

Twilight looked around again, then sheepishly smiled back at Oleander, a strange squeaking sound being heard as she did.

Oleander sighed. "I'm going to take that as an 'I don't know.'" She turned away from Twilight and put her hoof on her brow. "Great. Now what do we do?"

"Let's search around the forest? That seems like the obvious solution."

Oleander's ears pricked up. "I think I know where we are. We're on the outskirts of my old village."

"Well, that seems like a decent place to start. Let's go!" Twilight said as she pushed aside a couple of branches with her magic, and leading the way into the forest.

Fifteen seconds later, she came back out again, as she realized Oleander wasn't following her. She had remained at the entrance, not really wanting to lose even more trust than she already had.

"Oleander? Is something wrong?"

Oleander remained aloof, staring at random leaves as they fluttered down from Twilight's disturbance.

"Oleander, what's wrong?" Twilight studied her face a while, before realizing, "Oh, you're afraid of what THEY think?" Twilight looked at the dark sorceress with concern in her eyes.

She faltered under the gaze of the princess, as if the voice came from someone much older than her. It was like that feeling when she was standing in front of all those other unicorns before. Just... calmer. Not wanting to criticize, but genuinely to try to understand. Certainly not what Oleander had faced those years ago.

She inhaled, attempting to keep them in, before relenting. "Well... no, but actually... yes?"

Twilight walked up to her, nudging her with a knee. "Don't worry! How bad can it be? Besides, I'm backing you up!"

She muttered under her breath. "Alicorn, you have no idea."

At least Twilight seemed to be happy. Oleander allowed herself, reluctantly, to be taken into the forest, and her old home.

As they approached the edge of unicorn village, Twilight looked confused, but ultimately shrugged it off. Probably thought about why Oleander wasn't living with the others. Well, that was obvious.

The alicorn and unicorn briskly wandered into the middle of the houses, all of them having some cheerful unicorns in front of them. In the center, a light blue unicorn was performing magic tricks to an adoring crowd on a makeshift stage in front of a cart, while most others were watering some plants for their own amusement.

Upon seeing Oleander, all of the unicorns stared at her for about half a minute. After recovering from their initial shock, they were all boarded up inside their houses within fifteen seconds.

"Huh... Maybe you're right..."

Oleander held her head high. "See? They fear me for my dabblings in the 'dark arts!'" She lowered her voice. "Do I have to break out the crayons to explain it to you again?"

Twilight shook her head, the same sparkles form earlier floating down to the ground. "I don't think you need to. Hey! One of the unicorns doesn't seem scared of you! Wait... isn't that-"

True to her word, one unicorn, the performer, was still outside. She shouted to the ungulates in the houses. "Hey! Aren't you going to wait and see the great, and powerful, Trrrrrrrixie!, do some SPECTACULAR card tricks?!"

"Trixie?!" Twilight ran over to the blue unicorn, who stopped her yelling and waved.

"Hello, Twilight. I wasn't expecting to see you. Here. How are you?"

"Eh. Okay." Twilight rubbed one hoof with another, while Oleander stayed behind with a slight amount of amusement showing on her face.

Trixie looked around, but didn't seem to notice Olenader. "Where's Starlight? I bet she'd be absolutely enthralled to see this new place!"

"She's at the Castle of Friendship, and believe me, I really don't think she's really 'enthralled' to be thrown in this dimension."

"Oh." Trixie magically levitated her props into a chest. She then attempted to pick up the chest, but it fell out of her grasp before she could get it into her cart. "Well... hmmm... Perhaps I could join you? I WOULD like to see Starlight again."

"Perhaps." Oleander said, bluntly.

Suddenly, Trixie started to scream, very loudly. She ran behind Twilight, ducking behind as much as possible, before peeking out from over her back. "S-s-sombra! Twilight, do something! Defeat him again! Or something! At least shoot him!"

Twilight explained, "Trixie, this is Oleander. she's a friend. And more importantly, NOT King Sombra. She's going to help us get out of here. A friend!"

Oleander extended a hoof in greeting, only for Trixie to slap it away, saying as she did, "If Twilight says you're a friend, I'll believe her. But I think I'm going to believe her from a distance. Alright? Alright."

Both alicorn and sorceress rolled their eyes. After that short fiasco, Oleander attempted to get them back on track. "I think we should get going now. It's past dawn, and by the time we get back to the castle, it will probably be past noon, at this rate."

With the party now up to three, all unicorns that weren't scared completely out of their wits started heading over to where they hoped the castle lay, Trixie starting up her conversations again at once.

* * *

"...And that is how the Great, and Powerful... Trrrrrrixie! defeated a colony of changelings all by herself! With a little help!"

As usual for Trixie, she was bragging about her accomplishments (mostly consisting of things she helped Starlight out with). While very annoying, Oleander was paying close attention to whatever she said. She found it VERY interesting, especially what Starlight had done. She apparently had the ability to remove skills from people, travel back in time, and mind control people. But it seems that she gave up that part of herself when she moved on from being alone and afraid. As in, she literally put a spell on herself that stripped her, or anyone else, from doing what she had done.

"Well, that's all there is to ME. Now, I am wondering why Twilight chose you over me or even Starlight in this little quest."

That was powerful magic... Only how to learn it.

"Yes, I would like to get to know your magical abilities more. Starlight might be surprised. Not that it could compare to mine, of course. Maybe later, though."

But to be completely honest, Trixie's antics were wearing on them, even on someone as friendly Twilight.

"Wait!" Trixie stepped directly in front of a very confused Oleander. "What's stopping me from seeing just how strong you are right now?" She pulled out a large magician's hat. "I, the Great, and Powerful, Trrrrrrixie! hereby challenge you to a duel!" Then she paced away, counting from one to ten as she did. Oleander, who decided to humor this little pony, did the same, just more slowly.

They stood in silence for a few more seconds, neither turning to face the other. "Psst! Twilight! Say fire for us!"

"Huh? Oh!" Twilight stood up from where she was dozing. She looked back and forth at the unicorns for a few seconds, then confidently shouted the line. "Fire!"

Before Trixie could even flinch, Oleander had turned around. She fired a blast of magic straight at the mare's large hat, knocking it clean off.

Trixie stood in shock, looking from the top of her head, to the now displaced hat. Oleander suppressed a chuckle as she taunted, "Well, that was quite anticlimactic."

Trixie started to throw a fit. "What? How could you beat the great, and powerful Trrrrixie! At what she does best?"

Twilight walked up with a smile on her face. "I don't know. That's the second time in a row you've lost a duel to someone else."

Trixie snorted. "Well, that was only one. I demand more challenges!" She turned to face the unicorns again, searching their faces for anything remotely resembling approval. Fortunately for her, neither of them seemed to be against the idea.

Oleander butt in. "Because you suggested them, I will let you pick the challenges. What's the fun in doing what I know?"

Trixie nodded. "Alright. That seems fair to Trixie. So, FIRST-"

**Challenge #1: Turn a rock into something else.**

"Hmmph! This should be easy! Let's see..."

Trixie attempted to pick up a rock with her magic. She strained it harder, attempting to change it into something else, but just wasn't able to and dropped it on the ground.

She tried again, focusing all of her magic into it, and finally managed to turn the rock into a nice looking teacup. "Ha!" She turned towards Oleander. "Try to beat tha-"

She stopped as she realized that Oleander was easily turning several rocks into crayons. She then pulled a couple of leaves and branches from a tree and congealed them together to create paper and an easel. She sat down on the grassy floor, and started to draw some outlines of shapes.

"Hmmph... Fine. You win again. But this next one will drive you up your metaphorical wall!"

**Challenge #2: Do a stage magic trick. Allowed: maximum of four props. Setup time: three minutes.**

"BEHOLD! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRRIXIE!"

Suddenly, the entire backstage exploded with fireworks. "Hmmm...That was unintended."

"Hmmm..." Oleander looked past the broken stage. "I don't know much about stage magic... But I know some...sleight of hoof." She produced a red shiny apple from behind Twilight's ear, then threw it on the sketches she had made earlier. The apple's juices formed a lively cubism version of an autumn scene, as Twilight clapped enthusiastically.

"Ugh... Fine! You win again!" Trixie threw her hat on the ground. "One more! Then I'll be satisfied."

**Challenge #3: Defeat one (1) Ursa Major.**

"No." "What is that?" "Doesn't matter."

**Challenge #3.1: Make one (1) drawing of yourself. A random entity will judge the resulting art.**

_Fifteen minutes later..._

"Aaaaaaaand... Done!" "Aaaaaaaand... Done!"

The two competitors walked over to Twilight, drawings in magic hand. Trixie motioned towards the sheets of paper. "Send them off!"

"Okay!" Twilight readied a small flame, which consumed the drawings quickly. "Now, we wait for the results!" She nervously looked around. "I hope whoever this goes to listen to the message I attached..."

* * *

*bonk*

Pen: Ow! What was that?!

Pen: Huh? Judge the drawings... one to ten... throw it in fire when you're done...

Pen: ...Ugh, fine. Where did this even come from?

Eraser: What's going on?

Pen: I got this message. It told me to judge some drawings.

Eraser: Like hosting a contest?

Pen: I guess. Done! That was easy. Pee-Ee-Enn! There! S-

Eraser: Wait! Don't send it with your name. We don't even know who sent it! Use a different name, or something. Just don't sign your own.

Pen: Uh... okay! Different name! Okay! Sending now!

Eraser: Good. What name did you use?

Pen: My legal name.

Eraser: Wait, wh-

Pen: Sent! Don't worry about it! Who'll even know?

* * *

The drawings came back in a flash of flame, that circled around itself before reforming into three sheets of paper. The competators eagerly checked the results of whoever reviewed their art.

They read:

_Oleander: Pretty decent line art. Lots of white space though. Looks like crayons. 5/10_   
_Trixie: What was that? A hippo with a hat? Pretty sloppy, messy color scheme. 2/10_   
_Whoever wrote the note: You didn't give a name or give a drawing, so 0/10._   
_Oleander wins. Signed ~🅱en_

"What?!" Trixie scanned the results again. "How couldn't he tell it was ME?!"

Twilight sighed and shook her head. "Maybe it was because he didn't know who you were?"

Trixie grunted, while Oleander reveled in the relatively painless victory. "Well, you've gotten what you've asked for. Now you know why Twilight chose myself over you; I have bested you in whatever you chose."

"Ugh... fine." Trixie bowed in defeat, and continued walking in the direction they were heading. Then immediately stopped and turned around.

"Actually, you know what?" Trixie said. "I will NOT stand for this! I hereby challenge you to a hoof-fight! Have at you!" She launched forwards, horn sparkling blue.

**Fight!**

Oleander stepped out of the way as Trixie fell flat on her face, eating dirt as she did.

Oleander crouched over the stage magician, hollering, "You're dumb. You lost! And you're dumb." as she did.

**It's over!**

"NO! I, the Great, and Powerful, Trrrrixie! Will not accept defeat!"

Oleander started to levitate, eyes starting to grow white. "Oh? Do you still want to fight?" Her hair started to fly in strange, unnatural angles akin to smoke, as the air around them started to turn a purple hue.

Trixie started to panic, and hit behind Twilight again, who stood on guard. "See, Twilight? Sombra! Take him down again! Please! I won't tell Pinkie Pie and Applejack to bake themselves in the oven again, Trixie promises!"

"I won't fight if YOU don't want to fight. Do you want to fight?" Oleander asked, in a booming voice.

Unable to do more than squeak, Trixie nodded in rapid succession, as Oleander stopped levitating and came back to earth.

"There. Now, with that out of the way, I see no reason why we should wait any longer here. We should make haste towards the castle at once."

"Alright." Twilight relaxed, Trixie still on her back. Oleander led the way through the underbrush, as they continued towards the castle.

"WAIT! You told Applejack and Pinkie Pie to bake themselves in the oven?!"

"Uh... a couple of days ago?"

* * *

The magical mares had reached the castle, at long last. It took them until sunset. Twilight sighed in relief, while Oleander cheered. "Finally! Now I can get Fred back with me."

Trixie looked at Oleander strangely. "Who's Fred?"

Oh boy.

All three of them walked through the front door of the castle with a few creaks. Twilight called out while in the main hall. "Hello? Is anypony here?"

"Twilight? Look at this," Oleander said. She pointed at a note. It read, _Meet us at the map. We'll explain everything. Don't get mad at Starlight. B̵r̸i̶n̴g̴ ̸c̸o̷o̷k̶i̷e̸s̴!̷_

"Oh! The map!" Twilight facehoofed in embarrassment. "That would be logical for them to be."

Oleander looked, for lack of a better term, buffaloed. "Map? What's so important about a map?"

Trixie threw a hoof around Oleander's neck, causing her to recoil in disgust. "Don't worry. The map is really important. Trrrrixie! can prove it!"

"Oh, please do," Oleander sarcastically replied.

Twilight led them through a meandering course through the castle. Somehow, it's paths were as convoluted as the paths in the ruins, but that was beside the point. Curses!

Soon, they walked through a hallway longer than the others, into what appeared to be some sort of throne room.

Simply amazing! One crystal throne after another surrounded an equally impressive crystal table. Sunburst was sitting in one with a three butterflies etched into it, while Fred's book was sitting opposite, on a throne with apple markings on its front.

Upon noticing them, Sunburst looked up from his...actually it was pretty hard to tell... and greeted them warmly. "Hi, Twilight! Hi, Trixie! Hello...uh... Colander? No...Coriander? Wait... hold on... I've got this...Oleander! Yeah! Hi!"

"Hello... Sunbutt."

"Eh, close enough, heh heeeeeh??..." Sunburst seemed slightly more panicky than normal, even breaking out into a strange grin that Oleander had never once seen.

Twilight looked at the seats. "Where's Starlight?"

"Well, uh... you see... uh..." Sunburst looked more and more unsure of himself by the second. "So, uh, like, you see, uh, the thing is... uh... try to understand... uh..." He fell silent.

"Sooooo-?"

"STARLIGHT IS MISSING!" he blurted out.

"WHAT?!" Twilight squawked. "I thought I told her to stay here with you!"

Fred's book started to talk. "Yes... but she just wasn't up to listening to you. First, her weird butt tattoo starts glowing, then it appears on the table, then she just up and left."

"Uh, did the book just talk?" Trixie asked, pointing at it.

"Yes, I did. Don't think about it too much."

"Well... I wouldn't call it a butt tattoo, Fred. I've already explained it to you. Oleander, do you know what cutie marks are?"

Oleander shook her head. Sunburst leapt off of the throne, and pulled off his starry robe that was only half as annoying as Trixie's hat. She was suddenly aware of a marking of a solar flare on his flank.

"Long story short, these marks, well, mark our destiny! Or personality. Whichever works. Like look at Twilight, and try to figure out what that means."

She did, and came up with royalty, leadership, and perhaps a greater destiny. "Yes? So?"

"Yes," he continued, motioning them to sit at the table as well. "You see, it is important because Starlight's cutie mark showed up at a spot, THIS spot." He motioned towards a port area. "...which means that there was something that the *ahem* friendship magic? To put it simply? wanted from her there, so she just... went."

Oleander raised her hoof to try to get more clarification, but Twilight beat her to talking.

"Wait..." Twilight motioned towards the entire table. "Is it me, or does the Map seem more... dense to you?"

Oleander scanned the "map." There were several places that she couldn't make out... but she saw several places from Foenum. The Tundra, the Prairie, Meadowlands, even entire cities and towns were in remarkable likeness on the map!

"You're right! The map must have picked up... wherever you come from, Oleander!"

"Well," Oleander finished, "Since we have an idea of where Starlight went, then there's no time to waste finding her." Her horn flared up, but quite literally out of nowhere, Twilight rested a single hoof on it. "Twilight? Explain yourself!"

"Hold on, we can't just teleport to her. What if we end trapped in a wall there? We haven't even been there yet, so there's no real telling where we go or what we find?"

Oleander snorted. Twilight was right, there. They could easily end up in a place that would lead them to a swift end. "So now what? We can't just stand here." "Well, actually we can, Olly." "Do NOT call me Olly."

"I guess we walk, then? It's the best option." Twilight suggested.

"Well, no use arguing with that, I suppose." Oleander yawned. "Though, now would be a good time for some sleep..."

"I agree." Fred popped out of his book in all of his demonic glory. "How about we all hit the sack for tonight?"

Everyone agreed with that. Not really wanting to search for any bedrooms in the castle, they found some blankets in a nearby closet, and had a peaceful sleepover in the throne room.

Except Trixie, who was far too alarmed by the sight of Fred to do anything but sit wide-eyed in silence. But that's still pretty cool.

* * *

Pen: Well, thanks, Rarity, for letting us stay here before! But I really think me and the boys should get going.

Rarity: Oh, no worries at all. Take care!

Applejack: So, you're gonna walk all the way back to where you were?

Pen: Nope! THIS IS HOW! *Dramatic pointing*

Everyone: *Audible silence*

Pen: So?

AZ: What is that?

Pen: It's a supervan!

Eraser: Yeah, I know that, but when did you steal this supervan from Freesmart?

Pen: Steal? What are you talking about? Nah, I just found it!

Blocky: From where?

Pen: For free! It was lying in a big puddle of glue, so I fished it out! Remember? I got the second most votes in IDFB!

Rarity: Well... that's certainly interesting. But will this get you where you need to go, quickly?

Pen: Yep!

AZ: 'Ow does it work?

Pen: Basically, fire. It's kinda complicated.

Blocky: Just... don't run anyone over. I don't think these guys have recovery centers.

Pen: Okay. Well, then, bye!

Everyone: BYE!

vroom vroom

Pen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (confident)

Eraser and Blocky: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (in fear)

*splintering noises* *crashing* *ouchy ouch*

Eraser: WHY DID YOU CRASH INTO THE FRONT GATE?!

Pen: IT WAS THE FASTEST WAY OUT OF HERE! THIS VAN IS REALLY DURABLE!

Blocky: WHO LET YOU DRIVE?!


	10. Chapter 9: Charged Plunders, Checked Portals, Chucked Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Paprika skip ahead to part 4. And meet a new friend.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Spike had finished off the broccoli. "Are each one of you guys not going to take my hint to SLOW DOWN?!"

"Aw, don't worry Spike! We're only going to go over this last one!" The ever optimistic Pinkie Pie was unable to be scared, even when riding on the back of a very erratic alpaca.

"TO WHERE?!"

"I have no idea, but it sure will be fun! Right, Paprika?"

"❄︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ♍︎♒︎♋︎◻︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎ ◆︎⬧︎♏︎♎︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♌︎♏︎ ♌︎♋︎⬧︎♏︎♎︎ □︎♐︎♐︎ □︎♐︎ 👌︎☞︎👎︎✋︎"

Pinkie Pie pat the still running Paprika on her head. "See? She knows what she’s doing!"

At the top of the mountain, there were at least bridges to run across as they careened to the whims of this strange creature.

"Pft, yeah! Running over mountains like nothing, to who knows where?! I couldn’t think of a place I’d rather be right now!" Spike sarcastically responded.

"Oh! You mean like those ruins over there?" Pinkie Pie pointed to some ruins in the mountain, a fair distance away.

"What? No!" Spike crossed his arms and shook his head. "I'm not letting you guys go there! Especially with me! Wait..." Suddenly, he realized that all three of them were standing right next to the ruins in question.

"Wow! That was fast!" Pinkie Pie hopped off of Paprika's back. "How'd you do that?!"

"☹︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎♉︎☠︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ⬧︎♋︎♓︎♎︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♍︎♒︎♋︎◻︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ♋︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎ □︎♐︎ ⧫︎♓︎❍︎♏︎📪︎ ♑︎□︎⧫︎ ⬧︎♋︎♎︎"

"Ooh! Interesting!" Somehow, Pinkie Pie had learned Paprika's strange language in the four hours it took to get to wherever they were now. Paprika was surprisingly talkative on the way there.

Spike started to back away. "No, no. Definitely not. Nope. Not on my list. Nope." He reached the bridge that had led them to this location. "I'm going to go back to Yakyakistan. See you if you get ou-woah!"

Paprika grabbed him by his neck with her mouth, pulling into another bone-crushing hug. After releasing him, she placed him next to the entrance again.

"Guess I’m not getting out of this one, am I?" Spike concluded, facepalming.

"N-ope!" "🕈︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎❖︎♏︎❒︎📪︎ ❍︎♋︎♎︎♏︎ ♋︎ ■︎♏︎⬥︎ □︎■︎♏︎"

"I guess I don’t have a choice..." Spike shrugged and sat on Pinkie's back, for a change.

"Hey! I think Adobo mentioned this one!"

"Really?" Finally some good news! "What is it called? What's in it?"

"I think it's called The Temple of Gloom! He said there are a lot of traps in this one!"

Spike stared at her, quite shocked.

She pat his little dragon head. "It’ll be fine, just don’t worry too much! Right, Paprika?" "*phhhhhpt*"

 _Enter into the temple and advance the story?_  
Onward, to glory!  
Halt, I must inspect the area further.  
[Do I have a choice? No. I guess I’ll just go, then.]

"Let's go!" Pinkie Pie and Paprika shared a warm chuckle, while Spike had a nice shiver, as they walked into the temple laid before them.

As soon as they passed the entrance, all fears on Spike's end quickly melted away. "Woah... this place is WAY bigger on the inside..." He marveled at the dilapidated structures and the large stairway. It seemed remarkably similar to something he saw before, but he couldn't put his finger-

"Pretty cool, right, Paprika?"

"💧︎♒︎□︎◆︎●︎♎︎■︎❼︎⧫︎ ♒︎♋︎❖︎♏︎ ⧫︎♋︎🙵♏︎■︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ◻︎♏︎❒︎⬧︎□︎■︎♋︎●︎●︎⍓︎📬︎ ✋︎❼︎❍︎ ⬧︎□︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ◻︎□︎□︎❒︎ ❑︎◆︎♋︎●︎♓︎⧫︎⍓︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ □︎●︎♎︎ ♍︎♒︎♋︎◻︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎📬︎"

Suddenly, from behind them, the entrance was surrounded in a purple flame! The entire entrance was completely devoured by the blaze. Spike ran towards it, but swiftly jumped back to avoid getting burned.

"Well, looks like we're stuck in here with her!" Paprika and Pinkie Pie were in a hug. Again. Well... at least Paprika had infinite food, so they wouldn't starve to death.

Spike attempted to get between them, but Pinkie's springy tail prevented him from doing so. "Uh, guys? The exit's blocked, and we don't know where we are!" He turned to face the foyer in front of them again. "The only thing here that looks remotely similar to that outside is that... big... stand..."

Right in the center of the room, was the pedestal where his friends had found the Elements of Harmony. What in the name of Daring Do was that doing here? He ran towards it to try to get more information, but Paprika was quicker. She was so quick, that she was basically a blur to anyone passing by. She ran up the side of the carved stone, before coyly leaping down.

Pinkie Pie bounced over to Spike. "What did you find?" She eyed the structure in front of her. "Ohhhhh. I see. Wow! I wasn't expecting to see this here!"

“Yeah, I know.” Spike ran a finger over a few cracks. “Why is it-“

Several hissing noises were heard from the other side of the pedestal. Spike, fearing for the worst, ran to check on Paprika.

Paprika was hugging a snake, crushing it in her embrace. "✋︎⧫︎ ❒︎♏︎♋︎●︎●︎⍓︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ♌︎♋︎♎︎📬︎"

“An actual snake...”

“Yeah! Pretty cool!” Pinkie appeared from behind him, nearly knocking him over in fright.

“No, that is the opposite of cool! We’re gonna die here!”

As he was speaking, the snake disappeared while still in Paprika’s grip, leading her to hold on to nothing.

“What happened there, Paprika?”

"💣︎♋︎♎︎♏︎ ♋︎ ■︎♏︎⬥︎ ♍︎♒︎♋︎◻︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎📪︎ ♒︎□︎◻︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ●︎♓︎🙵♏︎ ♓︎⧫︎✏︎ 🖳︎✆︎"

“Uh...” He looked at the pony for help. “Pinkie Pie?”

“Oh! I know this one! She saw the snake and wanted to give it a hug!”

Why was that the explanation that made the most sense?

“Whatever, let’s keep... wait.”

Spike pointed behind himself at two small depressions in the ground. “Did anybody notice that?”

Pinkie Pie skipped over and sat on them. “Wow! Bouncy! Almost like a scale! Whee!” She started to use the area as a makeshift trampoline, bouncing herself high, hanging several seconds in the air. Paprika joined in as well, scoring an even more impressive airtime.

Spike was really dissatisfied with the antics of his partners. “Well, I see a way in, so let’s get going. This place isn’t going to get any more cramped.”

He walked alone to not the next room, which seemed akin to some sort of.. apse, perhaps? There was a broken bridge in the middle, leading to the next room. Darn, the next room looked really important too!

He could still technically fly over, but leaving Pinkie Pie and Paprika alone would be a pretty bad idea.

On the other side, he also saw a few Predators. Specifically, two snakes and two wolves. Glad they were on the other side; best to leave quietly...

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie burst into the large room. "Hey, Spike! Ooh, are those Predators? Hi! Hello! Yoo-hoo! Over here!” She waved both hooves over her head in greeting.

Spike attempted to quiet the Pinkie, but again, to no avail. They were heard.

"✋︎ ●︎♓︎🙵♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ♌︎♏︎⧫︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎ ♋︎⬧︎ ⬥︎♏︎●︎●︎📬︎" Paprika came in and taunted them as well. No point in trying to shut her up.

The predators easily cleared the gap between them by teleportation, surrounding them. Paprika and Pinkie exchanged a short but noticeable glance between themselves, then moved to attacking stances. Spike simply flew up to provide background coverage where necessary.

Well, no getting out of this one...

**Fight!**

Fortunately, none of them seemed exceptionally hard to deal with. Pinkie Pie and Paprika both zoomed off to opposite corners of the room, before somehow reappearing the other side. Quite shocked, the wolves couldn't do much as they were slapped around comically, by candy and fur respectively.

The snakes were equally as surprised, but recovered from their shock quicker. They bunched up their coils, and both leapt onto Pinkie Pie's hair, trying to get a hold on her.

They failed miserably though, as they were soon sucked right into her hair, and shot out of a MK.II Party Cannon: Blow Them Away With Your Dazzling Streamers!™ patented by Pinkie Pie herself. They fell right into the pit, where the bridge once crossed.

Neither of the wolves were really happy about their position. One was getting blasted to no end by candy, streamers, and cake, while the other one was getting crushed to death by an oversized sweater. They were at their breaking point, and it seemed neither curly haired ungulates would take any breaks of their own. The victors paid no attention to them, and simply went about accidentally trouncing them some more, while Spike flew and gave...moral support. Yeah. That was what he was doing.

This entire process happened in less than thirty seconds. The wolves disappeared, leaving a sweater and a pile of icing where they lay before.

**It's over!**

"Woo! Great job, Paprika!" Paprika ran over to Pinkie Pie and gave her a loving lick. Spike descended and explained what he knew to the loving animals.

With nothing else for them to do in this room, and no way all of them to get over the bridge, they walked through a side door.

There, they found some black orbs, but more importantly, a treasure chest. Spike greedily opened it up, expecting some kind of treasure.

"Come on, come on, come on! Something good!" It was a bunch of ancient wrappings, mummy style, clearly made for some kind of ungulate. "Oh, come on!"

_**GAINED AINCIENT WRAPPINGS!** +10 TP +10 Scarcity You have something stuck to your hoof... Let me take it off._

"Hmmm..." Having lost interest in the wrappings, Spike started to look at the black orbs on the other side of the room.

"What is it, Spike?"

"Those orbs. What are they?"

"Hmmm...." Pinkie Pie scrunched herself up. Then she giddily jumped up. "Oh! I've got it!"

Spike cheered up quickly. "Really? What did you get?"

"Absolutely nothing!" Pinkie Pie bounced away, picking the orbs up as she did, leaving a very dumbfounded dragon in her wake.

The only exit to the room, save the other treasure chest across a chasm he didn't feel like crossing, veered off to the right. Heading through the door, he found Pinkie Pie awkwardly tiptoeing across a rickety bridge.

"Pinkie Pie? What-"

Pinkie suddenly zipped back, completely quiet. She pointed down, then mouthed, "Bunch of big wolves down there. Try to stay quiet! This is fun!"

True to her word, there were three wolves asleep in the middle of the room on some sort of stone tiling. Paprika was nowhere to be seen, but since there were no wolves or yellow hair on the same level, it could be assumed that she was fine. For now.

Another worry was the ever creaking bridge. Pinkie was making as little noise as possible, but Spike's feet made worrying noises come out of the bridge. Gulp.

On one instance, one of the wolves at the bottom shifted around at a creak louder than the others. Spike caught his breath, freezing on the spot, but the wolf didn't wake up, thank goodness.

It took him the greater part of a minute to regain his courage to cross it. The bridge led to a ledge, which held nothing except a stairway. No other place to go; the stairway was the answer, this time. "Hold on. Now that we're out, Spike... Couldn't you just fly over the bridge?"

"Uh..."

Before he could answer the embarrassing question, they reached the top of the stairwell, where they saw Paprika hugging another wolf to death.

"👍︎♒︎♏︎♏︎❒︎⬧︎📪︎ ☹︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎♉︎☠︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎✏︎" The wolf, which didn't appear to be her first one, popped out of her grip, before landing on the ground in an undignified heap that soon vaporized.

For once, Spike laughed at the fate these predators of late have been suffering. "Death by Icing," the newest headline! Ha! Paprika giddily walked back towards th-

"-Eeeelp!"

"Huh?" Spike and Pinkie Pie listened again. "-Eeellp! Somepony!"

Spike recognized the voice. "That voice..."

Pinkie seemed to as well. "It sounded like..."

"Snakes! Oh, why did it have to be snakes?!"

"DARING DO!"

Pinkie refocused. "It sounds like it's coming from over that way!" She pointed to a pathway towards the left. "Let's go!"

She ran right into the hallway, then right into a HUGE snake. Even larger than the one Paprika cosplayed as...

"✌︎■︎♎︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎■︎🙵 ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ♍︎❒︎♓︎⧫︎♓︎♍︎♓︎⬧︎❍︎📬︎"

Spike looked at Paprika strangely. "Well, sorry, but this snake totally one-upped you, Paprika. You need a better costume."

A large hiss interrupted his thought, as the snake coiled its tail around Pinkie Pie, deftly trapping her.

"Pinkie!" She waved at Spike, before getting sinking down further than Spike would have wanted. It was up to him and Paprika...

**Fight!**  
_Special Battle!_  
_Conditions:_  
_Rescue Pinkie Pie_  
_Pinkie Pie unavailable until rescued_

Paprika ran rapidly behind the snake, attempting to catch it off guard, but this one wasn't as easily fooled. It whipped its tail out at Paprika, tripping and knocking her away. She lay on the floor, face down, then jumped back up and ran back to the snake.

She attempted again to attack his unprotected backside, but the snake allowed a Pinkie's head to stick out in the spot she aimed for. She scored a direct hit on the pony, who was sucked back into the coils before she could say a word. The snake lashed it's jaw at Paprika, who dodged with no problem.

"Paprika!" The alpaca turned towards Spike, who had remained out of range. "Attack him head on! You won't be able to hit his back!"

Armed with Spike's advice, Paprika got her head back in the fight. She, quite literally, extended her neck to "attack him head on," knocking him several times in the thick skin under his neck. The snake snapped back at her, but all he was able to grab was a flames to the face, as Spike flew overhead.

This attacking was enough to set Pinkie Pie free again. Without warning, she laughed manically as she started to stuff him tail first into a party cannon.

Now he was in real trouble. He couldn't hit either Paprika or Spike as he was dragged backwards, inevitably towards the cannon mouth. He hissed a final time as his head came into contact with the painted metal of the cannon.

"Spike! Need some firepower over here!"

She's got it! Spike flew over towards the end of the cannon and blew a single whiff of flame, setting the cannon off. It fired the snake straight into the wall at high velocity, creating a sound akin to throwing a tomato at a cake.

**It's over!**

As the snake disappeared, the three took some time for a short break as they recovered from the battle. Paprika passed a few drinks around, as Pinkie Pie regained her breath from the intense squeezing. While smiling, of course.

Afterwards, they walked out the door to the outside, Paprika in particular commenting,

"🕈︎♓︎⧫︎♒︎□︎◆︎⧫︎ ♓︎⧫︎📪︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ■︎♏︎⬥︎ ♍︎♒︎♋︎◻︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎ ⬥︎□︎◆︎●︎♎︎■︎❼︎⧫︎ ♒︎♋︎❖︎♏︎ ♏︎⌧︎♓︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎♎︎📬︎"

Outside, there appeared to be a courtyard. Several statues of ponies, some with inscriptions on them Also present were some tablets with etchings of predators on them. But right in the middle of it all, sat a chest outside, glowing a creepy purple color that was clearly not metal.

"So? What are you waiting for? Open it!"

Spike obliged. The chest revealed a...paint bucket with a black label.

_**GAINED PAIN(T) BUCKET!** +17 Controversy +5 Splash Buckets without paint are like tuna-fish sandwiches without ketchup!_

Pinkie Pie didn't seem disappointed. "Well, if life gives you lemons, make lemon meringue!"

The bucket was shoved onto Pinkie Pie's head. "And if life gives you a bucket, wear it as a hat!"

"Oh come on?! First reduced to a collectible item, and now a hat? I DEMAND to speak to the creator of this production, and furthermore-"

"Huh?" Spike looked around for the speaker. Nothing; the voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. Just like the voice of-

"Daring Do! We still need to find her!"

"Right!" Pinkie Pie bobbed her head, knocking the paint bucket all around. Paprika started to mimic Pinkie Pie's action, leading them to start having a headbang battle.

Spike slapped his head with his hand again. "Daring Do isn't out here! We should REALLY find her soon!" Another yell, then muffled noises came from inside the ruins.

The paint can from on top of Pinkie Pie's head flew off his impromptu resting place. "Agreed!" it said, label turning yellow. "You go do that!" With that he flew up into the air, muttering something about prisms and islands.

About fifteen seconds later, he flew back and landed back on Pinkie Pie's head, label now purple. "AAAAAHHHHH! There are lots of angry birds out there! They didn't buy my crow impression! Why not? I was perfect! Am NOT going out there again, so I guess I'll stay with you. Don't worry, I'll be quiet! You won't even know I'm here!" He then decided to basically shut up for the rest of the chapter.

"Okay?" The can didn't seem to be... unbearable, so they all headed back inside the ruins, and into the hallway they passed in their rush to find the voice earlier.

In it, there was a large fall and a large stone block.

Spike looked around the room, and at the block. "What do we do?"

"✋︎⧫︎🕯︎⬧︎ ♋︎❖︎♋︎♓︎●︎♋︎♌︎●︎♏︎ ♓︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♎︎♏︎⬧︎♍︎❒︎♓︎◻︎⧫︎♓︎□︎■︎📬︎" Paprika started to push the stone with amazing strength, right into the hole. The block fell, but only after it was completely off of its original resting place. It hit the unseen ground below with a bump.

"I guess that did something." Spike dusted himself off, and started walking towards the next door. "Well, on to the next- whooaaaaaAAAHHH!" A strange sound rang through the hallway, as the way behind them had shut again with the same flames.

Sticking and recoiling her hoof in the blaze, Pinkie Pie turned to address the elephant in the room. "Well, looks like we can't go back! Gotta keep going forwards!" She straightened her bucket, then threw a salute. "FOR DARING DO!"

Pinkie ran into the next room, while Spike and Paprika followed close behind. Right in front of them, was another wolf.

It noticed them quite easily, being right in front of them. It ran straight towards them, before slipping on a random banana peel and plummeting to his doom in the nearby hole that seemed to be everywhere in these ruins.

"Uh huh." Well, at least they didn't have to risk getting hurt from-

" _Help me! Please!_ " Oh! Right! Daring Do! She sounded close by!

Pinkie Pie scoured the room, while Paprika just looked happy. "Oh! Ooh! I think I hear her over there!" The pink pony pointed at a door that was over the chasm.

"Alright!" Spike took to the skies and easily flew over the gap. Then he remembered about Pinkie Pie, so he turned to speak to them. They weren't there. "Um... Pinkie? Paprika?"

"HI!" "YAAAAAAAHHHHH!" How'd they get behind him?!

Pinkie seemed to read his thoughts, while Paprika blew a raspberry. "Oh, silly! There was another door that led outside!" She pointed to a doorway that, true to her words, seemed to lead outside. The same way as before, the three started to head towards the slightly muffled voice they heard.

"Heeelp!"

"She's really close by! I think she's through this door!" Spike pointed at a door on his left. As he entered the following room, a blueish glow filled it.

It was the library from the Castle of Two Sisters, but it was... different. The stone bricks were made of the same ones as the rest of the ruins, but the bookshelves, rugs, and beanbag chairs all looked out of place. Almost displaced...

Spike picked up a book flopped over on the ground, flipped through its pages. "This is the library from the Castle!"

"Yep!" Pinkie bounded over to a bookshelf, pulling a book off the shelf. "Ooh! 101 Knock-knock jokes! Seems like fun!" She sat down on the rug and began reading.

"👌︎♋︎♍︎🙵 ⧫︎□︎ ❍︎♏︎❍︎♏︎⬧︎✏︎" Paprika picked up a pink book, this one titled _HOW TO BE SO VERY DUMB_ in big black print, and started to read it upside down.

"Help!" Spike jumped up from where he was reading, and quickly ran the room for the source of the voice. He managed to find the source of the voice by running up up a flight of stairs and slamming straight into a...door? COVERED IN PREDARTORS?!

Spike awkwardly slid down the part of the door he hit, while his partners ran up to see what he found. "What is that?"

Pinkie didn't seem to know, but walked up close anyways. "I don't know! But I'm sure it isn't bad!" She started to lean on a noticeable crack in the structure. Suddenly, the door gave way, as the crack opened up, revealing a portal. The eyes on the door lit up red, as did the paint can's label. Spike and the two goofballs stepped away from the door as the portal crackled and popped.

A gust of wind blew out first, knocking them even further away, and causing papers to fly around the room erratically.

After that, out of the door flew a very beaten up Daring Do, several scars running down her body and a battered pith helmet clattering onto the floor next to the portal. She fell onto the floor, falling down all of the stairs as she did. If she wasn't unconscious when coming out of the portal, she certainly was now.

Surprisingly, it was Paprika who attempted to rectify the situation. She put the downed pony on her back, and started licking and force feeding her apples, because they keep the doctor away, and they weren't available then and there.

And guess what else came out of the portal? Yep. Predators. Guess this is a normal thing now.

A large bear lumbered out of the portal first, then several wolves and falcons, surrounding Pinkie and Spike.

Spike put up his dukes, spread out his wings, and took to the air, as Pinkie Pie brought out a separate party cannon. Paprika, because she was taking care of Daring Do, ran out of the library into another nearby room to protect her. Two wolves followed her into the next room, leaving Pinkie and Spike with two wolves, four falcons, and one bear to deal with.

**Fight!**  
_Special Battle!_  
_Conditions:_  
_Paprika unable to attack_  
_You lose if Daring Do gets K.O.'d (30%)_

Spike flew up, all four falcons chasing him to the ceiling. He feinted away, leading a couple to slam into the top, the rest having the time to brake and continue their attack. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie started to attack the bear from behind, somehow reaching that point in her own quirky way. The bear fell down the stairs, landing with a loud bump on the stony floor, before standing up clumsily. He grunted, and swung his muzzle, calling the other wolves towards him.

Paprika, with Daring Do on her back, could do little more than run and block for fear of hurting her passenger. Fortunately for her, the two options were holding out... for now. In the cramped room, the wolves were relentless. The only real advantage she had was her greater mobility, but even that could be debated. She doubled down on her blocking, shielding Daring Do from all attacks.

Surprisingly, Spike was doing the best, even with his lack of combat abilities. Being far more capable of maneuvering with his smaller body, the falcons were bumping with the walls and themselves more than him. In fact, one of them was hit so much by the wall, it fell to the floor and disappeared. Finding a moment of respite, Spike blew another blast of flame, aiming it at Pinkie Pie.

Almost as if it were planned, Pinkie pulled out her party cannon at the right time, flame striking a direct hit on the fuse. This time, it blew out a jet of fondant, striking a wolf head on. It quickly hardened around him, as he hit the wall incapable of moving, leaving one bear and one wolf left in the large room.

Paprika was having trouble. She was almost kicked out of the room she was in, but she was holding her ground. But the wolves were relentless; she wasn't going to last much longer. She called out for help, and she needed it fast!

"🕈︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ♋︎❒︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ❖︎♓︎♏︎⬥︎⬧︎ □︎■︎ ♑︎◆︎■︎ ❒︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎✍︎"

Pinkie Pie heard the call for help. She shifted her attention to getting to her, ASAP! “Hey, Spike! Over here!”

The dragon came over, causing two more falcons to crash into the wall behind him. They slid down while disappearing. One of each was left. Unfortunately? The battles were at least two on one.

Landing on the ground, Spike faced the remaining predators and sized them up. The bear was a walking target... but that wolf was getting awfully close- wait... woah!

Spike dodged just in time to feel the rush of wind as the outstretched claws reached for him. Okay, wolf, then falcon, then bear. Got it.

“Okay, Paprika! I’m here!” Pinkie Pie was in the room with the battered alpaca. They smiled at each other as Pinkie peppered the predators with some close range cupcakes.

With the Paprika situation being quickly taken care of, that just left Spike and his three. Even though the wolf was fast, Spike was small, and weaved in between nearly all of the blows. Having a slightly spiky tail and the ability to breathe fire certainly helped in his favor.

The wolf was getting roasted well. A rare sight, all things considered. The falcon was also on the verge of bailing as its pinfeathers started to get slowly taken off by the swinging fists of the slightly-more-confident-than-usual dragon. Soon the wolf was downed by the sheer heat, and the falcon was by getting smashed into the wall.

Now that Pinkie was back in the room, and that Paprika no longer had to worry about keeping Do safe, the battle immediately turned back into their favor. Although the bear was tough, because of... well... mostly Pinkie Pie and Paprika’s attacks, he was more than manageable. As he was starting to get worn down on by cacti and cupcakes, Spike flew over to room with Daring Do to see how he could help.

She was still unconscious, but she was definitely alive! For now. Falling down a flight of stairs doesn’t usually bode well.

There was also a chest in the room, this one being golden. Opening it revealed a strange golden mask that reminded him of Somnomula. Better to stash it.

**It’s over!**

There was the bell! It seemed that his friends were victorious! Again!

He was about to fly out and congratulate them, but Paprika was faster. She pulled both of them into a more loving hug that DIDN’T crush all their bones.

"💣︎♋︎❒︎♓︎□︎ ⬧︎♋︎⍓︎⬧︎🖳︎ ☝︎◆︎■︎ ❒︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ ♋︎❒︎♏︎ ♓︎❍︎◻︎□︎❒︎⧫︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎ ◻︎❒︎□︎⧫︎♏︎♍︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬧︎♋︎♐︎♏︎⧫︎⍓︎ □︎♐︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ◻︎♏︎□︎◻︎●︎♏︎📪︎ ♒︎□︎⬥︎♏︎❖︎♏︎❒︎📪︎ ⧫︎□︎□︎ ❍︎◆︎♍︎♒︎ □︎♐︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎ ●︎♏︎♋︎♎︎ ⧫︎□︎ ◆︎■︎❒︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎ ♓︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ◻︎□︎◻︎◆︎●︎♋︎⧫︎♓︎□︎■︎📬︎ ❄︎♒︎♏︎❒︎♏︎♐︎□︎❒︎♏︎📪︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ♓︎❍︎◻︎□︎❒︎⧫︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⬧︎⧫︎❒︎♓︎🙵♏︎ ♋︎ ♌︎♋︎●︎♋︎■︎♍︎♏︎📬︎"

“No, it was mostly Spike!” Letting them fall to the ground again, Paprika pulled out some of the orbs from earlier and started to juggle them, for no real reason.

Spike reached out a hand. “Woah! Be careful! We don’t know what’ll happen if they-“

_Crash!_

“-break.”

Paprika stared at the broken orb on the ground. It split into more green and blue orbs that sat there temptingly. Smiling, she picked the orbs up and gave them a loving hug.

Spike held up a claw. "Uh... I don't think you should caress the broken pieces of orbs... What if they-"

As he spoke, the orbs flew out in all directions, then into Paprika's body. Instantly, all bruises from before vanished, and she looked immediately more refreshed. Still with her arms in a hugging position, Paprika extended her neck to look herself all over.

"Wow!" Pinkie Pie bounced around giddily, as usual. "Looks like those orbs are friendly!"

"Wait... Does that mean that-" Spike pulled out another one of the orbs, then threw it on the unconscious Daring Do. The orb shattered, then flew into her, causing all wounds to disappear.

She slowly stood up from where she lay, hoof on the back of her head. Shaking her blurry eyesight out, she stood face to face with her rescuers.

Well, would be face to face, if Paprika wasn't there blocking her entire view.

"Gettoff!" The derring-do doer extricated herself before she got hurt from Paprika's arms. She shook herself some more, then addressed the others in the room. "I don't know what you did, but you did it well. Thanks, Spike, Pinkie!"

Spike and Pinkie smiled at their friend, who quickly picked up and scanned a scroll in the room. "You see, I saw these ruins after... whatever took me here happened. I was just about to check this scroll out, but then I remembered that door over there. It looked kind of suspicious, so I checked it out. But then, those... predators came out and ambushed me. Whew! They weren't pushovers, like that Ahuizotl or that do-some-good Dr. Caballeron... To make a long story short, they kidnapped me and threw me in there."

She squinted her eyes. "Dang it! I can't read anything in here! Too old, maybe?" She shook her head. "Nothing. These ruins are still suspicious though..."

Running towards her, Pinkie did a diving tackle into a hug. "Well, we're just glad you're okay!" she picked Daring Do back on her feet, then ran out of the room. "Come on, pegasisters, we've got a temple to explore!"

"Yeah!"

"*phhhhhhht!*"

"Hey, I didn't agree to this!"

As they ran out of the library, none of them paid attention to the door. The portal inside it fizzled out and vanished as the door closed, covering the room with the frozen wolf in darkness again.

* * *

After getting Daring Do back on their side, traversing some parts of the ruin/castle hybrid was an easy task. With Paprika’s strength and Daring Do’s ingenuity, they quickly fought their way back to the entrance.

“Great!” Daring Do started to push one of the blocks towards one of the bouncy pads in the middle of the room.

Confused, Spike asked, "So, what are you doing?"

With a grunt, Daring Do clarified, "These bouncy pads? They're switches. If we push these stones on them, I think it'll open up more rooms to find! Paprika, can you get the other one?”

Paprika obliged. She quite literally got the other one, picking it up and carrying it over to the other area. With both stones set in place, they disappeared while lights rained down on the four, revealing exits to both their left and right.

"Ooh! Light! Pretty!" Pinkie bounded over to the door on their left. "Well, let's go!" Paprika repeated the motion in her own Paprika way, adding in some cartwheels and air kisses for show.

"And I thought Pinkie Pie was weird..." Daring do whispered to Spike. "These two seem freakishly similar. Why do you-"

Spike shook his head. He truly didn't know. Know that there were TWO of them.

There wasn’t anything else to do in the room, so they headed towards the left. They were then face to face with what appeared to be a large maze, blocks, scales, and bridges lined two different floors made of rubble.

“Wow.”

“Cool!”

"☹︎◆︎♓︎♑︎♓︎ ⬧︎♋︎⍓︎⬧︎🖳︎ ☝︎◆︎■︎■︎♏︎❍︎🕯︎📪︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ☼︎◆︎■︎■︎♏︎❍︎🕯︎"

Daring do flew around, checking many facets of the room. One of the things that came to her attention first was that the exit door was blocked by purple flames. The second thing she noticed was that there were several blocks near or on the springy platforms from earlier. A few sleeping wolves were also around, but none of them seemed to be bothered by their intrusion. Yet. Also, those floor tilings looked eerily similar to a certain castle she found earlier... but that's beside the point.

She landed and stated her findings concisely to the others.

Spike started to walk forwards. "Well, no use in just standing here! If we wanna get out of here, we'd better start lookiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNGG-!!"

Spike fell into a trapdoor! With no thought of herself, Daring Do flew after him to try to catch him. The door closed behind them, preventing any other pony from going down to save him. Pinkie and Paprika stared at the hole in shock. Actually, it's debatable whether Paprika was actually in shock or just faking it, but either way, they soon heard a familiar voice from above them.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" Spike and Daring do fell from the ceiling! They clattered onto the floor next to the trapdoor as it closed with a creak.

Spike jumped up and rubbed himself all over. Nothing broken... Head's still there, so he's fine! Ha! Nothing wr-

"Spike!"

"Yeah?"

"Your wings!"

Spike ran a hand over his wings... They were stuck flat down to his body! Try as he might, he couldn't get whatever was keeping his wings melded to his body off. Daring Do found herself in a similar situation, but on her dull orange coat it was easier to see that some purple goop that looked and smelled akin to rotten grapes was keeping their wings down flat.

Oh well, not like he ACTUALLY needed his wings to get things done. He didn't have them for about... he couldn't remember how long exactly, but it was a pretty long time, since he was born to a couple of years back. Daring Do seemed slightly more at a loss, but this probably wasn't her first time either. "Well... Guess we have to hoof it..."

Near the trapdoor that had snuffed out their flight, a block was sitting in front of a hallway running towards a staircase leading up onto some rubble. Paprika, taking an unseen hint, methodically alternated between pushing the block and lying on the ground exhausted until the block was moved out of the way of the stairs.

Apparently, the blocks also came off of another one of the oversized scales from earlier. This time, some bridges overhead disappeared into nothingness. The four looked at each other to try to come up with any ideas, but none other than "go up the stairs" were available with the options they had.

 _Go up the anticlimactic staircase?_  
[Yeah!]  
Nah...  
Why are you here?

One the rubble was a lone wolf, like in other corners of the room. What was also obvious was that the exit to the room was blocked.

"⬧︎♋︎⍓︎ ⬧︎♓︎🙵♏︎ ❒︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ■︎□︎⬥︎" Paprika was running towards the wolf, mouth puckered up in a kiss, and arms outstretched in a hug. For some reason, the wolf looked... Scared?

Pinkie Pie ran forwards as well. Before she launched herself into the fray, she shouted, "Guys! Get the bridges back! I think I know how to get us out of here!"

Daring Do seemed to know as well. "Come on Spike, we need to push that block back!"

They tiptoed around the ball of fighting that the pony and alpaca had created, finding more of the trapdoors from earlier. There seemed to be another way that went up and around all trapdoors, but that involved sneaking past the other wolves right in their path, without wings.

Pinkie Pie and Paprika weren't having trouble, so they could clear out any wolves from behind... but without flying? They'd need some ingenuity.

They started to comb the walls, easier said than done for a quadruped like Daring Do. Spike had no problem, and soon he was silently crossing the bridge to the other side and sneaking past the next one. After passing the first one, there was no way Daring Do could jump down without alarming any of the others thanks to her horseshoes, nor could she risk sneaking on the bridge. It was mostly up to Spike at this point.

Three wolves passed, and in the home stretch! Spike saw that Pinkie Pie had finished with her wolf, and had grabbed the one Daring Do was standing next to. Spike stopped under a bridge, arms outstretched, staring up at a confused Daring Do. Then, she seemed to realize what he meant, and jumped down onto his arms. Somehow, he didn't fall over, the force knocked him backwards into the moveable rock.

Wolf three was being pummeled by Pinkie and Paprika, and the fourth was quickly realizing what was happening. He launched himself into the fray as well. At least, launched. He was quickly ejected and sternly told to "wait his turn."

"Hrrrrrrrnnn...... There!" With an audible *click* the bridges reappeared, leading to a final ledge with two rocks, two scales, and a wolf. Daring Do, with Spike clinging to her hat, quickly ran past the fighting herds to the ending.

The wolf had awoken in the commotion. He knew that they would come to him eventually. He snarled in Daring Do's face, while Spike stood back a little bit.

**Fight!**

Surprising the parties present, Spike made the first move. He used his smaller size to get right under, then behind the wolf. Quickly righting himself, he used his legs to jump off the side of one of the stones, cannonballing straight into the wolf's gut, and sending him down to where Paprika was waiting.

There, she...

* * *

_*The following scene has been removed from the platform due to:_  
_Excessive violence_  
_Major profanity_  
_Usage of Firearms_  
_Blood and Gore_  
_Whacking Someone to Death with a Paint Can_

"Oh, come on, it wasn't THAT bad..."

_Yes, it was._

"She only killed them a LITTLE bit."

_The alpaca literally took out a chainsaw and stuck it right in the-_

"Oh, tut tut, you don't have to worry. The author would NEVER do something like that in an E for everyone rated story."

* * *

**It's over!**

Pinkie Pie and Paprika ran across the bridges to get back to the adventurers, who were sliding the blocks into the correct places. With all stones back in place, and predators defeated, the exit was open, wings were freed, stones despawned, and a chest spawned in the center of the room.

"👌︎🕆︎☜︎☠︎⚐︎💧︎ 👎︎✋︎✌︎💧︎📪︎ 💣︎✌︎☹︎☞︎✌︎👍︎❄︎⚐︎☼︎💧︎" Quickly running and opening up the chest, Paprika pulled out a strange belt with a deformed cross symbol on it.

GAINED: CROSS-FIT! _+2 Crossover +4 Smashing capability Colors weave into a spire of fightin'! Cross-promotion, baby!_

"Whew!" Daring Do took off her pith helmet and wiped a hoof on her brow. "At first I thought we wouldn't make it!" She stretched out her wings with a grunt, doing a couple of test flaps with them. "Wow! It was probably only a few minutes without my wings, but I'm glad to have them again!"

The dragon nudged her in the neck with an elbow. "Ah, you're too spoiled. Look at me! I only got these, like, last year! Ha!"

Everyone shared a short laugh while moving onto the next room in the temple. This one... might actually pose a bit of a problem. This room had two exits, one leading further in, and one leading outside.

Uncertain, Spike looked from exit to exit. Panicked, he asked, "Uh... WHICH WAY DO WE CHOOSE?!"

Paprika stuck a hoof out, deftly tripping him. She pointed and laughed at his misfortune, while Pinkie Pie answered. "Well, there are four of us! How about me and Paprika go outside, while you two go check out the inside?"

That sounded like a good plan. Spike and Daring do flew up to the secondary exit, while the two P's began to walk outside into the next area.

* * *

The outside area consisted of several bridges between cliffs that soared high above the fog. Four falcons soared overhead, possibly patrolling the area.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Looking up at the paint can that had screamed, Pinkie Pie asked, "What's wrong...uh..."

"Huey."

"...Huey?"

"Yeah... those are the falcons that nearly snatched me earlier. What did they think I was, a can of tuna or something? Anyways..." His label turned purple again, and he quickly flew up and back into the temple. "OH, SCRAP!" Then he screamed, and ducked behind the wall.

Pinkie Pie didn't seem to notice the can's fear. "Wow! He's fast! And he can fly! That's really cool! Though, what was he screaming about?"

All four falcons landed, encircling Paprika and Pinkie.

"OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh...."

**Fight!**

With one side without the ability of flight, the battle was decidedly more one sided towards the predators than ever before. It was clear (to Pinkie Pie at least; for Paprika it was debatable) that playing defensively would be key.

Lucky for them, only two falcons attacked at once. They didn't seem that unpredictable either; all of their attacks were easily evaded by nature of cartoon logic and wrap-around physics. Each time they did it, the falcons only got more enraged and confused.

One, swooping down fast, came at Paprika with claws outstretched. His claws met wool hard as rock, as Paprika guarded with ease. Wait, that wasn't wool, that was LITERALLY a rock, a large, flat boulder! Paprika responded to his confusion by slamming the rock onto his unprotected body on one of the wooden bridges while Pinkie watched with some popcorn, a fitting finish for a flattened flappy.

The other one seeing what had happened with to his comrade, flew at a distance, seemingly in thought. Then he swooped down unpredictably into Pinkie's back. Or would, if his claws didn't hit Huey first. Huey opened his lid and stuck his top towards the bird as he blocked, managing to suck up some of the bird's... color? Spirit? It was hard to tell, but the bird's lower half was nonexistant anymore, landing it.

"💧︎□︎❍︎♏︎✏︎" Paprika was caught in a two on one, but was managing well. Her precious cacti were getting stuck in the bird's feathers quite easily, and to add injury to insult, also hurt like blazes. The other two birds were now grounded, and Paprika started to knit them some sweaters, one by one.

**Go, Pinkie!**  
**Place Card Here**  
**Card Ready**  
**Touch to Paint**  
**Done Painting**  
**Flick to Play Cards!**

"That took WAAAAAAAYYY too long. Don't you have anything faster, Huey?"

The can looked either panicked or aghast; it was hard to tell. "Hey! That's the only way I know how to fight!"

"Well, I'm not going to use THAT card thing again!" A red, squeaky toy hammer magically appeared in Pinkie Pie's hoof, and she started to whack the final falcon multiple times, causing more and more of the spirit to fade away into nothingness.

"That phrase just makes me feel numb. That's what the reviewers said." Huey's label turned blue as he returned to Pinkie's head. "Sorry, won't talk anymore. But hey! You did it!" Then Huey fell asleep, probably dreaming about burgers or Paint Stars or something.

**It's over!**

**Perfect Bonus! +20 Salt!**

Paprika looked around excitedly, looking for someone to give another one of her free sweaters to, while Pinkie cheered. "Yay! Looks like no more predators here! And we're across the bridges, so we can go inside again! Yippee!"

Back inside, where it wasn't as cold nor damp, there was a long hallway that curved twice around another room, it appeared. Another black thing was sitting in the center of it, which Paprika giddily picked up.

"👌︎⚐︎👎︎✡︎ ⚐︎☠︎👍︎☜︎ ❄︎⚐︎☹︎👎︎ 💣︎☜︎" Pinkie put her ear to a wall, hearing something strange from the other side. Sounded like a scuffle, but it was on the other side. Nothing she could do about it.

Paprika, on the other hand, certainly thought she could do something about this. She attempted to get into the room with the fighting noises, ramming her head into the wall like a hammer. Due to completely unforeseen circumstances, it had absolutely no effect on the stone wall.

After the hammerhead incident, they moved on to the next room. Judging by the posts and the hanging slats of wood, this appeared to be the other side of the bridge. Now that they were over there, there was clearly a large stone and two more scales... but where was the other rock?

"OOOHH!!! I LOVE hide and seek!" Paprika seemed to love it as well. Their next stop was to the east, which led to a hallway next to yet another hole.

Pinkie Pie inhaled and exhaled loudly. "MMMMMMMM!!!! Fresh air again! I can smell it!" She sniffed the air again. "Over that way!" She pointed to a hallway leading to more sunlight.

The hallway was very strangely shaped. Instead of being a ------, it was shaped more like I‾‾Z. After the first two angles, there was a random wall; perhaps part of the hallway fell in and this was just a big room. Yes, that had to be it.

From behind this wall, two cougars appeared while Pinkie was in the lead. She ran around them with a start, then started a fight. Just before she lost herself to a brawl, she said, "Paprika! See if you can get anything outside! I'll be waiting here with cupcakes when you finish!"

With a "✋︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ❒︎♏︎♋︎♎︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ⬥︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ ⧫︎□︎ ❒︎♏︎❍︎□︎❖︎♏︎ 👌︎☜︎🏱︎ ⬧︎❑︎◆︎♋︎♎︎📪︎ 🙰◆︎⬧︎⧫︎ ●︎♏︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎ ♓︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ◻︎□︎●︎●︎ ♓︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♎︎♏︎⬧︎♍︎❒︎♓︎◻︎⧫︎♓︎□︎■︎📬︎," Paprika sped out of the ruins for the second time this chapter.

But even through the little time she was in the ruins, she was glad to see Mister Sun again! The outside was so fun! The grass, the rocks, the depressing ruins, JUST SO WONDERFUL! Ooh, and that mini-room over there could be used for a picnic! PERFECT!

The ledge, however pretty, was quite small. There was only one other entrance or exit to the ledge to her right, leading back inside. Quite predictably, this door led right back to the chest that Spike didn't feel like getting at that point.

A wolf and two mini wolves appeared right in front of the shiny, SHINY, chest. They weren't going to let her in without a fight, but why fight?! THEY NEEDED HUGS! ALL OF THEM!

**Fight!**

The wolves looked more uncertain this time. They sort of stood back at a distance, but Paprika quickly closed the gap, grabbing one of the smaller wolves and giving her hugs and kisses, like any good dog-lover would.

The other wolves didn't seem to even want to be associated with the hug-monster. They attempted to make a getaway through the open door.

Except they got tripped up by a lone cinnamon roll that lobbed out of Paprika's tail. This cinnamon roll wasn't just spun in a swirl, it was BACKSPUN. So much, in fact, that the wolves were brought into Paprika's loving embrace.

"☹︎♏︎⧫︎🕯︎⬧︎ ⧫︎♋︎🙵♏︎ □︎◆︎❒︎ ◻︎❒︎□︎♌︎●︎♏︎❍︎⬧︎📪︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ 🏱︎🕆︎💧︎☟︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎💣︎ ♋︎⬥︎♋︎⍓︎✏︎"

Pap started rolling over, all three in hoof. They first wriggled free, quite shocking the alpaca, then fell down the chasm howling in pain, quite saddening the alpaca.

**It's over!**

Well, at least she still had that chest! What's inside?! OOOOOOOOOOH!!!!

Head bandages. Boring. Paprika still wore them.

Nothing left there. Paprika giddily skipped back to where Pinkie Pie left her moments ago. Once back in the strangely shaped hallway, no pony or wolves were to be found. All she found was a note on a plate of cupcakes. The note read,

 _Hi, Paprika! I'm on a super-DUPER important break right now! I'm in the door that's over there._ ⬆ _See you soon!_  
_-Pinkie Pie! (Your friend!)_

The door in question led upstairs to a room separated into two parts with a bridge. A second side of the room that was basically a mirror image of the side she was on was unreachable, but there was probably a hallway somewhere in here to bring her there sooner or later. But probably sooner!

Another one of the black things was on the other side, quickly being shoved with the cutlery in Paprika's picnic basket.

Onto the next room. This was fun!

* * *

"Onto the next room. This is boring!"

_No, it is not. It's a major part of the plot._

"Oh come on, that's just a poor excuse for padding! I don't see any reason why I should keep watching this!"

_No. The next chapter is really important._

"How so?"

_A certain yellow pegasus._

"What certain yellow- ggggaAAAAAAASSSSSSPPPPPPPP!"

_Discord, just saying "gasp" isn't a gasp._

"Who is she with?"

_Sheep._

"Um-"

_Female._

"Is-"

_Not affiliated with Grogar. Saw that coming a mile away._

"Oh. Well then is-"

_No, she isn't related to any of the Legion of Doom, either._

"Hmmm... well, is she-"

_Jesus Christ, Discord. Why would you think it's a Pokémon?!_

"Because... Hm... you've got me! Ha hahahahaha!

* * *

Where fight noises were coming from. Fighting noises? Pinkie Pie! That's where she was! She leapt into the next room, which contained two out of place walls with a small squarish area in the center. There she was! Upon seeing Paprika, Pinkie waved a hoof in greeting.

"Hi, Pappy! Just taking care of these guys! Ooh! You could use some icing!" She deliberately smeared a wolf's head with some red icing, then smashed his head into a canister of white. Then she rolled him over her hoof, and slammed him into a wall, sticking him right to it. Paprika ran over and gave him a nice lick on the head, causing him to recoil, then disappear.

**It's over!**

"Whew! Those guys were really party crashers! Oh well!" She started to skip away. "Their loss! Come on, we gotta see where this place leads!"

True to her assumption, the next door led straight back to the room with the mirror-bridges, just on the other side. There was another black thing, that Pinkie broke. The orbs flew up and into her, sparkling her green and blue. "Wowie!" Pinkie pie jumped for joy. "I feel great! I wonder how those things work!"

It was clear that she wasn't going to get an answer here. They just picked themselves up and want to the next room.

This one was different. In stark contrast to the mossy tile of the Castle and the bricks of the Ruins, the floor of this room was completely formed out of earth. A chasm lined half of it; a quick look down revealed it led down to one of the lower levels. But right in the center of the room, was a large, cubical, STONE!

"Yay!" Pinkie ran over and gave the rock a hug. "We found you! We found you! Now it's our turn to hide! Ready- Wha!"

She got stopped by Paprika, who turned her to face the stone again.

"Ohhhhhh..."

Pinkie Pie walked over to the side of the rock opposite the chasm, and threw her weight on it. Those years on the rock farm certainly helped her pushing strategies out. Not one to be outdone, Paprika stood behind it and started pushing as well.

Eventually, though it took a while, the rock was almost over the chasm. Pinkie stepped back to admire the hard work she did, simple as it was, while Paprika kept pushing. The rock moved no further with only Paprika exerting a normal force.

Pinkie Pie was about to go back and help her, but Paprika hugged her, kissed her, then set her down back where she was before, a clear warning to not disturb her. Then Paprika started to tilt her head at crazy, jarring angles courtesy her large neck, getting views from all angles of the rock. Then she reared back, and charged head first at the rock, finally knocking the rock- and very nearly herself- out.

While Paprika sat down near the edge nursing a sizeable lump on her forehead, Pinkie Pie came back up and splatted a cold ice cream cake into the bruised area.

"What? They say ice is good for bruises!" The curly-haired partygoers shared a long laugh as they shared a few bananas with each other. But their happiness was over far too soon; they needed to get back to Spike and Daring Do!

"So, I guess we'll walk!" Pinkie went back over to the only door of in the room. "I love walking! Let's go!"

But Paprika didn't go. She stood right where she was the whole time, staring down into the chasm with a smirk on her face. Pinkie walked over to her, but was only acknowledged by gaze, and a few eye cues pointing down the crack. After standing in silence for a few seconds, Pinkie smiled hugely back.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?!"

"✋︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎ □︎■︎♏︎ □︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♓︎♎︎♓︎□︎⧫︎⬧︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ♑︎□︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎□︎ ◻︎◆︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⧫︎❒︎♋︎■︎⬧︎●︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎♎︎ ❖︎♏︎❒︎⬧︎♓︎□︎■︎ ♓︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♍︎□︎❍︎❍︎♏︎■︎⧫︎⬧︎📬︎"

Jump down after the block?  
[Geronimo!]  
What? Are you crazy? Of course!

Can I go home now?  
[No!]

* * *

"Come on! I heard something from over this way!"

"Do I even have a choice?!"

Daring Do, with Spike on her back, was now on the run towards a loud boom she heard. Might not be the greatest idea, but her next book in a set of three needed a climax. They were on the path that Pinkie and Paprika originally took, finding nothing of note on the other path. Then they were gone a while, they saw a bunch of tiny paint droplets leading further into the ruins.

They ran down the hallway Pinkie's bucket pointed, which led to a room with the same rock-switch puzzle as before. "Another one? Well, guess we should get pus-"

From above, a rock came crashing down right in front of them! They were just enough out of the way to not get blasted by bits of tile that flew up from the floor, but both still noticeably recoiled. After that, two bodies fell down, one pink, the other yellow, screaming in excitement. They landed with a bump, not seemingly hurt in any way.

“Woooo! Yahahaha! Let’s do that again!” Pinkie leapt up laughing while Daring and Spike let out breaths they didn't even realize they were holding.

Paprika leapt up laughing as well, doing the strange floating thing again, then ran back to Spike and gave him a huge hug and several kisses! Unbeknownst to her, Spike was actively trying to escape her embrace as it threatened to break his spine. Daring Do and Pinkie shared a more...normal greeting.

With one last squeeze and an audible *crack!* Paprika set the hurting Spike back on the ground and walked over to the others, who were actively pushing the rocks onto their respective locations on the switches.

Nonchalantly, Pinkie asked, "So, what did you guys find over there?"

"Oh, not much." From where he lay, Spike pulled out a purple cape from under himself that looked a direct copy of the cape that that "Mare-Do-Well" once donned.

_**THE VEIL-DO-WELL!** +1 Royal +3 Sneak Doesn't turn you into an alicorn, unfortunately._

"NOT worth going for." He didn't seem to mind as he started to wear it, but never mind that.

Daring Do held a hoof to her mouth. She whispered, "Put a can in it, Spike! We don't want to alert anyone in the next room over."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. Just try to keep your voice down... Got it." The rock clicked into place on the switches, then disappeared.

The doors to the next room creaked open slowly as a chest appeared next to the spot Spike was standing. The party stared slack-jawed at the sight of the deformed front part of the throne room of the Castle of the Three Sisters. With the exception, of course, the entire party. Daring Do and Pinkie Pie walked in confidently, while Spike and Paprika were too engrossed in the chest's contents; a HUGE crown, embedded with three large jewels!

_**GAINED: C-R-O-W-N-E-D** +2 Giant Swords $39.99 for 2000 Gem Apples Bravo for completing the temple! Almost! High-five, Low-five, all that. Hee-hee-hee!_

This room was clearly a combination of sorts. The floor was made of the mossy-grey tile of the Castle and the brick of the ruins in nearly equal amounts. Although the ledge they were standing on clearly wasn't there in the original castle, the battered banners lining the wall and the unmistakable sun icon in the center of the room clearly showed this was the room right outside the throne room.

Below the ledge, several predators lounged around, all eyeing the surrounding areas, but fortunately not the ledge. Some flames lit around all exits of the room, signaling that these predators would need to be defeated to proceed.

Daring Do crouched down, to be less noticeable as she took bearings of the predators at the bottom. Two wolves, snake, two lionesses. Clearly not as bad as the last group she faced, and ESPECIALLY good that there weren't any bears. The battle would be a five-on-four... A bit unfortunate, but outnumbering didn't seem to be a big problem here.

She silently leapt down, using her wings to guide herself into an appropriate attacking position while Pinkie Pie and Paprika looked on with a smile. Then, she struck!

**Fight!**

She started by using a chokehold on the first lioness. It was clear that the lioness was at a disadvantage, being in the front and unable to attack with her claws. She yowled in pain, well, almost. After the first half second, Daring Do increased the pressure, completely choking the lioness of any breath.

Meanwhile, the other predators in the room had heard the first sounds of a scuffle and were slowly waking up. Just before they could, Pinkie Pie jumped down with a frying pan, hitting one of the wolves straight over the head, stunning it completely with a loud bang.

This big bang quickly brought the rest of the predators to their feet (or, lack of feet, in the case of the snake) and ready to attack. The first lioness had already gone down, and Do took to the air, out of range of any of their claw attacks. The snake, having the range advantage, started to shift its focus to the flyer, while the others went after Pinkie.

Spike jumped onto Paprika's back. He slapped her back a couple of times, attempting to rise her from where she sat, watching. Dumbly, she just continued to stare and laugh at the predators fighting. "Come on! Don't you want to give some predators some hugs?" Still she sat, not moving. Like, at all.

Spike tried a different tactic. "Uh... they have pie?"

Nothing.

"Hmmm...... Oh! Look! Balloons!"

Still nothing. She still sat with that stupid grin on her face.

Fed up with Paprika, Spike grabbed some of her wool by her neck. Pulling back sharply, he commandeered the still laughing Paprika into a standing position. Then he pushed her head forwards like a throttle, leading Paprika to run off the ledge they were standing on and into the fray.

A direct hit! The snake had finally scored a hit on the flyer, bringing her down to earth to dry her eyes from the poison. That was then he struck! He launched himself towards her, biting down on one of the pony's hooves, causing her to scream in pain. Then the pressure was removed. Daring Do checked for the snake, but all she found was a fat alpaca, sitting where the snake once was.

On the other hand. Pinkie wasn't struggling much with her adversaries. Although the lion and wolf were fast, Pinkie was faster! A few whacks here, a couple of whacks here, a dodge or block or two, a giant salt and pepper shaker and PARTY CANNON! And then, silence.

**It's over!**

All four of them lay in the pit, Daring Do and Pinkie to recover from the battle, and Spike and Paprika simply waiting for them to feel recovered. After a little bit, and a couple of broken black orbs later, Pinkie asked, "What next? Let's keep going!"

A set of stairs led up to the next area, which split into two doors. The larger exit was ordained with gold and silver linings, obviously leading to the throne room of the castle. The other door was wooden and dilapidated, and from cracks in both of them a small glow shone, possibly from outside.

"Hmmm..." Daring Do stood up, gingerly testing out her bitten leg. Finding nothing wrong with it, she continued: "Well... It doesn't seem like anything else is in this room. The big one is probably where the end is... But that glow might mean extra things in the smaller one..."

"Okay! We go into the small one first!" Pinkie ran into the door that led to the left. No one followed her, but she didn't care. Treasure hunting was fun!

The room was illuminated only from the center, from a few cracks in the ceiling. Otherwise, it was pitch black. At the very center of it all, and getting the most light shone on it, was a rock with an electrical carving on it... something seemed off though. Like something was missing. No matter. Pinkie picked up the treasure, or more accurately, "treasure," and shoved it into her mane. Then she skipped out of the room, joining back up with the others.

The others were staring at a normal looking wall to the right of the throne room’s door. Daring remarked, “There’s something about this wall...” She turned back to Paprika. “A little help here?”

She obliged. She charged headfirst for the second time at the wall in question, successfully breaking through! She hit a second, harder wall while still running forwards, and slid down with a squeak and a bump.

“You okay?” Unharmed, Paprika hipped back onto her feet with a laugh. Than she looked around the room a bit.

She put her head to the ground, then comically sniffed it like a dog. Shrugging, Pinkie playfully followed. After a few seconds of sniffing, Pinkie stumbled upon some sort of underground river. “Hey guys!”

“No, no. No!” Spike held up his hands, then slowly backed away. “Not me! I’ll just wait over here in the- huh!” He was stopped by one of Daring Do’s hind hooves.

“Aw, Spike! Don’t tell me you’re gonna chicken out when we can get this treasure in this part of the cave!” She gestured towards the source of the glow. “It’s right there! And I don’t think there are any booby traps on this one.” She pat Spike on the head. “Don’t worry, we’re here for-“

She was abruptly cut off by the sound of Pinkie and Paprika stacking on top of each other. Pinkie, who was on top of Paprika’s head, reached up to the corner of the wall and ceiling. “Hello, Mister Spider! How are you doing today? Or maybe tonight? Hahahahaha! What’s that?” She held her ear up close to the corner while Paprika blew a raspberry. “Oooooh! You have 2763 brothers and sisters here in this cave? That’s amazing! You must love them all very much!”

“OOOOOOOOOOOOON SECOND THOUGHT...” Daring Do stood back at the entrance with Spike. “We’ll just wait for you here. See what’s over there once you’re done with that- ugh-“ a shudder rippled through her body “-thing, over there.”

Arachnid conversation over, Pinkie jumped off the blepping alpaca. “Okey-dokey-lokey! Come on Pappy!”

She jumped into the water, Paprika closely following behind. They came upon a stone stand. On it, there was a green orb with golden rings surrounding it. Etched on the side was a double row, held together by two columns.

“Ooh! Green shiny thing! Let’s take it!” Pinkie shoved it into her tail as well, then hopped on Paprika’s back as she waded back to the false wall.

“Find anything?”

“Yep!” Huey ducked into Pinkie’s tail, then flew back out with the gem, displaying it for the rest to see.

"Hey! I thought you said you wouldn't talk!"

"Ha ha, lines go BRRRRRRR"

They admired the jewel for a few minutes, then picked themselves up to go to the next room. The throne room.

They opened the door slowly and dramatically. It revealed the now-dark room, much more gloomy than before. The two thrones were still there, but the stairs leading up to them were destroyed by an unknown cause. The windows were somehow even more destroyed than before, the floor tiles had some masonry strewn across it, and a seemingly out of place organ sagged in the corner.

But the biggest difference to the room wasn’t how the room degraded. It was what was added. Right in the center of the room, a monolith with strange unreadable carvings sat temptingly.

D. Do swiftly glided to the floor in front of the stone carving. She looked around, tapping random floor tiles, even poking at a few of the markings carved. Satisfied, she called to the others. “Okay, I don’t think this is booby trapped either!”

The others tripped towards the pegasus, who now pulled out a notepad to copy down the markings.

“Woah.” Spike rested a hand on a spiral shape. “What does it all mean?”

“No idea!” *Boom!* “What the-“ The same purple of goop from earlier latched onto Daring Do and Spike's wings again!

“Aah! Booby trap!” Daring Do jumped quickly away, the rest simply backing away. A purple swirl of... spirit? Flew right in front of the monolith.

It slowly morphed into a predator- wait no, a four legged creature with hooves. As more of the body formed, it became apparent that it was a unicorn. A dark one, with a very long horn and hair that looked like smoke. A half-transparent book of the same material also appeared, levitating in front of the new ungulate.

Pinkie Pie yelled, “Ooh! Is she friendly? Hiiiiii!” Pinkie Pie waved at the slowly advancing figure.

Do stood her ground. "I don't know who you are... but BACK OFF!" She stood menacingly (or at least in her eyes, menacingly) in front of Spike and Paprika, as the unicorn continued her walking.

Spoiler alert: She wasn’t friendly.

**Fight!**

_Special Battle!_  
_Conditions:_  
_Defeat ??? to win_  
_Don't die_  
_That's it_  
_No seriously, that's it_

The unicorn began her attack, not by aiming at them, but at the door. A blast of light later, and the door's archway collapsed on itself, trapping everyone in the room, for now. Assessing the situation and the size of the rocks, Spike came to the conclusion that it would be impossible to clear a way out. That wasn't the current issue though. The elephant, er, ungulate in the room was clearly this new entity.

She, most likely, due to her nose shape and manestyle, started her attack by ripping several pages out of the book she was holding and throwing them on the ground. They were quickly set ablaze, an eye forming on each of them as they became traps. Most of the adventurers were running or flying safely away from danger. Paprika even managed to dodge in and land a low blow, tripping her.

She suddenly seemed to realize she was outnumbered. Her horn flared up in the strange color from the flames on the book traps, then four clones materialized out of thin air. Horn lighting up stronger, she started to levitate, holding the book out in front of her, pages flapping wildly from the magic wind. Incantations she uttered from her mouth, nearly unable to be heard.

Each of them were caught in a separate one-on-one with their own unicorn, locked off from helping each other by the page traps. Daring Do's seemed to be aggressive, pulling all sorts of magical stunts from her horn and flaming book to keep most of Daring's more neutralizing-based moves at bay.

Pinkie and Paprika, though, were having a somewhat easier time. Having ranged moves of their own in their arsenal, it was much more an even fight on their end. No later than twenty seconds after the battle started, Paprika's seemed battered more than she was.

Spike's in particular seemed to be somewhat hesitant to fight. Compared to the other brawls happening around him, his clone seemed to be more sluggish, perhaps even lenient on him. Almost reminded him of... OOF!

It slapped him across the gut with a fiery skull! He was knocked head over heels from the impact, then slammed his back on a wall. Wait... that wasn't-

The unicorn approached closer. Looking past the equine's advancing approach, he saw Pinkie and Paprika were starting to wrap their battles up smoothly, while both combatants in Daring Do's corner seemed to be in it. The only one left was him...He closed his eyes as he waited for his doom.

The unicorn raised her horn, flaring it up in purple, blue, and pink hues, preparing an awesome attack... then blew out a smaller blast that merely caused flinching. The unicorn stopped in her tracks and stared at him, almost gasping in delight, for some reason, staring him up and down either gladly or greedily. This hesitation was all Spike needed.

He launched himself back into action, driving her back into one of her own flames. Even though it didn't seem to have an effect on her, she was still quite surprised. She leapt up into action again, only to be forced down again as Spike retaliated with fire blast after fire blast. Not even a few seconds later, the clone disappeared into smoke and some strange symbols.

A few seconds later, the entire library of flames shrank down into nothingness again, leaving only pages scattered in the wind.

Paprika ran over to Spike first, checking him over. Finding nothing more than a cut or two, she gave him a LIGHT squeeze, and a kiss on the head. The rest of the entourage came next, Daring Do in particular looking a little worse for wear, but still kicking. Pinkie Pie jumped up and down. "Well, this is fun so far! Just one more left!" She turned back towards the final dark unicorn, who seemed more than ready to finish the battle off.

First, she created two portals coming out either side of the room they were standing in. Two demonic looking hands shot out of them! Everyone was able to dodge, but these hands took up a major part of the battlefield. The floating unicorn commandeered herself over the arms, shooting out magical projectiles that rained down on the group, narrowly missing sizzling Pinkie and Paprika's tails.

The arms retracted as the false unicorn charged up her next barrage. She repeated her motions a second time, charging and storing more energy in herself as she did. One of the fireballs struck Spike, right in the back. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" He leapt down on the floor, rolling on his wings to extinguish the burning feeling on his back, then bumped into the solid arms, just before they retracted.

Then, an idea struck Spike! "Guys! Climb on top of the arms! We can reach her from there!" The party looked at him strangely, but seemed to comply with his idea, standing, well, running at the ready. The next time the unicorn spawned the arms, all four of them climbed up, dodging the fireballs as they went. Easier said than done, especially since they were going UP and the balls were raining DOWN, but it was quite manageable. Paprika reached her first!

With a strange glow in her eyes, Paprika charged forwards at the aggressor. Then she hugged her from all angles! Running from left to right, she rapidly showed her affection in the strongest way possible! With one final leap onto the unicorn, Paprika extricated herself and allowed Daring Do to take over.

And "take over" she did. When in her element, Daring Do had the skills to easily match even the toughest magic user. She threw the spirit up in the air, jumping high even without her wings to follow up on her attacks. Punches, kicks, and checks all calculated with surprising efficiency were pulled off.

Without any other option, the unicorn did the only thing she could. Finding a small opening, she jabbed her horn forwards, nearly catching Daring Do's eye out. Then, she neatly teleported back to where she was before, shooting more fireballs down on them. This time, there were no arms to jump off of, and even with Daring Do's best jumping efforts, Oleander was too high up. The sparks were easy enough to avoid sure, but that meant nothing when the unicorn started to charge her ultimate attack further.

"Dang it!" Daring Do flopped down near where Spike was standing. "She's too high up! If only we had a way to shoot ourselves up there..." But Spike wasn't listening. He was running over to Pinkie Pie, faster than he ever ran before.

"Pinkie! Pinkie!"

She turned to look at him as she finished her newly created "Dodge Dance." "What's up?"

Spike panted as the unicorn started to create an aura around herself. "P-party- *gasp* Need-"

Paprika ran over carrying the cannon in question. She laughed and set it down on the ground. "Perfect! Now, I need to-woah!"

She shoved him in the cannon without him even asking! She quickly aimed it at the glowing sorceress, then-

*BOOOOM!*

Almost there. Just needed a bit more time. Then these fools would truly learn the Power! The power of the PRE-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!" SMASH!

Pinkie watched, shake and popcorn in her hooves. "YAY! A direct hit! You go Paprika!" Daring walked over to complement Paprika on her quick thinking as well.

She didn't seem to care. She simply held a hoof over her mouth and gave a coy chuckle.

**It's over!**

With goop dispelled, Spike quickly righted himself, albeit dizzily, in the air. He came back down to earth as he saw the final bits of the unicorn fade away into nothingness. "OOOHH! Spikey-wikey! You were amazing!" Pinkie and Paprika gave him a crushing hug for the second or third time. "Oog! Please! Hooves... off! Please!" From the corner of his eye, he could see that Daring Do was just finishing up her detailed drawings of the monolith.

With what little elbow room he had, Spike waved for her attention. "Daring Do! A little- help here?!"

She coolly walked over to Spike, opened her mouth to speak... then added her pressure onto the pile as well.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"Nope!" "Nah." "*phhhhhhhft*"

After their hugging was over, they sat down to cool off from the heated battle. After a nice picnic, courtesy Paprika, Daring Do brought up the good question, "How do we get out now?"

Pinkie Pie, as always, had an answer. "Ooh! How about that door over there labeled 'Convenient Not-Plot-Related Exit Door?'" Pinkie Pie pointed at a door that had suddenly appeared that I totally didn't put there for the sake of plot. I would never do that.

"❄︎♒︎♏︎ ■︎♏︎⌧︎⧫︎ □︎■︎♏︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ♋︎ ❒︎♓︎♍︎🙵 ❒︎□︎●︎●︎ 👎︎□︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⧫︎❒︎♋︎■︎⬧︎●︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎ ♓︎⧫︎"

Spike mopped his brow with his backhand. "You know what? I'm just going to stop questioning this. What do you think, Paprika?"

"👎︎︎□︎︎■︎︎🕯︎︎⧫︎︎ ♍︎︎●︎︎♓︎︎♍︎︎🙵 ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♓︎︎⬧︎︎ ●︎︎♓︎︎■︎︎🙵🖳︎︎ ♒︎⧫︎⧫︎◻︎⬧︎🖳︎📭︎📭︎⬥︎⬥︎⬥︎📬︎⍓︎□︎◆︎⧫︎◆︎♌︎♏︎📬︎♍︎□︎❍︎📭︎⬥︎♋︎⧫︎♍︎♒︎✍︎❖︎🖬︎⌛︎■︎🗏︎◻︎☞︎☞︎🏱︎💧︎●︎🕈︎🗐︎"

"I still have no idea what that means." Daring Do shook her head while signaling them to leave. "Let's get out of here."

"She means, Let's get out of here and see Mister Sun again!"

No one seemed to argue with Paprika's infallible logic. They all walked out the convenient door to the outside, where they happily greeted Mister Sun again.

* * *

Pen: Alright! Back on track! So where are we going again?

Eraser: Uh, try to get back to where we were. The abandoned shack.

Pen: Sure. As soon as I figure out what continent we're on.

Blocky: Hey, you never answered the question about who let you drive. Why do you get to drive?

Pen: Because, I GOT the van. Seems pretty obvious to me. Smooth road. Not a lot for me to crash into, anyways.

Blocky: Sure. Just one more question. Why are we driving through the desert?

Pen: Because that's where the Distance Tracker 2000 is taking us.

Pen: Whoa!

Eraser: What's the hold up?

Pen: *pointing at canyon* We can't pass that in a van.

Eraser: Hey! Look over there! A cow!

Blocky: HEY! You good?!

Cow: Yes! Thank'ee fer' askin! Can't git o'er there; the bridge's out! Kinda wanna trade 'fore its too late!

Pen: WHAT'S YOUR CART MADE OF?!

Cow: Why do ya need ta' know?!

Pen: BECAUSE!

Cow: Er... Mostly wood, tarp, 'n' steel!

Pen: OKAY! We can get you over here! Just stay in your cart, and we'll get you over here!

Blocky: YOU IN?!

Cow: YEP!

Pen: OKAY! HANG TIGHT!

[Pen activated "Steal."]

[Steal successful! Acquired: Cart x1 Cow x1 Supplies x5]

*Clang of wood on ground*

Eraser: You okay?

Cow: I... think so? Oh! Well, bust my bonnet! Madison 'ere 'as made it to the other side! Don't know 'ow, but anyways, now that Ah can get a good look at ya... I'd like to thank ya'll face-to-face!

Eraser: Sure, you're welcome. Do you have a piece of metal we can borrow?

Madison: Uh... I think so. Lemme check.

*Eraser used Vital Throw on A literal van!*

*It's super effective!*

Madison: Will this do?

*Acquired: Baking dish x1*

Eraser: Sure! Thanks.

Eraser: HEY! GET ME BACK OVER THERE!

Pen: OKAY!

[Pen activated "Steal."]

[Steal successful! Acquired: Eraser x1]

Pen: THANK YOU!

*Vroom Vroom*

Madison: NO, THANK YEW!

Madison: Strange creatures... but Ah'm sure they'll be nuthin' but good.

Madison: ...

Madison: Land sakes, hope I didn't jinx it.


	11. Shy Helpers and Sheepish Heelers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Angel Bunny is a jerk.

_Pickuppickuppickuppickuppick oh! Hey!_

Eraser: Hey.

_What's UUUUPPPP?!_

Eraser: In this chapter? So far, I've been sitting in the back of this van FOR THE PAST THREE HOURS.

_Aw, that's too bad._

Eraser: Whatever. Blocky's taking a break. Since I'm the CEO when he's not in charge... he let me take the call. Where's Discord? He's who he wanted to talk to.

_Oh, he just kept screaming about this chapter. Eventually I just got so fed up with him that I locked him in a room. Do you want to see him?_

Eraser: This video call would be for nothing if I didn't, so get him out here.

_Alright. Diiiiiiiiscoooooord! Discord?_

_Hold on, he's probably still crying tears of joy._

_Discord, come ou-_

"Get the name of a sexual innuendo out of this room I am in! I am currently in the middle of waiting for the new episode to drop! Seriously! Personal! Space, people!"

Pen: Who you talking to, Eraser?

Eraser: Discord and Ital.

Pen: Cool! Yeah! You two. Heard a bit about you. So when're we gonna get those DVDs and comic books?

_Huh? Oh. Today. I'll teleport them over to your front right glove compartment. Why do you need them?_

Pen: Rrrrrresearch.

"Wait, if you can deliver comic books and DVDs, can you deliver me to Fluttershy?!"

_Strangely, I can only seem to target their front right glove compartment. A bit of a squeeze, even for you._

"Hmmph."

_Gee, depressing. And now back to your regularly scheduled program._

"With Fluttershy!"

* * *

Aaaahhhhhh... The pegasus in question lightly shifted in the spot she was standing, her loving creatures surrounding her from all angles on the walls. Squirrels, raccoons, and Harry the bear stood back, lounging around on this warm day in the meadows. Nice and calm. Just the way she liked it. She turned on the heat under her kettle on her cute little green stove.

She inhaled through her nose, taking in the sweet scent of the tea. Mmmmm! The slow, sweet smell of honey and chamomile wafted through her nose. Another wave of relaxation washed over her as she thought about her friends... or rather lack of them?

It was...quiet. Just the way she liked it. Too quiet. Not the way she liked it. No one had bothered her for the past two days, good...but that included her friends, not good. Including Discord...

She quickly picked up the kettle by its cork handle to dispel her increasingly scary thoughts, pouring the scalding liquid into two cups, one normal-sized, one small. "Oh, Angel! You said you wanted to try some tea today!"

The bunny in question hopped onto a small table, where he tapped his foot impatiently. Fluttershy slid the tiny teacup towards Angel Bunny, where he touched his paws to its side, but reflexively pulled them away at the touch of the heated porcelain.

"Oh! Don't touch it there! Here." Fluttershy lovingly curled his paws around the teacup handle. "It's still warm, so make sure to blow."

Angel took a few suspicious sniffs, then slowly took a mouthful. Then his eyes narrowed as he hopped to a nearby chair, teacup still in hand, feigning indifference to the drink. Fluttershy flew upwards a bit, allowing a chuckle to slip out. "I knew you'd like it!" She turned to the rest of her animal friends. "Would any of you like a try?" As the pegasus doled out small (sans Harry's portion) doses to her other animal friends, Angel rolled his eyes as he lounged in his chair. He looked around the room a bit more.

It was weird. For the last couple of weeks, the others, but mostly Discord and Rarity, came over to either help or check on Fluttershy. But since two days ago, they somehow went, how should he put it, missing.

Now that he thought about it... he didn't remember too much from a couple of days ago. Like, he usually had an immaculate memory, but he couldn't remember anything from the past couple... He racked his brain while his owner...well...caretaker sang her beautiful melody.

Alright... so what happened from today back to about two days ago?

Okay, start from the beginning of the day. Fluttershy woke up, then woke him up, tried to feed him salad, he pushed away salad, she said something about eating healthily.

Then she said something about the sun...

Light.

* * *

_"Oh, Angel! You know that your greens are healthy. Don't just push them away like that._

_"Hm-hm-hm! Oh, you know that your greens are full of, HEALTHY vitamins! Mmm-mm!_

_"You know why they're important, right? Let me tell you!_

_"Well, first is vitamin D! It's good for your bones. Oh, you don't HAVE to eat your greens to get it though. You can get it from the beautiful, shining sun-_

* * *

Shoot.

Angel quickly dumped the drink onto an red, angry bird's head. It screeched in pain as it flapped around, trying to remove the liquid from any vitals as Angel ran towards where Fluttershy was.

She was still humming, but at least she was on the ground this time. The rabbit chittered to try to get her attention, but was ultimately drowned out by the other animal's noises. This would require another tactic...

He climbed onto one of the squirrel's nests. No one was home, lucky him. He slowly slid himself on a few of the branches to get to a higher location, and closer to Fluttershy.

A minute or two of heart-wrenching climbing from the incredible height of four meters, Angel was in position. He positioned a paw to be right in line with Fluttershy's head, gulped, then took a blind leap of faith!

He flew true!

Well, flew true into the ceiling. Then fell off the ceiling with a splat on the floor. It still got Fluttershy's attention all the same.

"Oh my goodness! Angel!" Fluttershy quickly ran over to the dazed rabbit. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Before he could get a "word" out, she quickly guided him to a tiny little bed made out of sticks and straw, shoving a thermometer in his mouth and wrapping him in a hot compress. He spat and wriggled out of both of them, sternly staring at his caregiver.

"Um, Angel? Is something wrong? Oh!" She looked at him apologetically. "Is it about those vegetables the other day?"

That was when he launched into his story.

* * *

Oh, why'd it have to be her?!

She'd been walking for several days now, probably started even sooner than the rest of the Seekers... She wanted to go home...

But that was impossible for now; they wouldn't listen to her. They would NEVER listen to her.

WELL... there was that one- Oh. Wait. Right. What a dirty trick that was.

But now, she was stuck in the cold, unforgiving world, who knows how far she was away from her...

Her parents.

Right, her parents. They didn't even try to stop them; they just went with the flow.Oh, WHY did everyone she knew have to be so cowardly? Why did she have to be the one who spoke out?

A small nuzzle from one of her puppies shook her from her thoughts. She smiled. At least she still had her puppies. They were always there for her, every step of the way. Even when she fell unconscious two days ago, her puppies were always there to help her.

She watched as two of her puppies frolicked around, not a care in the world. To them, it might as well be a simple outing, as rare as those were to begin with.

"Oi! Ruff! Tuft! Puff! Tatties and newbs!" All four of the sheepdogs pounced on her, deftly knocking her to the ground, licking her all the way.

Being a yearling lamb, she was definitely susceptible to surprise tickle attacks. “Ha ha ha! Stoppit! Stopp-aha ha ha ha ha! Ple-he-he-hease!”

Once they were done with their licking, they stood back in a straight line as they always did to wait for Pom to dish out their food. Smiling, Pom poured them the last of the food she had in her little knapsack.

Wait...

Last?!

Her heart skipped a beat. The last?! She checked again. The last. Pom started to panic; she could have sworn she had packed enough for the entire party, and to last a month at least!

She sternly, for her standards at least, turned to her puppies, discretely eyeing each and every one of them to find the culprit. One of them was clearly eating less than the others, only picking at his food. Upon seeing Pom staring at him, he shoveled several mouthfuls at once down his muzzle.

* * *

Blocky: Ha ha ha! That was a funny prank! For a prank, get a dimensional anomaly to make a pet hungry, and make him eat a traveler's food over a few days! Then, when the owner realizes it, watch as she gets clinically scared for a few seconds!

This program was brought to you by:  
Blocky's Funny Doings, International

Discord: Aw, haw haw haw! You truly are a professional at this!

* * *

Sighing, the young lamb removed the glutted pup from his meal and gave him a scolding, as best she could.

“Um...”

She tried. She seriously gave it all she could.

The puppy gave her a lick right on her cheek, dispelling whatever she was working up to say. “Oh, Ruff. Jis’ don’t do it again?”

Alright. So no food. Now what?

Ask for help. That was the only option. There was nothing else she could do, besides... Not getting into that.

She knew what those dogs ate. Meat, but it didn’t seem like they would eat her, at least for now. She had found from experimentation some plants they COULD eat... but never mind that.

She looked around for anything, or rather, anyone, that might help her. In the near distance, not a two minute walk away, there sat a small cottage on top of a hill. It looked... friendly, nearly like her own home. She smiled a small smile.

But that didn’t mean anything, what if it wasn’t friendly? The ungulate in there could be anyone! Her already fast heartbeat sped up to match the beat of a snare drum roll. What if it was a mean witch? A murdering criminal?! A predator?!

Maybe it was better to just go back; there was still time. Yes, that’s what she’d do, go back and stock up again. Nothing wrong with- eh?!

All four of her puppies were pushing her towards the scary house! She scrabbled her hooves on the ground, trying to find a hold, but the force of the puppies were too strong for her. She was being carried against her will, to the house. “Wait! Hold on! Can’t we jus’ flip a coin?!”

Three minutes of dragging later, her merry band were at the foot of the hill, Pom trying in vain to escape their prods and pushing. Upon seeing where she was, she stopped. “Weel... guess there’s no goin’ back naou...” They said the first step towards a goal was the hardest...

Then the second step. Just as hard. Wait, that's not what they... Step number three. Still the same difficulty. Step number-

Internally, Pom violently reconsidered the validity of that specific phrase. All the steps were equally as hard. She shrank down lower and lower, when suddenly, she froze in place. She was at the door. There was just one thing keeping her from knocking. Her puppies stood next to her at the ready in case something went wrong.

She gulped, shaky hoof held up to knock on the door. Here goes...

* * *

Angel Bunny had finished his recap of the situation, retold as an epic monologue. Everycreature in the cottage stared at him slack jawed. With nothing else to say, Angel jumped off of the table, and back into the armchair, where he slowly and deliberately sipped more of his now cold tea.

Fluttershy floated down again. "Angel... I didn't..." He didn't really care anymore. He was basically retired from the conversation.

"I didn't know... remember-"

Out of nowhere, Fluttershy gave him a hug! "I didn't know you read Hamlet, Angel! That was beautiful!"

Angel and the rest of the animals facepalmed at the same time, as Fluttershy flew up to a tall bookshelf. "I think I know JUST the book for you to read!" She scanned several spines of several books involving plays, stage productions, and other similar ideas that she was clearly attempting to hide from her friends. "Um, it should be right around here somewhere... Harry likes them a lot!"

Angel turned to Harry the Bear as he stuffed a tutu and a pair of fairy wings behind his back, looking around nonchalantly. REAL smooth, Harry. He rolled his eyes, as Flutters inevitably came back to him, holding a medium sized volume in her hooves.

*Knockknockknock!*

Fluttershy stopped what she was doing, dropping the book right next to Angel's foot. She slowly walked towards the door, face in a state of fear and mild glee simultaneously. This was the first time in three days someone had knocked on her door! "Oh! Someone's here! I've been worrying too much; there they are!"

Then, she stopped, losing what little nerve she had. "Oh, no! What if it isn't them?!" She strained her ears, trying to hear the sound of her friends, only hearing rustling of leaves, and the clip-clop of unfamiliar hooves.

She ran over to the corner, panting heavily. Some squirrels even ran over and draped a blanket over her as her teeth chattered out of sheer fear, too scared to move until she heard a familiar voice.

*Knockknockknockknockknock!*

Fluttershy made no move towards the door this time. She continued to cower even further into the folds of the warm blanket, as an eerie silence descended on her home as most of the animals shuffled out of the way of the panicked pony.

Angel Bunny, on the other hand, wasn't having any of it. He (somehow) thoroughly dragged Fluttershy to the door as she struggled to remain rooted in the spot she was in.

Angel slammed the door open, revealing a... bush. Right in front of the door. Why was a... OH GOD IT HAS EYES THAT'S DISGUSTING OH GOD

Angel quickly picked up Fluttershy by her back, and threw her outside, (somehow) right into the bush. It screamed!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! Don't 'urt me!"

From out of the bush, a small lamb emerged, shortly followed by four little puppies. Seeing where this would most likely lead, Angel slammed the door, leaving pegasus, sheep, puppies, and bush outside.

The pegasus flew out of the bush as the sheep shakily rammed her back to the door, eyes darting around nervously. Oh, it was only a little lamb, not even a year or two old! Fluttershy gasped loudly, face breaking into a small grin, eyes sparkling.

"Oh my!" "Oh, dear..."

Fluttershy chuckled. "Pegasus, actually! Oh my goodness!" She landed, grin becoming larger. She walked forwards, pinning the nervous lamb to the door even more. "A little lamb!" She got up even closer as the lamb looked her with an unchanging nervous expression.

"Are you lost? Are you looking for help?" Fluttershy was pratically muzzle to muzzle with the sheep, speaking only barely coherently, and VERY excitedly. "Um, ken ye-"

Fluttershy's smile somehow spanned nearly her entire face. "You can talk too!"

"Er-"

"Can you tell me how?" With every sentence, Fluttershy came closer to the lamb.

"Uh-" Several beads of sweat dripped from the sheep's wool.

"Ohmigosh, do you need help?!"

"UH-"

"Do you need anything, sweetie?!"

"UHHHHHHH-"

The sheep eyes rolled upwards as she flopped forwards onto a shocked Fluttershy, in a faint.

The opposing Sheep fainted!  
FLUTTERSHY gained 15 EXP. Points!  
You got Unconscious Lamb for winning!

* * *

_*slow clapping*_

Eraser: Real smooth.

Blocky: Hahaha!

"*ugly crying* I knew it was a Pokémon!"

* * *

Pom slowly awoke to the sound of her puppies' paws striking the wooden floor of her home. She slightly smiled, her eyes still closed.

She snuggled deeper into her blanket, like she always did in the morning. It felt so warm, and safe. Safer than what she had to do by a long shot...

She didn't want to leave. But she had to... they said so. No harm in delaying as long as possible, though.

While she continued her pretense, she felt the warm aura of her parents surround her, the sound of her mothers hooves approaching the bed. Here goes...

Her mother nuzzled up to her, softly speaking, "Oh, I'm sorry for giving you such a fright, yesterday."

Wait, that wasn't her-

Pom jumped out of her bed with a scream, memories of the week earlier smashing into her brain again. She already went; did she go back in time?! That was exactly what her mother would have said to her-

Her four puppies tackled her to the bed, licking and nuzzling her profusely, as she took her time to calm down. It took about five to ten minutes for her breathing to become its normal, fast rhythm again.

Once calmed down, she sat on the bed, staring wide eyed at the new area she was in and at the pegasus she first thought was her mother. This wasn't her house... but it looked so similar... But who was the owner? The pegasus walked over and rested a hoof on the lamb's shoulder. Too scared to move, other than shake out of fear, the lamb could only watch and listen as the pony started to speak.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I just saw you and got so excited, I just couldn't help myself! I hope you understand." She rubbed her hoof caringly over the lamb's shivering back.

Pom still just couldn't bring herself to move. Her head dipped down as the pony continued her petting. Seeing how the pegasus was helping their owners, Pom's puppies nuzzled up to this unknown pony as well, licking her lower half deliberately.

Although still decidedly scared, Pom was beginning to slowly relax again. The pony asked, "So tell me about yourself. What's your name?"

It took a couple of seconds to gather any sort of... anything. "P-Pom... Miss..."

"That's adorable!" The pony nuzzled lovingly up to Pom. "That's a wonderful name! My name is Fluttershy." Then she sat back, further away to respect the lamb's fear.

Pom's puppies climbed all over Fluttershy, who was giggling as she extricated herself from the barking pile. She asked Pom, "Are these ones yours?"

"Er-" Pom was slowly becoming more comfortable. "-Y-yes?" The dogs were beginning to become loud, so she barked for attention, causing all of the dogs jumped off the bed and sat in a straight line.

Fluttershy happily gasped again. "Oh my goodness! Did you just bark?"

"Yes." Pom took a quick roll call, then continued. "Ah learnt how tae talk lik' thaim tae make it easier fur us tae understand itch'otha'. They're guid puppies. They're my life..." The corners of her eyes started to tear up.

The pegasus mouthed the words "Oh, my...," then beamed. "You're so talented! You learnt it yourself?" She pointed to a few marks on her flank. "I wish I could speak to my animal friends like that. Even I can't speak like that to a squirrel or raccoon." A small rabbit hopped up next to Fluttershy, hands on his hips in indignance. "Or rabbit. Don't worry Angel, I didn't forget about you!" Pom and Fluttershy both chuckled as the dogs stared at them curiously.

The bunny held up a teacup in one paw, then motioned towards the table as Harry the Bear was quickly escorted out of the premise by the birds due to his voracious appetite.

"Well said, Angel!" Fluttershy continued, placing Angel in her mane. "If you wanted, could you help us set up for a true tea-time? We'd love to have you!"

With the exception of the last sentence, Pom seemed alright with setting up. Even her puppies joined in. With all their helping hooves and paws, the job was done in a matter of minutes.

Now Fluttershy, Pom, Angel Bunny, and Pom's puppies were all sitting at a table in the center of the room, drinking tea and not being as merry as possible. Several birds (except the red one) flitted around as Fluttershy and Pom started wrapping up a discussion that explained in more detail who they were and what they were doing.

"So, ye know about the bears and wolves?"

"Partially... Sheila the kangaroo has been telling me about them- eep! I've gone and checked, but I haven't seen anything...or is that a good thing?!"

"Weel... I dinnae kno about that... r'movin' them is part a' bein' a Key Seeker, an' I'm one of em' naow. I guess."

"That sounds so stressful." Fluttershy genuinely seemed concerned about Pom's mental state. She asked, "Would you like to stay here for a while?"

Pom drew in her breath and sat in thought for a few seconds, but sighed and shook her head, her bell jingling.

"Sorry, but my friends 'n' fam'ly need me fer this... What wood they think o' me if I just let meself bail out 'a it? I'm not like that." She straightened herself up as she unmaidenly slurped the tea out of the cup.

Smiling, the little Pegasus sighed favorably. “Wow, you’re so brave! I only know a few ponies who are that dedicated to their friends!”

“Not really.” Pom reared a hoof onto one of her Tuft’s head. “Only my puppies keep me goin’ at awl... They’re all I’ve got naow.”

Even though the dogs were originally somewhat tempted to attack Angel, after a couple of whacks they found him to be simply too tough to eat and basically forged a truce with him. Heck, even at the table they were nuzzling up to him as if he was one of their brothers.

Pom teasingly called them out for it. “Bad puppies!” Then her voice got softer as she whispered, “Good puppies!”

“Well,” Fluttershy said with a tip of her ears, “I don’t think you knocked on my door for some tea, Pom. Why did you come here?”

Pom sighed, while looking at her puppies. “I needed food; the wee pups ate it all without me knowin’! I couldnae turn back like that, so I went up to yew an’-”

“Don’t say any more!” Fluttershy flew away from the table and out her front door. In a matter of seconds, she was back with a sack of kibble large enough to make her struggle to carry it. “I-ugh- have- hng- more- grr-  
food- woah!- than I need!” She slammed the huge bag on the ground.

Pom ran over to the sweating pony and gave her a big hug, thanking her multiple times in the span of twelve seconds. Tea party forgotten, Fluttershy and her animal friends helped him Pom ration her food in her bag, much faster than she did originally.

Once finished, the animals went back to whatever they were doing. While Fluttershy helped put one more portion of food, she asked Pom, “Where you going now?”

Completely comfortable now, Pom confidently gave the information. “I’m going tar’ the city of Reine, o’er that-a-way.” She gestured out a window. “I’ve heard scary rumors sat there’s predator markings there, so I’m gonnae take a gander.”

Fluttershy gasped again. “Oh, that's where Ponyville is! Can I come with you, Pleeeaaase!” She gave possibly the best puppy dog eyes impression Pom had ever seen.

She couldn’t say no. Not to that face. “Er... o-okay.”

Fluttershy relayed information to her animal friends as Pom rallied her puppies (with Angel Bunny in tow.)

They were just starting on their way, Angel situated on the pony, dogs behind the lamb. Nice and peaceful, they could take it slow.

Unfortunately, doe to an unforeseen sprite run-in, that peace and quiet all went out the window as the puppies ran off after it.

Pom and Fluttershy barked and screamed as they chased them, not realizing Angel had turned back.

Why would he have to be with these idiots?! He could be relaxing back-

He ran into two dogs with the same markings as the sheepdogs, much bigger than the rest. He screamed as loudly as he could as they picked him up in huge jaws and carried them back to the still chasing pony and lamb.

He inwardly sighed. He just couldn’t catch a break, could he?

_Fin_

* * *

Blocky: Well, that was pretty entertaining! Thanks for that!

_np_

Blocky: So anyways, that's why I wanted to talk to you. Are you down for it?

"Yes. Of course. Absolutely. I don't see why not."

Pen: Jeez, if you're gonna be sarcastic, at LEAST make it sound convincing.

"Well, I don't have to be sarcastic to tell you you're ugly."

Pen: If ugliness is the price I have to pay for less ship fics, that’s a price I’m willing to pay, aaaaaayy?!

"*flabbergasted noises*"

_Is that, like, the first time that happened?_

Pen: Probably. Ha ha! See ya.

*beep*

Eraser: So how long have you been driving for?

Pen: Relax! We've only been driving for six hours!

Blocky: SIX HOURS?! I'm going to tie my legs together if we don't get there soon!

Pen: Don't worry! The distance tracker says we only have one mile to go!

Eraser: But that says the destination is some weird apple farm.

Pen: Oh. Oops!

*"Abandoned" Shack: 276.3 Miles Away*

Everyone: *groaning*

Blocky: Great job, Pen! Now what? It's almost nighttime, and we have no idea where we are!

Pen: Well... that apple orchard is coming up. I see it! Let's see if we can crash there for the night!

Blocky: Sounds like a plan to me.

Eraser: Hey, Pen? I think you should put on the brakes before we, you know, ACTUALLY crash.

Pen: Oh, sure! The drum brakes are in my cap! I kept them with me just in case we needed them!

...

Eraser: Okay, who let you drive?

Pen: Myself.

*SMAAAAASH!*

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Pen: Aw, sweet! He sent over the rest of the episodes too!

?: 'Ey! What're you doin' ere?!

Eraser: Dangit! Uh... Quick, come up with an excuse!

?: Who’re yew?

Pen: Don’t look at me! I was too busy crashing my van into your barn!

  
  


Pen: You know, if enough people face palm, it sounds almost like applause!


End file.
